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Was Jesus A Zombie?

 
 
Sturgis
 
Reply Mon 18 May, 2020 02:06 pm
With some free time on my hands and a natural curiosity, the thought came to me (possibly from Jesus himself), that the last anyone saw of that biblical Jesus fellow, he was a zombie.

He had already been declared dead and then shoved into a cave with a huge (like ya know, like really like, like massive, like a big boulder), placed in front and pushed up to the cave entrance. So he was dead, dead, dead.

Soon after, he was skipping down the road....
...talking to people...
...clearly a zombie.

What's your take on this possibility?
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Type: Question • Score: 0 • Views: 176 • Replies: 13
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edgarblythe
 
  2  
Reply Mon 18 May, 2020 02:37 pm
I heard he flew away in the end. Didn't think zombies could fly.
Sturgis
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 May, 2020 02:45 pm
@edgarblythe,
Maybe he was part vampire bat...


That would explain everything.

The whole holy communion deal of "take eat this is the body" and "take drink, this is the blood". Verily I say unto all, there is a zombie and vampire deal happening there.
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mark noble
 
  -2  
Reply Tue 19 May, 2020 09:22 am
@Sturgis,
My take is - 'Like ya know' (I do?), 'like really like' (Ok, we're expanding), 'like massive, like a big boulder' (Ok, building toward mega-climax)....

You must be bored shitless, Sturgis.

'Read (Sounds like 'Red') in context to the 'entirity' - Jesus 'represents' the purity within All - Thus is manifest in All that is pure.

'Immanuel' was Jesus' real name, btw. (God With Us)

Try discerning the symbolic, rather than the literal, interpretation. or Not.
Mocking others' beliefs is shallow, 'as we measure, are we measured'.

I'm neither a christian or idol worshipper.
Have a Lovely day
Sturgis
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 May, 2020 02:16 pm
@mark noble,
Not bored, not mockery, merely seeking an answer.
edgarblythe
  Selected Answer
 
  2  
Reply Tue 19 May, 2020 02:20 pm
@Sturgis,
Jeez. Intellectual curiosity is rarely appreciated these days.
mark noble
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 May, 2020 02:39 pm
@Sturgis,
So..
Calling Jesus a zombie/vampire bat - Is not mockery?
Typing 'bollux' for 'attention', rather than 'actual' inquiry is relevant to non-boredom-associated interest?

Call Mohammed a zombie/vampire and release it on twitter.
I dare you.


Ultimately - It is what it is, but now Everyone sees your true colours.
Have a Lovely Day
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Sturgis
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 May, 2020 02:47 pm
@edgarblythe,
I know.

I've been called rare and even odd and often weird before.

If Jesus was indeed a zombie and therefore ate human brains, it would indicate two things.

1) he was looking for more intelligence to add to his own

2) he was a cannibal (well, that is, if a zombie is considered to be human)


The questions just keep coming to me.
mark noble
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 May, 2020 02:52 pm
@Sturgis,
ok.
Have a Lovely Day
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mark noble
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 May, 2020 02:53 pm
@edgarblythe,
Attention-seeking is on the rise, too.
Have a Lovely Day
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edgarblythe
 
  2  
Reply Tue 19 May, 2020 02:54 pm
@Sturgis,
I wonder why he thought Peter was a rock.
Sturgis
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 May, 2020 03:00 pm
@edgarblythe,
Perhaps he was stoned at the time....

...Peter or Jesus (maybe both)
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mark noble
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 May, 2020 03:00 pm
@edgarblythe,
Not just a rock - The rock upon which..... you know - You're just playing 'jester' mode.
Yep, There's an actual category for such.
Do continue.

Have a Lovely Day
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  2  
Reply Tue 19 May, 2020 06:49 pm
He must have been on amphetamines to walk on water.
0 Replies
 
 

 
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