This one sucks, it's all trashed and there's too many monkey's with car keys hanging around. Good drugs, though . . .
The experience of objective reality changes as subjectivity changes, so have you considered that if you like the drugs, that might cause you to perceive objective reality in a more negative light, i.e. because withdrawal negativity gets projected onto external reality?
Don't get me wrong; I won't argue that objective reality is utopian; it's closer to dystopian, actually; but it is what it is and our subjectivity is built to handle it naturally if we can tune it in to deal with the dystopianism through (fleeting) hope of a sustainable future.
The challenge is to get beyond deluding yourself about the present, accept how unrealistic it is that the future will be any better, yet maintain positive focus on the capacity for the human mind/imagination to foresee the impending doom and possible solutions.
Knowing that we have the capacity to foresee problems and imagine solutions should make you positive about the innate potential for intelligence in the universe, even as you study how prone we are to dystopian surrender to realism.
In short, you have to detach from hope in order to maintain hope. If you are too attached to it, the pain of reality will push you to let go and/or repress hope altogether, and that is what pushes us toward alcohol/drugs and other self-destructive technologies of detachment.