Meeting with Work regarding Sickness

You took some personal time, and now you want to be back working.

I cant go back there yet until all this is forgotten cant bear to go in if everyone knows about that day which made me lose everything in my life self respect and reputation destroyed by one unpleasant mishap

Can you live forever without working? If you've got plenty of savings, then have at it.

If not, then either find another job (good luck right now), or find a way to bear it. Anyone who would bring it up is a jerk of the lowest order.

Yes, it's embarrassing. But you're multiplying your feelings in this, I feel -- particularly by not seeking help. At a certain point, you're just stewing in your own juices, if you will.

There is today, right now, on one side of the incident. And out there, there is the other side of the incident, where you feel better and you're past it.

I feel (again, IANAD) you need to start at least inching toward that other side.

You can do it.

Did you notify them that you were taking personal time or sick leave —- or just not show up at all?

You need to go to Dr and get a note stating you could not work.

This might be IBS, lactose intolerance, or one of many other intestinal problems.

Also - change “friends” and find a new job or new dept. Way too much is being made of this for way too long by others. OR you are letting this incident define your very being.

depending on location of poster, this may not be possible in these COVID days.

Doctors are not seeing people for notes here - and province and federal government have told employers they may not request them.

YMMV

Every one knows why you're off "sick." What they don't know is how you intend to handle the situation going forward. They know you sat in your own **** for the duration of a plane ride. What they don't know is why you didn't go to the rest room to clean yourself, Or why you didn't ask for help in a difficult time.

This is what will cost you your job, It's the inability to own mistakes, ask for help, accept the help and move on. As a management point of view, when it counts the most, not only did you let yourself down, you refused to acknowledge a team effort to fix a situation that's difficult, embarrassing and fixable.

In short, you're not a team player,

So, yeah, what are you going to say that will keep your job?

You have gotten a lot of advice here and in your original post. You are an adult and it is your choice what you will do next. As an adult when you make certain choices (or you do nothing at all) you suffer consequences.

Even when life is not fair - if you act a certain way or make a certain choice because someone was mean, life wasn't fair to you, you had a bad situation beyond your control - you either get rewarded or suffer because of this choice.

So you need to put your big girl pants on and do what you should for yourself. If you cannot see a doctor in person, you likely can talk with one on the phone or have a virtual visit. My daughter had a swollen red bottom eyelid - she called the doctor and they "met" on the phone and was able to prescribe something for you.

My other daughter had a counselor visit scheduled last week - we were given the option of a virtual or in-person visit.

So there are options for you - but YOU need to decide to take them (or not) and only YOU will end up either being rewarded for making a good (even if it is hard) decision or suffer because you did not act or are still beating yourself up about this.

What has happened to me I wouldnt wish on anyone, for my bum to randomly have raging diarrhoea and a onslaught of turds while I was unconscious and to have sit in my own **** thousands of feet in the air is the worst possible time it could have happened to anyone but had to be me . The only reason I did sit there for so long was in the hope I could get off the plane and run to the nearest toilet to get cleaned up and no one would ever find out and I could keep my self respect and dignity, basically to avoid the life I have now.

To fart infront of friends and my potential boyfriend would have been embarrassing, to have to go for a poo would have been awkward and embarrassing but to foul myself thousands of feet in the air and the strong stench of farmers fields, horsepoo and off boiled eggs has destroyed my reputation completely I have lost everything over poo.

Only thing I can take from this I have learned how horrible humanity is, I went into work today and was told to wait in reception while HR got ready for me, I learned I am now known as 'Turd' and 'Smelly Arse' they were names I heard people calling me laughing in the office while I am sat downstairs waiting, my fears of people finding out socially have happened and now in work I now had confirmation EVERYONE THERE KNOWS TOO.

I started to feel similar to on the plane out of panic i started to feel ill and faint again and ran upstairs to the toilet and absoutely destroyed the toilet and then vomiting started and I was shaking and sweating. Thankfully there was access to water so I swilled myself again and luckily a work colleague came in and seen me leaning on the sink and asked was I okay and sat down with me downstairs while I waited for HR to arrive, people who I seen though couldnt walk past me and keep a straight face, I am a living laughing stock and the butt of all jokes.

The meeting with HR i explained I have got anxiety, they can barely keep a straight face in my company and kept laughing and joking about random things probably to save laughing right at me. Nothing got mentioned about that horrible incident but they questioned my anxiety issues asking why it might be, THEY KNOW but I cant tell them why.

At least one thing I know my sickness and random pooing is down to anxiety because once I heard people talking about it it triggered it again, im still off work sick now but cant see me going back the way things are now Im probably going to have to move somewhere else and get a new job because everyone thinks of me as the Dirty Bitch who **** All Over the Plane when people see me they will always think of me as that lets be honest how will anyone ever be able to forget it.

I understand what you are saying but Its impossible to be rewarded for this.

I hope your daughter is now okay but her situation isnt embarrassing like mine, and hope she never has to suffer the humilation I have.

Its so hard to talk to someone face to face about it because even my own friends who were there I have spoke to about it have said they didnt know what to say to me at the time and to be honest I couldnt even find the words to tell them I had fouled myself, how do you tell someone that it was just so awkward I was so shellshocked I couldnt even bring myself to speak I was too preoccupied with being extremely uncomfortable with the aftermath of my bowels deciding to give up completely and decimate my underwear with a avalanche of turds and diarrhoea and decimate my reputation completely with it. Even when my friends left the plane all I could think about was the humilation that was about to come when I would have to leave the plane with staff and my would be boyfriend there terrified to even look at me and still hasnt spoke to me since and avoided me like the plague and the thought of how I was going to keep the panful of my own excrement that was spread out all over my backside and thankfully trapped in my underwear but causing me extreme discomfort the slightest movement from getting out and sliding out and down other areas of my body. Still relive it daily easily the worst experience of my life hands down and I just cant help thinking what did I do to deserve it.

It has nothing to do with being embarassed - the situation I gave you was to show you that you have something wrong with you - you can meet with a doctor virtually or over the phone - if doctors are not meeting with you person due to the COVID virus.

Hey if you won't put your big girl pants on and go to someone to deal with it -- you will stay where you are.

If you do something about it - you will be rewarded by getting through it.

If you won't do anything about it - you will get no more sympathy from me.

Its anxiety that causes it i know that when i heard people mocking me what happened on that plane was happening again luckily enough i could get to a toilet in time to unleash the fury of my bowels, vomiting as well, nerves always trigger this dont get like that unless im stressed

All the more reason to get to a Dr asap.

Crohn's disease, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Spastic Colon, ulcers?!

What was the results of the HR hearing?

call your doctor
arrange for medication to deal with anxiety

once this covid19 crap is over, arrange to see a counsellor to deal with the psychological aspect of your problem

you are a working grownup and you need to manage this

call your doctor

call a health line

deal with it


___

posting here (or anywhere) won't help

call a doctor

Have to have another meeting next week cant see me going back though now knowing what im known as in work ill always be known as the girl who **** her pants

Yes, that's what you'll be known as, for awhile anyways. But time marches on and as always, someone else will become the object of ridicule in the work place. But you'll still be gainfully employed, with a physical ailment under control, once you get that all figured out.

You have got to own this. But letting something like this hold you back from living and loving and working and playing isn't how you have to be. I know you're devastated right now, it really is a terrible thing to have happen.

But it's fixable.

Don't run away from your problems. Ask for help and move on.

Not sure if this would help make you more comfortable talking with your doctor but I looked up how to talk with your doctor about embarassing things:

Sharecare: Poop is another uncomfortable topic. What should patients know when talking to their doctor about bathroom issues?
Dr. Gillespie: As before, this would be one of those special circumstances where using medical jargon can make the situation less embarrassing. And here’s the thing: talking about your poop with anyone can be embarrassing. But this is what you need to remember: To your doctor, problems you are having with your stool would be no different than problems you are having with your ear or your nose or your neck. Think of it from that angle when you’re speaking with your physician.

Here is the link that includes a few other helpful thoughts:

https://www.sharecare.com/health/tips-on-how-to-talk-to-your-doctor/article/how-to-talk-to-your-doctor-about-embarrassing-health-questions

And a whole article that sounds a little bit like you - I noted some things that might get you to read this and maybe seek help:

Fecal incontinence is not something anyone wants to talk about, but it’s extremely common, affecting up to one in four women at some point in their lives. Many women who experience occasional or chronic stool leakage may feel embarrassed about it, but they should know that treatment can help.

Because of the wide variety of causes, treating fecal incontinence might involve seeing multiple medical professionals. But the good news is that it isn’t just something you have to live with, and you’ll have many experts in your corner.

So when should you get treatment for fecal incontinence? Chen says women should see a doctor when fecal incontinence bothers them, even if it only happens once in a while.

“If fecal incontinence is lowering your quality of life or causing other problems, such as skin irritation, you may want to see a doctor,” says Chen. If you’re nervous about what the doctor might recommend, Chen says the important thing to know is that talking to a doctor doesn’t mean committing to treatment. “The more informed you are, the more empowered you’ll be to make an educated decision,” she says.

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/fecal-incontinence-in-women-qa-with-an-expert

And one more because I liked the title:

"Do You Poop Your Pants?" Should Be Asked By All Physicians, Says Loyola Specialist
Bowel leakage affects 1 in 5, yet few seek help for a fixable medical problem

https://www.newswise.com/articles/do-you-poop-your-pants-should-be-asked-by-all-physicians-says-loyola-specialist

You just walk right back in, head held high. Ignore the jerks who want to tease you or make snotty comments. They are not worth your time or energy.

As others have said, get yourself medically tended to and then get on with your life.

Take the advice of this song:



And if it's bad,
Don't let it get you down, you can take it
And if it hurts
Don't let them see you cry, you can make it!

Hold your head up, woman
Hold your head up, woman
Hold your head up, woman
Hold your head high!

And if they stare
Just let them burn their eyes on you moving
And if they shout
Don't let it change a thing that you're doing

Hold your head up
Hold your head up
Hold your head high!