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Fri 7 Feb, 2020 05:42 pm
Oh my ******* god, I can't describe my anger right now!! Just had a long argument with my girlfriend about the concept of sex. This girl is absolutely out of her mind. She says she needs sex, like as if it's a need. As if it's a scandal, that we have only had sex two times, out of those three months we have stayed together. Yes, we have had sex two times. I agreed to do it out of curiousity. And it was nothing! Just penis in pussy, and a lot of slimy stuff, so what? It was NOT a loving activity... Useless... And we have been having amazing times together since anyways, with lots of affection, and no talking of sex. But so suddenly today we got on to the topic again. Because she was talking to a friend, who somehow asked her about her sexlife, (which I find extremely inappropriate to ask about! Seriously, how can you ask someone about their sexlife? It's NONE of your concern!!!!). I also know that friend of my girlfriend, and my girlfriend told me some nasty things about the relationship she is in, that I wished I was never told. Because it has created some images in my head, that has ruined the way I see that girl now. And the worst part is, that my girlfriend doesn't ******* see the logic here! SERIOUSLY! OF COURSE I don't want to hear about other people's sexlife! Of course I don't want to include sex in everything I do in life, and talk openly about that ****... WTF? My girlfriend sees sex as half of the reason she wants a relationship. SERIOUSLY? HALF OF THE REASON? MY DICK IN HER PUSSY BEING HALF OF THE REASON SHE'S WITH ME?!? This can't be normal. This is a bad addiction!! This is seriously someone who's gone completely out of their mind.
To make matters worse, what happened next? I walk somewhere, and I hear the students I am studying with talk VERY loud and openly about personal sexual experiences. Something I have never heard them talk about before. And now suddenly they talk about it unshamefully. As if they have NOTHING to hide. Coincidencally on the same day, I had this argument with my girlfriend? I don't know... Everywhere I go, people don't see the problem. People are less and less likely to see the private and sensitiveness of the topic. One of the students, as I also noticed, had a sign on his door reading "The pussy king". Not even a thought striked my head before I removed that label from his door. At least I did something...
To cut things short, it's like I have ended up in a world that is basically just a backstage to a studio where porn is recorded.
People are nothing more than sex-objects. They have no pride. They don't see themselves as useful human beings. Only sexobjects seeking to be fucked. THAT'S the world we live in. I was really shocked when my girlfriend even told me, that in her previous relationship, she used to **** FOUR times a day. FOUR TIMES?!? WHAT IS THIS? You're not even a human being, if you **** four times a day!! If you seriously have sex four times a day, there will be absolutely no time to gain any feelings, to gain any sense of romance, any sense of peace of mind and... love. Nope... You'll just be waiting for your next fix. Kissing... which to me is a very important thing that comes with the affection of a relationship... becomes NOTHING but a foreplay to sex. Everytime. Touching. Just a sweet gentle touch of kindness, an innocent yet loving kiss, a hug, a movie to watch, sitting under the stars and talking about life... No time for that, because you're just a bunch of ******* useless horny rabbits waiting for your next sexfix. Love is dead. Love is officially dead in this world. Even worse are those fools who call it "making love" to have sex. There's nothing but sexual pleasure in sex. It's lust, and basically just porn coming to life. Especially if you can't go even 6 hours without needing another sexfix. Who the **** are you even? NO ONE!
Even worse is it, for those who cannot acknowledge they have a problem... Like my girlfriend. SHE HAS A HUGE ******* PROBLEM. And she says I AM the one with the problem? Look at yourself? You're addicted to something as silly as me putting my dick in your pussy. And even doing so when I wake up, before I go to school, when I come home from school, and when we go to bed? And you don't see that as a distraction? Let me tell you one thing, you are SO DISTRACTED in your mind, you can't even think, if THAT'S how you want it!! You need to chill the **** down, get that sex distraction off your mind, and realize that life actually is about other things. That relationships are actually NOT about sexual pleasure AT ALL. ...People can learn to masturbate... It's the most simple way to dealing with your own sexual issues...
What's the problem with keeping your sexual thoughts to yourself? Not sharing them with others? Masturbate when you have to? And then simply keeping all of that separated from love, friendships, and basically social life?
So here am I... Saying we should stop having sex completely, right? Well, according to an utopian world, yes, that's what I am saying. But I am not expecting this world to be perfect. All I am expecting is for people to have SOME SORT OF self-respect and privacy-understanding to keep their sex-things off from everyday-use. Letting it be something they occationally bring up descreetly under very specific and relevant circumstances. All I am asking is for people to see, that sex is nothing special. That sex is overused, exagerrated, and needs to stop being seen as a godlike thing. It's just penis in vagina. People who care sooo much about that are really disgusting.
And PLEASE don't tell me to seek a place with asexual people. I am not even asexual myself, and I don't want to look for categorized 'special' people, to fit in with others. I think I have a VERY good reason to expect people to stop being so ******* sexual in general!!! I am not the one with the problem. This world we live in has the problem. Period.
@ZACHZACH,
It doesn't sound like you are with the right person.
Maybe if you end this relationship, and find someone less sexual, you will be happier.
@maxdancona,
I want to keep the question about my relationship out of this topic. I am going to stay with her despite the issues. But I am really craving for some acknowledgement of some people who can actually see that this world has a big problem in general. Just someone to reach out and say "Well said, you're so ******* right about how stupid this sexual world is!" Thank you...
@ZACHZACH,
Well said, you're so ******* right about how stupid this sexual world is!
I'm not spoofing you; you do raise some fair points. How much of it is socially-derived and how much of it is due to personal psychology (or even physiology) is anyone's guess. Certainly Madison Avenue and Hollywood have done much to shape people's expectations. In addition, there seems to be a cultural movement where spilling one's gut, removing all sense of modesty, and publicizing what used be considered a realm of privacy has become the norm.
I have no practical advice for you, other than to suggest that you console yourself with the knowledge that others have noticed much of what you see in the particular human activity, from the Stoics to Mark Twain and beyond.
Michel de Montaigne wrote:There is no pleasure to me without communication: there is not so much as a sprightly thought comes into my mind that it does not grieve me to have produced alone, and that I have no one to tell it to.
@ZACHZACH,
Zach
The “world” that you are now in IS hypersexed (college campus). Young men and women away from home often act out in extreme ways. Some campuses have a reputation for being a party school, and some young students seek that out.
Perhaps you should transfer to another school, a more conservative one, where sexual activity is not so public or a matter of focus.
Your GF will not stay with you if you don’t match her sex drive, unrealistically or not. Time for you to find a gal whose level for sexual expression is more compatible to yours.
I'm not spoofing you either, there is a lot of inappropriate promotion of sex in the world today.
But, I would like to bring some balance to what you've said.
What what I gather, you are a member of a very specific age group. Can I assume college?
If so, you're in a gathering of people who are all basically of the same age. These people are (a) At the beginning of a humans near prime reproductive age, (b) In close proximity to each other, or with access through each other to reach a larger group also at their zenith of fecundity, and (c) are because of too much to go into here, at an age where they are easily swayed.
All 3 of these are apparant in your writing. Not a criticism, I'm simply writing about what I'm seeing.
When you say "THE WORLD" You're in reality talking about a limited segment of the population that you're currently immersed in. A populatin in todays culture who is off on their own, making their own decisions for the first time, no longer bound by parental restrictions. Sure, most people push parental boundaries while still under their roof. These are now people acting as their own agent, mostly for the first time.
I'm not going to here put a label on their actions. I'll just leave it at the reality when first learning your ways around a new culture that had been heretofore forbidden, unknown, and unexperienced. Extremes will happen. Mistakes will be made. But also many positive things will happen. For the individual, and none of your personal business.
The thing is my friend, sex is an extremely strong imperative in most human being.
Getting away for a moment from your view of what constitutes "THE WORLD" and looking at the adult consenual population as a whole, sex is an extremely complicated thing.
It's not just some sort of "slimy exchange" (an image I could have done without).
In reality, there are times/moments in a relationship where sex is indeed everything. It can be an extremely strong bonding experience between people. It creates and indivisble "Us" that causes us to withstand together circumstances we could never have handled as an individual. Honestly? Where you stand right now, I can't expect you to begin to understand that. That's fine. But you need to know it is there, and exists outside of your current realm of experience.
That said, sex in the actual world is for many reasons. It is for a combinations and variations of these reasons, where the interplay and levels are constantly adjusting.
Sex can be for fun, and for responsible consenting people, whether it's in the context of a committed partnership to a one night stand with a stranger, there is nothing wrong with that.
Included in "fun sex", it's a great physcial and emotional tension reliever.
But there's the thing, "fun sex" can also be happening simultaneously with bonding sex, security/bargaining sex, and many other types. Sex doesn't happen in a vacuum. Kissing is not alway foreplay. Sometimes it's pleasurable, other times it's "just something to do".
Available porn to the general public is more widespread than at any other time in human history. That's a huge topic I'm not prepared to discuss here.
But, the majority of people realize, or come to realize, that what goes on in porn videos isn't reality, it's just a performace by people being paid.
I would relate it to watching one of the Fast and Furious movies. It's fun and exciting, but you know it isn't what's going on day to day.
In your case, you're judging "THE WORLD" by your experience with a young woman you've been seeing 3 months, her friend, and what your immediate experiences are.
Broaden your horizons. People of all ages, and all types have sex. Next time you go to a place where the population in general gathers frequently, like a grocery store, look around you. With some exceptions of course, All these people have sex. From the 65 year old woman checking to see that none of the eggs in the carton are cracked, to the perfectly ordinary looking bald guy with a paunch and glasses, to a gym ripped guy buying protein powder.
And there is no way for you to tell who is having the "best" sex, and who is pretending.
Just a side note. If you don't want others to bring up your relationship at the moment, don't tell us about it.
You would have gotten your point across just as well, better even, leaving out the woman you've had sex with twice, her friend, and anyone else you had personal contact with.
I know you needed to get that off your chest, but if you bring it up, it's fair game to be discussed.
It sounds like your girlfriend is in a bad relationship. Tell her to get out of it right away.
She wants a sexual relationship and you want to scream at the world.
She needs to say goodbye to you and leave you in the dust.
I don't think there is too much emphasis on sex, just it is misapplied through distortion by media and by unrealistic expectations.
@ZACHZACH,
Quote:I want to keep the question about my relationship out of this topic.... [I want] Just someone to reach out and say 'Well said, you're so ******* right about how stupid this sexual world is!'
I have some news for you. You have control over your own sex life (which you don't seem very happy about). You don't have the right to control the sex lives of other people.
I happen to like sex a lot. However I won't judge you. You have the right to the life that you find meaningful to you. But, so do I. I would be pretty miserable in a romantic relationship with an asexual person. I wouldn't ever put myself in that situation. That doesn't meant that I can't accept people who are different than me as human beings.
How about I accept you as a human being and you do the same? If you are upset about your own sex life, then I can empathize with you and try to be helpful.
If you are upset about other people's sex lives, sorry but it's your problem, not theirs.
@ZACHZACH,
Quote:Oh my ******* god, I can't describe my anger right now!! Just had a long argument with my girlfriend about the concept of sex. This girl is absolutely out of her mind. She says she needs sex, like as if it's a need. As if it's a scandal, that we have only had sex two times, out of those three months we have stayed together. Yes, we have had sex two times.
1. Is your girlfriend really being unreasonable?
2. No, your girlfriend is
not out of her mind.
3. If you and your girlfriend are not compatible, then maybe she is not the person for you.
Quote:I agreed to do it out of curiousity. And it was nothing! Just penis in pussy, and a lot of slimy stuff, so what? It was NOT a loving activity... Useless... And we have been having amazing times together since anyways, with lots of affection, and no talking of sex.
1. It sounds like the very thought of having sex is repulsive to you.
2. It's sounds like having sex grosses you out.
3. It sounds like you don't get any joy or any pleasure out of having sex.
4. It sounds like that it's not even (possible) for you to get any joy or pleasure in having sex.
@edgarblythe,
I believe there's to much emphasis on the emphasis of sex.
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