Does age determine a woman's physical attractiveness/looks?

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I've been hearing this debate all over the internet about how younger women age 18-25 are sought after by all men of all ages and such. I've read numerous threads online about how they get free drinks, dates, offers, and just live a perfect life based on youth and that women over 30 are nor as attractive and desirable.

This has made me view myself as an ugly exception and rather worthless because I'm in the quote on quote "desirable age group" (21) and guys generally never talk to me unless they're high, drunk, or dared by their friends. Yes, I'm young and have a firm body but my face isn't conventionally attractive or beautiful.

I was bullied relentlessly from 5th-9th grade for my looks. As a result, I developed severe social anxiety because of daily verbal harassment and depression because I loathed how society only valued girls and women SOLELY by their looks while men can be ugly and still live a carefree life.

Social life at college is depressing, guys only wanting to have casual sex but dump me. Assuming I'm easy because I walk with my head down minding my business and girls shunning me because of the acne on my face. Evey time I've tried to initiate conversations during group projects, clubs, and activities, they look at me as if I'm a homeless person begging them for money.

I'd still like to think that most men wouldn't judge a woman's attractiveness by age because that would imply that youth makes a woman attractive and not traits like clear smooth skin, facial symmetry, hair, proportion/balance, and body type. I clearly don't fit this category despite being young.

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[+3] - hightor - 01/10/2020When you leave academia, enter the workforce, and engage in constructive work surrounded by colleagues, you can begin to build a more positive self-image based on your accomplishments and overcome...

@WestCoast,

1. To answer the scientific question... there is no debate. There is scientific data that supports the fact that women 18-25 are more attractive. Women also judge men based on age, men's attractiveness peaks a little later.

2. College life is generally depressing for many of us. I was an engineering student, socially awkward with a stuttering problem and generally invisible to women accept for a couple that wanted help from homework (all women say they are attracted to intelligence, most of them are lying).

3. For many people, things get much better after college. For me, I got much more confident out of college. I started working and developing interests and met women who shared those interests.

In college, I became involved in the Physics club... and ended up running the club for about a year and a half. It didn't help me with dating ... but it did give me social connections and made college a little more bearable.

My advice is to take every opportunity to be in social situations, and practice talking with people until you find a group of people who will accept you. You will meet a lot of assholes in college... you can ignore them. If you keep reaching out you may find a group of people of people you get and can accept.

1 Reply

@maxdancona,

Why specifically ages 18-25? That would imply that every woman in this age group is facially pretty and attractive with no physical or body flaws. It's not like girls magically become attractive after becoming legal age. My 13-19 year old self would've laughed at this considering the bullying I endured then.

I had a 32 year old female therapist that would turn more heads than I did in as a teenage girl anytime we would occasionally take strolls outside of the building and she's very attractive. Even my dad would comment on how beautiful she was.

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@WestCoast,

Quote:

Why specifically ages 18-25? That would imply that every woman in this age group is facially pretty and attractive with no physical or body flaws.

Are you asking about statistics? I am not sure if you want a lesson in mathematics. I cold also dive into the likely evolutionary reason that women in their early twenties are particularly attractive as a sexual partner; I will if you ask.

Of course there are many factors that go into physical attractiveness-- weight, height, breast size, musculature, the distance between eyes. Some of these are culturally specific, others seem to be mostly universal.

If you have group A of 100 women aged 19 - 24, and group B of age 30 - 25.... on average the women of group A will be judged to be significantly more attractive than the women in group B. This doesn't mean that some women of group B won't be judged to be more attractive than her younger counterpart. The same experiment can be done with men (with similar results).

This is reality. It isn't fair.

I am someone who has never been judged to be particularly attractive. The older I get, the less this matters.

I have several serious romantic relationships over the years, a couple have been marvelous. I don't need to attract everyone, it is enough to attract that one person who thinks I am wonderful. That is what matters.

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Westcoast
I dont know if you have been fed the “Kardashian Krap” from Hollywood, but girls 18 -25 are not necessarily the most attractive they will ever be. Also not the most mature. (Maybe the most fertile but that’s another discussion)

Instead of focusing on others, spend some time on yourself. Join a yoga class. That will help you with body awareness and posture. See your Dr about the acne. There’s no reason why in this day and age anyone has to go thru that. Get a new haircut.

Don’t assume these girls are happy and carefree at school. They are all just as scared and uncomfortable as you are, but they hide it behind makeup and a giggle. Don’t let them intimidate you.

BTW: Personally, I don’t think women “ bloom” till after 40. So you’ve got a ling ways to go!

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@PUNKEY,

There is tons of evidence that in fact, women 18-25 as a group are more attractive than women who are older.

There is scientific research saying that woman's faces become less attractive in middle age (this is a scientific finding) and their is both scientific research and analysis from dating sites that says that the attractiveness of women peak in their late teens/early twenties. There are several articles describing this, and a ncbi study whichi is unfortunately behind a paywall. see https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/15/style/dating-apps-online-men-women-age.html

It seems I may have been wrong in my claim that there was a similar sharp peak for men.

You can argue about how the world should be... but the data doesn't care. Facts are facts and reality is reality.

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@PUNKEY,

PUNKEY wrote:

girls 18 -25 are not necessarily the most attractive they will ever be. Also not the most mature. (Maybe the most fertile but that’s another discussion)

I don't think it's a different discussion. A woman's sexual attractiveness is directly related to her perceived fertility. And in most cases that peaks before age 25.

A man's sexual attractiveness is directly related to his wealth (and perhaps status), as that has the greatest impact on how well his offspring fare in life.

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@oralloy,

You are probably right.

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I've noticed that no one who has bothered to respond to WestCoast's OP has expressed any sympathy to her for the years she experienced intense bullying in school -- bullying that has left an emotional scar in her life. But, frankly, I'm not surprised. Sad.

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@wmwcjr,

wmwcjr wrote:

I've noticed that no one who has bothered to respond to WestCoast's OP has expressed any sympathy to her for the years she experienced intense bullying in school -- bullying that has left an emotional scar in her life. But, frankly, I'm not surprised. Sad.

This would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic.

You are attacking people because (in your words) not one "has expressed any sympathy for her... [blah blah blah" instead of just expressing sympathy for her yourself. This is so typical of Able2know.

Why don't you do that now? I did.

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@wmwcjr,

I've already come to accept that I'm not physically attractive because of my acne. I actually have PCOS which affects my appearance and fertility so I don't fit into the superficial category of fertile attractive women aged 18-25 despite being thin. Women are mostly valued for their looks and appearance compared to men regardless of their personality, intelligence, or skills. Ages 14-20 were the most traumatic years of my life so I still believe that any girl can be pretty or 'ugly' at any age. I clearly was and still am. If 18 wasn't the legal age, men would clearly go lower but they use ages '18-25' to be politically correct.

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@maxdancona,

I did express sympathy to her. In a PM. In other words, before you posted this last post of yours in this thread.

As far as attacking people is concerned, you're rather good at that yourself. In fact, you're quite skilled at it. Certainly more than I am. It's the A2K norm.

I'm really not a part of A2K anymore. I hadn't posted at all since last summer. I was trying to wean myself off of it. Although I had resolved to stop posting here, I'd still come to the website out of curiosity to see who was saying what to whom. For example, I found the most recent "soap opera" type exchange between you and glitterbag to be quite entertaining. My mistake! I never should have come here at all.

This is your playground, not mine. Your sandbox, if you will. A sandbox that is a waste of time. A sandbox that never will have any sort of impact in the real world. So, go play with all your friends; and don't worry. I won't have any part of it. I regret I ever had a part of this "community." I got very little from it.

Oh, by the way, A2K has provided a sort of education for me. I've seen just how close-minded, intolerant, mindless, self-righteous and foolish most people on the political left are. I didn't feel this way as recently as two years ago! Unless Trump happens to blow it, I'm afraid you and your fellow ideologues here at A2K are going to be quite distressed by the election results in November. If the elections were held today, the political left in this country would receive a thrashing at the polls that would even amaze you.

So, go play in your sandbox. maxdancona. Have fun with your friends.

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@oralloy,

oralloy wrote:

PUNKEY wrote:
girls 18 -25 are not necessarily the most attractive they will ever be. Also not the most mature. (Maybe the most fertile but that’s another discussion)

I don't think it's a different discussion. A woman's sexual attractiveness is directly related to her perceived fertility. And in most cases that peaks before age 25.

A man's sexual attractiveness is directly related to his wealth (and perhaps status), as that has the greatest impact on how well his offspring fare in life.

I disagree with this - I earned (and still do ) much more than my husband.

Everyone is different - so it depends on the individual - punkey is pulling this down to the basic survival instinct. Since most of us humans are much more evolved and many women can take care of themselves this does not necessarily apply.

If it did - I would have married the man that told me on a date, I can provide you a life where you never have to worry about money - this after he spent a fortune dining and wining me. And all I could think was you are an a$$ I can take care of myself I don't need you to provide for me.

In that - some men are attracted to younger women and some are attracted to older women. Did you know there is actually porn with old ladies? Yep - that wouldn't happen if there are men that are not attracted to it.

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@WestCoast,

WestCoast wrote:

I've already come to accept that I'm not physically attractive because of my acne. I actually have PCOS which affects my appearance and fertility so I don't fit into the superficial category of fertile attractive women aged 18-25 despite being thin. Women are mostly valued for their looks and appearance compared to men regardless of their personality, intelligence, or skills. Ages 14-20 were the most traumatic years of my life so I still believe that any girl can be pretty or 'ugly' at any age. I clearly was and still am. If 18 wasn't the legal age, men would clearly go lower but they use ages '18-25' to be politically correct.

I think you need to hang with other men/people - many people are not so vain as to only look at your surface.

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@Linkat,

Easier said than done when your school peers, strangers, cashiers, and everyone treating you like a filthy diseased infested creep because of acne and PCOS physical symptoms. These things are out of my control and despite my confidence, politeness, and hygiene/grooming, I'm treated and looked at like a grotesque monster.

I've noticed that older women aren't judged and shunned for their appearances in public compared to younger girls and women because our looks are dissected the moment we step outside. My mom has many physical flaws too but because she's a much older adult and parent, nobody cares.

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@WestCoast,

WestCoast wrote:

... My mom has many physical flaws too but because she's a much older adult and parent, nobody cares.

Oh, are you even reading what you're writing here? Please, at the absolute minimum in your life, don't tear down others. You say you don't feel people find you attractive? Tearing down others is pretty damned unattractive.

BTW, wait till you're 40 and become invisible.

In the meantime, I'm sorry for what's happening to you. I know it sucks. The judgment of the people in school is truly meaningless. You may not feel that way right now. But it is.

Time passes. Things change. I went to Jr High and HS with a truly beautiful woman, Neva. The guys ALL thought she was gorgeous (they were right). She's still a beautiful woman. Last year, we went to our 40th reunion, and she confessed that she always felt like an outsider at school, and envied others. She felt useless and was depressed. Her?

Yep, her.

Your class and your peer group may very well have someone like that, and you don't even know it. You don't have to wait 4 decades to realize that others who seem better-looking and more confident may not really be so. And to realize that the opinions of a bunch of a folks who aren't thinking beyond the ends of their noses don't amount to a hill of beans.

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@jespah,

I'm already invisible and have been from the beginning of puberty except for name calling, harassment, and public humiliation. And what's wrong with acknowledging that people are much nicer and respectful to my mom despite her physical flaws and aging?

Society doesn't judge older women by their physical flaws compared to their younger counterparts. I can't step outside without people asking why my skin is bad, handing me my change on the counter instead of my hands, or asking why I look 13 instead of 19-21. My mom doesn't struggle in this regard.

Guys of all ages my age are disrespectful to me in the classroom, workplace, shopping centers, formal events because my skin is covered in acne and they hate that they can't objectify me.

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@WestCoast,

WestCoast wrote:

Easier said than done when your school peers, strangers, cashiers, and everyone treating you like a filthy diseased infested creep because of acne and PCOS physical symptoms. These things are out of my control and despite my confidence, politeness, and hygiene/grooming, I'm treated and looked at like a grotesque monster.

I've noticed that older women aren't judged and shunned for their appearances in public compared to younger girls and women because our looks are dissected the moment we step outside. My mom has many physical flaws too but because she's a much older adult and parent, nobody cares.

You are right it is easier said than done - but you do have a choice. You can let them get you down or not. You know who you are and what sort of person you are - there are other people out there as well that are likely being treated poorly because they do not fit the mold of what someone deems attractive. Take a stand - reach out to these other people - join something you are interested in - when others get to know who you are truly it will change. And yes, as you get a bit older (I am talking out of your teens) this does change.

And it is not only just how you look, but in some cases what you allow others do to you - I remember my daughter telling me in middle school she was talking to this "nerdy" type kid when this other boy kind of made a comment about them - this "nerdy" boy made reference to how they treat kids like them. Now my daughter is what most people would consider attractive but for some reason (perhaps because she didn't conform to the "norm") she wasn't a "cool" kid. But she was the first one to step up for someone else when she saw someone being mistreated (or bullied).

She never realized she was popular - in the real sense of popular in that others really liked her. I found out her birthday party when I overheard the other party goers all talking how they knew my daughter always had their back.

It is important that you find these "friends" - the important ones - not the superficial ones. Is it easy --- NO. But it is damn well worth it and you are worth it as well.

I am in my early 50s and I would say in the past 5 years I have been approached by men - not often - maybe because I am an old fart -- or maybe because of my wedding ring because in those cases I was not wearing it. But yeah about my age find me attractive unlikely a 20 year would but then again I would think he was kid and too immature so I would not have an attraction to him.

1 Reply

@Linkat,

Quote:

It is important that you find these "friends" - the important ones - not the superficial ones. Is it easy --- NO. But it is damn well worth it and you are worth it as well.

Word.

Finding a small group of friends who accept you for who you are is the secret to happiness (at least in my experience). The people who get you are out there... of course it is a two way street. You have to open up to them and accept them as well.

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@maxdancona,

I put that Linkat person on ignore.

Second, I already have a small group of friends that accept me as I am despite my hideous acne and physical symptoms caused from PCOS.

I'm just ******* tired of the blatant disrespect and unfair treatment I receive from outsiders because of my looks. Clothing/grocery shopping is always a depressing experience because I have to deal with rude long stares, customers and strangers treating me like a grotesque monster, and fellow young people approaching me in school/venues while jokingly saying 'my friend wants to date you'. I'm surprised I haven't resorted to cutting because I hate going outside besides from school.

The worst part is knowing that if I looked like a stereotypical 'hot woman in her 20s' with clear perfect skin, people would treat me like a valuable human being. Unfortunately for younger girls and women, our looks play a large factor on how we're judged and treated by others.

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