Do I meet my ex or not?

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My ex reached out to me today to tell me he only wants to meet to give me back some of my things (which I can't believe is anything more than 1 undergarment) and there is no hidden agenda. In fact he says that he is now in another committed relationship and "very happy" and he assumes I know who it is just like he put together who I am probably now with - he says Facebook made it clear who we are each with now (but other than a new friend for each of us there are no pics, etc.). I've guessed he hooked up with a woman we both knew for some time which makes it kind of weird and he waited no time at all to be with her (he indicates that he ran into her at a friend's party a few days after we broke up).
Here are some other facts(factors): I broke up with him; we were together for about 7 years; I did start dating after our breakup and have found a new relationship but not sure where it will go yet; I've not communicated with my ex almost at all despite him sending me some texts and emails over the last few months including the one in which he said he was out with the same woman several times but he's not sure she is for him; he says in his text today that it is clear I want no communication with him at all, yet his text today is to meet me today or tomorrow to exchange items (but he never asks for his stuff some of which I still have).
I now blocked him from Facebook but do I meet him or just say drop off the things in my mailbox? The latter seems somewhat harsh given he wasn't all bad (but he did mistreat me towards the end of the relationship) and I have (almost) no feelings for him.

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Type: Discussion • Score: 7 • Views: 429 • Replies: 11

[+3] - jespah - 12/30/2019All of this is just a ploy to see you. Why bother, particularly as you've moved on and you don't even miss the stuff he's still got? Mail him his stuff and wash your hands of it.

@awkwardcase,

What do you want to do? Do you want to face him or not? Would it bother you or inconvenience you in anyone to meet him?

You are in control - if you do not have any interest in meeting him, then say thank you I appreciate you getting my stuff back to me, but it would be tough for me to meet you right now, could you just drop it in my mailbox instead?

You don't have to give a reason why it is difficult - whether it be you just don't want to see him or you are busy.

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@awkwardcase,

Why bother? You're under no obligation to help him carry out this plan. If you don't want anything returned to you just let it go.

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@awkwardcase,

Since you broke up with him and he treated you badly towards the end, I would suggest to not meet him. He can send you whatever he's got and since you haven't missed anything, you might as well tell him to toss it.
I am glad you blocked him on your fb account, he is clearly checking it and I would block him on your phone as well. You've moved on and this is all that counts....

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@awkwardcase,

awkwardcase wrote:

My ex reached out to me today to tell me he only wants to meet to give me back some of my stuff.
Tell him to leave it on your porch or somewhere accessible and don’t meet him in person. Or just forget it completely.There’s no need for it. You can get along without whatever items which were left and vice versa. It’s just an excuse.
...
he did mistreat me towards the end of the relationship) and I have (almost) no feelings for him.

All the more reason to avoid contact with him. You set into motion an end to contact. Stick with that plan. You don’t need to worry about his ego or feelings being hurt. Don’t be manipulated.

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@awkwardcase,

All of this is just a ploy to see you.

Why bother, particularly as you've moved on and you don't even miss the stuff he's still got?

Mail him his stuff and wash your hands of it.

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@awkwardcase,

Yeah, what Jespah said.

Anything less is insufficient. Anything more is indulgent.

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@Glennn,

Ditto what Jespah, Glennn and Ragman said....don't meet up.

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@awkwardcase,

Sounds like HE may want closure on the relationship or the breakup.

Your choice if you want to meet him. Just be sure it’s in a public place where you can leave if things get uncomfortable.

You know him best. What do you think his motive is?

Don’t feel bad if you decline the meeting. It sounds like you are moving forward anyway and really don’t need this backward distraction.

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So I replied that I was booked and couldn't meet. Then today he sent me a friend request via Facebook (since I unfriended him recently) and sent me a text saying, "Beautiful new pic and take care of yourself". I updated my profile pic last night.
Do you think I can put this behind me now?

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@awkwardcase,

Your choice here. What do you want your peace of mind to be like. This is a New Year. Celebrate your new life looking forward. Good luck.

Do I meet my ex or not?

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