Mon 23 Dec, 2019 07:49 am
Let me start off by saying that some of you may not like the content of this question but I'm torn as to what to do.
I'm a 50 year old married male. Been married for almost 10 years. My wife and I get along but sex only happens about once every multiple months. I'll bet we've only had sex twice in the past 6 months. Other than that we seem to manage to get along well. I started working for a company a little more than a year ago. In trying to meet the new employees I managed to become friendly with a few people. There was one girl who I would casually speak to in passing. She's 42 years old. If she'd walk by my truck in the parking lot we'd wave and that was it. We sat on opposite ends of the floor so we rarely ever saw each other. The company has Skype and every morning our manager would start a group chat so the employees could report in on their day. I'm not exactly sure how it began but me and this one girl started having private chats. Yes, they were all company or job related. Nothing out of the ordinary. Until one Fri before the work day ended she sent me her number to say, "Hit me up some time." I wasn't sure how to respond to that so I actually waited until Sun afternoon to text here just to say Hi. We began texting and I found out that she was in a not so great relationship with a guy who apparently had cheated on her some time ago. They live together and she can't put him out because he lives there and receives mail so she'd actually have to go through the eviction process. Bottom line, he won't leave. I have a master's in counseling so I offered her some advice even though that's not the line of work we're in. Anyway, one thing lead to another and our conversations turned sexual. We have discussed our relationships and how it would be nice if we hooked up. She even mentioned that this would be our secret from our mates. Some sexual pics were passed, no faces of course. But some of the pics she sent me appear to be screenshots from porn sites. Some pics of her sitting in her car or at her desk were the safe ones and I even sent her a few pics of me in suits on Sunday at church. Again, there were some very provocative ones too. Of all the sexy ones she sent I will probably say that only 1 was actually of her.
She now works from home and has mentioned me coming to her house while her guy wasn't home one morning. However, she never has given me her address. I've even offered for her to come to my place when I was home alone and even gave her my address. Yet, she never comes. There was one Sat night when she hit me up to say she was on my side of town going to visit her cousin so I made an excuse to get out of the house. I actually started a little argument with the wife in order to storm out for a little while. Me and this girl text a few times but she would never tell me where she was. All she would say was that she was at the mall by my house. Then all of a sudden she stopped texting. I waited and waited and waited but there was never a reply. The next day she told me that her boyfriend had showed up at her cousin's place. So that meant to me she had no plans to meet me and her bf knew where she was going.
After that night our texts seems to gradually slow down until she told me that she thought her boyfriend had put a tracking device or some sort of software on her hone. So we haven't text in a few weeks. Even on the company Skype she'l say something like, "I can't wait to come back into the office." Or she'll ask me when my lunch or break is. I guess I'm looking at it from the standpoint of you have a boyfriend and I have a wife and we're both lacking in our relationships. Neither of us were talking about actually leaving our relationships so we could be together but just hook up and have some fun. But now I'm thinking this girl was probably playing me all the while. There were even times when she'd send me a screen shot to a very ritzy hotel/golf resort in our city and would say something like, "It would really be nice to spend the night there." Once she even mentioned that she's a high class chic so my thinking is that me getting a room at the Motel 6, or even Courtyard would not live up to her standards. She's an attractive girl but not a drop dead girl like guys were beating down her door. Lately I've even been avoiding her on Skype. It use to be that every morning she'd send me a "Good Morning" text. Those have even stopped. I guess because she says her boyfriend is tracking her phone.
My question is this. Is/was she playing me just for her own little excitement or was there ever the possibility of us hooking up and now the boyfriend is on to her? Yes, we still communicate and she'll make some sly comments but nothing more about us meeting up or anything like that. What do you think?
What's your wife's opinion?
what difference does it make? In either case - do you plan on starting an affair with this woman? If you do not (which is highly suggested) then it really doesn't matter because you should not care.
Give the attention to your marriage that you are giving to pondering over this woman.
She’s pulling your chain.
This girl is a pr$ck tease.
You most likely aren’t the only one she’s playing along.
Get into couples counseling with your wife. The lack of intimacy is one reason you are so vulnerable to outside insincere teasing.
You are willing to pick a fight with your wife so you can follow up on this tease. That was a glaring revelation on your part.