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Sun 22 Dec, 2019 10:52 am
Hi everyone.
Here goes...So I have just discovered my partner of 21 years has been cheating with somebody, a person we both know and a person that I welcomed in to our home.
Apparently they have been talking on snapchat for a few months and this progressed to a physical relationship about 3 weeks ago.
I was unfortunate enough to read the snapchat messages that they had been sending to each other and I was devastated by this.
So, after 21 years together we may have slipped in to some bad habits, we both work long hours and sometimes i would be tired and sometimes she would be tired so we may not have always had quality time together but really I never once thought we were not happy.
It’s painful, but a pain I can’t describe, she seems remorseful, but in all honesty I no longer believe a word she is saying it even though it may be the truth,my brain will not allow me to believe her.
I know I only found out 3 days ago and possibly things may change but I guess my question is how do I leave the person I love more than anything.
With have a son he is 18 years old and I hate the thought of him being upset but he is a strong lad who will be ok,we will still have the strong relationship we have now.
We always said it was us 2 against the world and we had so many plans for our future, travelling and just spending really nice times together, it’s difficult to put in to words but we had so many plans.
But right now I feel I need to leave her and I’m so scared for the future, not just mine but hers as well, I really don’t want to hurt her but i see no other options.
I can no longer look in her eyes, if I do I just see deceit and lies and it hurts so much.
How did you leave the person you loved?
Thank you If you got this far, I know I will get over this I just don’t know how long it will take.
Best wishes
T
You sound like you really don’t WANT to, but you feel you NEED to.
Why?
If this is all worth anything, get couples counseling.
@Whisson1975,
Find the time and energy to talk. Having a heart-to-heart should be without accusations and judgements. If you can’t do that yourselves, then do it very soon with a counselor you’re both comfortable with.
If you can’t make some sort of progress, then there may be no choice but to temporarily Sparta or until things cool off where a dialogue is constructive. She should give up the relationship and agree t o counseling, however.
Thank you for the response.
We are talking, but..and maybe it’s just my imagination when I look in to her eyes I no longer see the same beautiful woman I have been with for last 21 years.
If for any reason she had wanted to end our relationship, I could understand that, we had always talked openly about things like this and we would could have worked through it or separated on good terms as friends.
Who knows what the future holds, I know I don’t.
Have a merry Christmas.
T.
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