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Thu 2 Jun, 2005 09:37 am
Sages of A2K,
I need your feedback. I have a terrible idea. For a new musical.
Some time ago I saw an ad on TV for a musical based on the work of Billy Joel, feauturing some dude executing a flying kick in slow motion to that one song: "If that's moving up then I'm moving out!"
It all looked pretty gay.
So of course I thought: I can do better. I mean, much worse.
Dig this...A musical based on the work of 90s jam-rock superstars
THE SPIN DOCTORS
That's right, the guys who wrote "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong," "Two Princes," (and if you--want to buy me flowers--just go ahead now), and "Jimmy Olsen's Blues," (I've got a pocket full of Kyrptonite).
Absolutey awful, right?
To be more precise, the musical will be based on their "breakthrough" album, "Pocket Full of Kryptonite." And since there are only three songs from that album I know, the musical will feature ONLY these three songs, the same songs mentioned above.
The story goes like this: Little Miss Can't Be Wrong meets two princes, creating a sordid love triangle. Until, that is, Jimmy Olsen comes along and destroys both princes with a pocket full of kyrptonite. Jimmy and LMCBW live happily ever after. (I stayed up all night last night plotting this storyline).
Actually, there will be five songs. An overture, essentially a medley of "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong," "Two Princes," and "Jimmy Olsen's Blues." Then the full versions of each song, and then a finale, which will be a reprise of the overture.
The standard musical is 90 minutes long, therefore all five songs will have to be exactly 18 minutes long. Each song will feature a guitar solo, a drum solo, even a bass solo, and then an extended improvisational jam.
I will have to hire incredibly fit actors, capable of dancing for this long, and one cool dude who can do flying kicks for eighteen minutes straight.
There will be one, fifteen minute intermission, during which I will serve "Good N' Plenty" and tequila.
After the show, original cast recordings of the show will be sold, and trust me, they will be far better than the original Spin Doctors album.
I'm happy to report that I have already obtained the rights from the Spin Doctors themselves. In fact, the band offered to play live for the show, for only 5% of the profits, twenty dollars up front for each band member, and some food stamps. I had to decline. I'm sorry, but I've heard bad things about rock star egos. I will hire a local cover band.
So what do y'all think? Any tips, suggestions.
Don't quit yer day job . . .
You mean, my day job managing the offical Spin Doctors fansite?
I think its a great idea.Its so underground its bound to be a hit.They were quite entertaining too.
I'd add some ninjas... you can never go wrong with ninjas.
material girl wrote:I think its a great idea.Its so underground its bound to be a hit.They were quite entertaining too.
Yes. Opening night may be a disaster. The first show will likely be attended by confused tourists and middle-aged professors out to support indie theater. The excruciating extended jams, combined with the tequila and Good N' Plenty will cause much vomitting.
But the second show! Word will get around to ironic music store clerks, and I will make tons of money off of rich hipsters from Williamsburg (Brooklyn) and Wicker Park (Chiacago), depending on where I hold the show. They will find it unbearably hip in such an unselfconsciously hip way.
And I will laugh from catwalks high above.
I don't know how to say this, garg, but I'm not sure this is actually worse than the Billy Joel thing...
If I remember correctly the singer hoped that LMCBW's cigarrettes made her cough.
Perhaps you could have a big death scene in your cool stage show.
You could slow the music down and make it all sad like they did on the Brady Bunch when one of the kids had to confess to doing something horrible like taking Alice for granted.
can i play two princess? or at least one of'em?
You could also do a scene where LMCBW goes whoring around rubbing up against some other forgotten 90s musicians trying to get them to write songs about her. It could be a stripper kind of pole dancing thing.
That way you could make three songs out of that one song - the regular, introduction to LMCBW (guitar, bass, drums), the stripper whoring around LMCBW (with brass section) and the taking Alice for granted LMCBW version (on organ or accordian or something - clairanets are good).
i really like your idea gargamel
a few years back when all those stomp type things were popular and the whole bum fight thing was getting started, i envisioned a musical called Bludgeon
you would attach tiny microphines to various parts of peoples bodies and then commence to beat upon them
most people thought i was crazy, but i think it had some real potential
...if bobby mcferrin was an extrovert...
I'm going to have to put some of you on the payroll. We'll make it rich.
Dag: if you can dance for eighteen minutes straight, you're hired.
I have one word for you: rum balls.
(OK, that's two words.)
And cherry cordials.
(I guess that's five words....)
add naked people and fire.
everyone loves to see skin, and fire gets everyone excited.
oh yeah
and add a singing penis
( saw that on a porn~! )
I just wanted to ask why nobody ever followed up on Shewolf's brilliant singing penis idea?
How did I miss this thread? Oh.... that was a class weekend.
The spin doctors were bad, but they were catchy. I think you'll have a hit! <what time is it?>
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