I dont know what to do.

Your child is old enough for a skilled babysitter. This is even if your child is already in day care and both of you are working full time. And it's even if one of you stays at home all day. So hire one, and start with dinner out once every week to 10 days or so. Not to talk about sex, but to reconnect.

Lead this up to a weekend getaway, once you know the sitter well enough to trust him or her and he/she has gotten to know your child well. I am operating under the assumption that you don't have nearby family who would step in -- and even if you do, you shouldn't expect them to be watching your child as often as I am suggesting.

Back to you. Your weekend getaway doesn't have to cost a lot of money if that's an issue. Try a bed and breakfast, something like that. Again, reconnect, and if sex happens, great. If not, then keep talking.

If hiring a sitter that often is out of your budget, then at least consider one once a month to once every six weeks if you can swing it. And spend the off weeks going on walks together, with your child in a stroller or held by the hand. Again, these aren't meant to be fraught conversations. They are meant for you two to reconnect as a couple, not just as your child's parents.

Why? Because your family dynamic has changed. Maybe your husband thinks having sex will tire you or him out and make it harder to take care of your child well. Or maybe he thinks you'll be loud and wake your child/your child (if verbal enough) starts asking difficult questions -- or will in the future.

So reconnect -- I know I keep saying that. What I mean is, remember why you fell in love in the first place. Be playful. Read books and talk about them if that floats your boat, or talk sports or politics or try to figure out what to do on your anniversary. Be the fun, friendly, loving people you always have been -- until your responsibilities started crowding all of that out.

Bring the fun back.