Funniest store slogans in America!

Just When You Thought There Was Nothing Left To Laugh About...
FUNNIEST STORE SLOGANS IN AMERICA!

By AIDEN LOUIS

A radiator repair shop in Ohio proclaims itself "A great place to take a leak."

That's just one of the clever slogans Weekly World News brought back after a cross-country trip spent scouting out the funniest business signs in America.

Here's what we found:

*PLASTIC SURGEON IN CALIFORNIA -- "Let Us Pick Your Nose!"

*FUNERAL HOME IN NEVADA -- "Drive Carefully. We'll Wait."

*AUTO DEALERSHIP IN TEXAS -- "The Best Way To Get Back On Your Feet Is To Miss A Car Payment."

*GYNECOLOGIST IN NEW YORK -- "Dr. Jones, At Your Cervix."

*TIRE SHOP IN UTAH --"Invite Us To Your Next Blowout."

*ON AN ELECTRICIAN'S TRUCK IN MONTANA -- "Let Us Remove Your Shorts."

*SACKS 4TH AVENUE IN MANHATTAN --"You Could Shop Here If You Were Poor, But That Would Be Stupid."

*ELECTRONICS WORLD IN FLORIDA -- "You've Got Questions, We've Got Geeks."

*B.B. GUN STORE IN TEXAS --"Keeping Kids Off Your Lawn For 40 Years."

*CONDOM FACTORY IN PENNSYLVANIA -- "Extra long is our specialty."

*PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE IN MAINE -- "Consciousness. That Annoying Time Between Naps."

*SEX THERAPIST'S OFFICE IN NEBRASKA -- "Bisexuality Immediately Doubles Your Chances For A Date."

*SEX CHANGE SURGEON'S OFFICE IN ILLINOIS-- "Eat, Drink and Be Mary."

*COUPLE'S THERAPIST IN NEW JERSEY --"Marriage: Cures Your Fear Of Being Alone."

*LOCAL BREWERY IN GEORGIA -- "Beer Is The Proof God Loves Us And Wants Us To Be Happy."

*SPORTS SHOE STORE IN MICHIGAN -- "Just Buy It, You Tub Of Lard."

*TIRE STORE IN WEST VIRGINIA -- "We Skid You Not."

*PLASTIC SURGEON IN MASSACHUSETTS -- "The Breast Is Yet To Come."

*ELEVATOR OPERATORS' UNION IN CHICAGO -- "We Do It Going Up And Down."

*FINANCIAL ANALYST'S OFFICE IN FLORIDA -- "Bankers Do It With Interest."

*LAWYER'S OFFICE IN OREGON -- "We Do It In Our Briefs!"

*STATE DEPARTMENT OFFICE IN WASHINGTON D.C. -- "Diplomacy Is The Art Of Saying 'Nice Doggie' Until You Find A Rock."

*U.S. MINT IN WASHINGTON D.C. --"Blessed Are the Young, For They Shall Inherit The National Debt."

*MANHOOD ENLARGEMENT SPECIALIST IN VIRGINIA -- "We make mountains out of molehills."

*HOT CHESTNUT VENDOR IN MANHATTAN -- "For toasty nuts, try us."

*TAX ACCOUNTANT IN IDAHO --"Many Happy Returns."

*VACUUM CLEANER SHOP IN VERMONT -- "We Suck!"

*LAWN SERVICE IN VIRGINIA -- "Let Us Kiss Your Grass."