Buffaloes blamed for traffic accidents; cull planned

In the Buffalo Gazette ....

Buffalo to stomp humans and feed them to crocodiles
at 3:02 on May 11, 2005, EST.

DARWIN, Australia (AP) - Buffalo plan to stomp bothersome humans in a northern Australian town and feed them to crocodiles after the so-called master race were blamed for a rash of traffic accidents as a result of them building roads anywhere they please, encroaching on areas where wildlife have always lived, insinuating themselves where they please, and allowing stupid people to drive.

Buffalo said Wednesday nine men were slightly injured after one of their vehicles struck a buffalo crossing on a road in the town of Nhulunbuy on Monday night. What was not said was the fact that two of the nine were on cell-phones at the time of the accident and so could not stop in time, three were legally intoxicated with alcoholic/drug substances and so shouldn't have been behind the wheel in the first place, two were immature idiots speeding like they were in a race with a missile, one was watching his DVD player which some complete moron attached to the console of his tricked-out vehicle, and one was older than dirt with a slow reaction time and unable to properly apply the brakes, considering it takes him an hour just to unlock the car door and get into the vehicle.

Maurice, the buffalo, was ignored completely and left lying on the side of the road.

Millions of humans roam wild around northern Australia, causing unbelievable damage to the environment.

Good one, Heeven!

One question, though: Are buffalo native to Australia?

Don't know, but then it's not really a question of who got there first - wildlife or humans - it's about sharing really and if humans are not preparing to have any "give" whatsoever then we really shouldn't be surprised when we kill off the majority of animals who co-habit the earth, destroy the lands, fuels and atmosphere and then wonder "why is God punishing me?"

Oop, did I just get up on that soapbox. Off I go, outside for a ciggie, do my bit for pollution ....

I totally agree, Heeven. I was just surprised to read that buffalo live in Australia. I actually prefer them to some humans I could name...

Pesky wildlife. Always getting in the way of our cars.

D'artagnan -- I'm not sure whether buffalo are indigenous to Australia (I suspect not). But, if not, they would probably have been brought in from Indonesia or New Guinea as draft animals in the 19th century and the usual occurred -- they escaped from a corral, took to the wild and multiplied. Much the same as with American longhorns in (mainly) Texas. Don't forget, we are not speaking here of bison, but the true buffalo which has been domesticated on the Indian sub-continent for hundreds, if not thousands, of years.

Aha, thanks for the info, Merry Andrew. And here I was thinking of the shaggy beasts I saw in Yellowstone some years ago...

And, here i was thinking the same as D'art re: indigenous to Australia, and now wondering why i didn't know that bison and buffalo were different animals. I've always heard the name interchanged when referring to American Buffalo.


Interesting that this is taking place in DARWIN, Australia. I say we leave it to natural selection.

Yeah, I'm, frankly, not terribly concerned about the decision to cull the herd. If they're coming out onto the highways and causing accidents, that's a tip-off that there's probably an over-population problem. I'm assuming there are no predators that feed on buffalo, which would be the most "natural" solution of the problem. It's natural to get upset when you hear that some wild animals are about to be shot because they've inconvenienced some humans. But there are times when killing a few is for the benefit of the majority of the herd. For example, sometimes a herd needs to be culled to keep it from literally starving to death.

Sure, feed them to the crocs. Next thing you know, more crocs.

If only we could apply that to all animals...

Humans are the stewards of the earth, whether we like the role or not.

So appropriate for your avatar!

Awwww, she noticed me.

Why of course I noticed you, roger. You have a lovely tail.

Speaking of tail...daughter got her permit and has been driving us places over the last few days. Just got back from the store.

On the way home I saw a deer on the side of the road, just standing there. She looked left and saw a car coming. She looked right and saw us coming, but from further away. As soon as the first car passed she looked left and right again and judged she could run across the road before any more traffic got to her. (daughter only does 40 in a 50 at this point)

The deer made it in plenty of time!

Why can't them Aussie Buffolo's get with the program? Aint they as smart as an american White Tail deer?

I think I remember that the Cape Buffalo wins first prize for causing most deaths among complacent zoo keepers and big game hunters.

Water buffalos are a different breed.

Yer so right, Noddy. For one thing, those buffalo are so big they're not very concerned about being hitr by a car. A collision that would kill a whitetail on the spot is klikely to do more damage to the car than it does to the beast. Some bruises, probably, is all. I doubt very much that a croc would bother a buffalo much. The hide is too tough for a croc to bite through. In fact, the horned one would probably just trample the reptile to death. That's what I meant earlier when I said they probably have very few natural enemies in the wild. Back home in India they'd be prey to a hungry tiger. But there ain't no tigers nor other tpes of predator cats that I know of in Oz.

Buffalo are a feral pest in Australia. Any herd which is found and accessible is wiped out.

Brief overview of buffalo in Australia.

They were originally introduced to provide meat. Dingoes and Crocs prey on the calves but once they grow up a bit they are untouchable by anything short of a high caliber bullet.

No, prolly no big cats, but there's some mighty tough bunnies from what I hear.