@maxdancona,
I'm being ridiculous? Come on. I asked for advice. Even from my OP that asking her out should be a huge no no. And I talked to her like twice before I came up and asked if she wanted to meet up. She wasn't sure and then said yes but then when it came to it she ran off trying to use her cellphone. Now she wont talk to me and a co worker told me to leave her alone.
So I'm leaving her alone by not being around her. She doesn't have to see me.
So I came back here to tell you people to screw off because asking her out is the worst ******* plan. Even the co worker who didn't even mention said, buddy dont ask a woman out you work with. Maybe I should have asked advice from them instead but I didn't say a word because this was what I was afraid of.
No there's no spark with 99% of women. They could be ridiculously attractive but I could care less about them. I thought there was and this woman seemed to like me up until I became an idiot and tried to talk her into something she wasn't comfortable with. It was stupid. Just like the last woman I actually managed to talk to but lost all confidence when my co workers tried pushing me into asking her out.
Its obvious I shouldn't even try and should have only be a colleague. This also shows that I need to put my foot down and then never to bother to talk to any woman I might have an interest in. That I should avoid them. It's too late for me... if I can't talk to women I like then it's best to just stay away from them period. I was much happier when I didn't have to worry about someone pushing me into dating and women in general. Even when my stepmom was trying to get me a blind date I automatically said nope. Not happening and even said I wont bother. It's a shame that people have to play matchmaker because I'm single and should be with someone.
What's unhealthy is the different scenario being given to me with the same result, rejection time and time again because with new people there is the possibility of being forced to deal with a new situation but without the experience or understanding what went wrong now.
The woman, Kate before my ex crush I talked to for quite awhile. Didn't see the signs she wasn't interested but when co workers pushed me into asking her out they already knew she would say no. Worst advice ever. They claimed I needed to gain confidence but you dont gain it by being rejected consistently, because all it did was shattered whatever confidence I had from getting used to talking to Kate. I wasnt ready to ask her out and it was clear I never should have. We would have been great friends if I had never asked the question and finding out she was dating other men.
Its cut clear that I shouldn't be asking anyone out because I'm not ready... I may never be ready. I shouldn't be thinking of dating or anything else. And in the end I probably lost another friend in the ordeal. All because I am too timid.
So yes I'm pissed off. Anyone who overanalyze crushes should be extremely careful who to take advice from. I'm way to influenced in what people tell me I should do. I'm unable to take the advice and do what feels right to me. Of course I dont know what I was thinking when I asked her if she wanted to meet. Maybe the whole thing will blow over and it'll be ok.. but now I just have to get over her and deal with the fact this is another bridge burned and I'm running out of them.
Hate how I realize my faults now because now its left a bitter taste in my mouth how yet another failure occured. Now I just dont care. Maybe the next interest with another woman will be different, because there's no chance in hell I'm going to ask her out. Terrified to death by the thought of it.
As a 39 year old never been on a date or been with a woman, it should have been clear from the start that I am too timid with crushes and the advice should just be talk to them, dont force it, let it flow and dont always be the one approaching (or every day, talk to her once in awhile). That would have been sound advice. Unfortunately I had to learn that the hard way. I should never ask anyone out. That's my problem.
