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Sun 24 Mar, 2019 02:35 am
I've recently moved out of my parents house and have begun to notice very extreme differences in the way I lived there vs the way I live now. First things first, the house is absolutely filthy. Trash everywhere, dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, mice, roaches and bedbugs to a proportion I've never even heard about, too many animals to take care of, fleas which have caused deaths for 3 animals in the household, animal **** and piss everywhere, its awful to even step in, you can't sit anywhere for a minute without being bit or having something crawl on you. Me and my sisters have also had lice for 4+ years now, which is something I've treated 3 times, but since my parents do nothing it keeps transferring. The house is in horrible condition disgusting bits aside, the wood floor is rotting, broken things all over the house, my mom is the literal definition of a hoarder, there's few narrow pathways through the house because of all the junk that's there. All in all the place is horrible to live, I haven't had friends over in 7+ years, and my parents haven't had people over in about the same amount of time. It makes us extremely isolated from the rest of our family, who host parties and holidays all the time. My parents, who I will say are extremely poor, my mother refuses to work and my dad supports 5 people and animals, so I understand some things are out of the way budget wise but at this point it's beyond ridiculous. My dad is an alcoholic, who gets drunks at least 3 times a week, and my mom lives in a fantasy world on facebook where everything is fine and awesome. They were never there for emotional support for me, and I know its even worse for my sisters because they probably can't remember a time when we had people over or didn't live like pigs. Its beyond upsetting because I don't want to call CPS on my own parents, but I also hate the idea that they're ok with my sisters living like that. It upsets me enough that they're content with that lifestyle but it pisses me off so much that they don't even bother to try for their kids. I've only lived outside for about 3 months now but the difference in how I live is shocking. My mental health got exponentially better after moving out, I didn't wake up 4-6 times a night because of bedbugs, I didn't have to constantly watch and ziplock my food out of fear of bugs crawling through it, and I can actually have friends over now. I've considered asking for help from one of my other family members, my aunt knows of the situation and does what she can to help, but at this point I don't think my mom would even accept help at this point, shes too far gone. I've also looked up apartments nearby they could go to, so bills would be lighter and it could be a new start, but my dads ego would never let him move out of his house into an apartment The situation is unlike anything I have ever heard about so I'm literally at my wits end, I don't know what to do so I'm looking for any kind of advice at all, even if its hard. thank you so much for reading, even just writing this out makes me feel a bit better.
You don't say how old you are so I am operating under the assumption that you are maybe 21 and your sisters are somewhere between ages 13 and 17.
Next time you talk to your aunt, talk to her about hosting your sisters for a short time, say, the summer. It'll be even better if she can take in one or all of the animals, or if you can.
If she is agreeable, then broach the subject with your parents of a summer (or whatever the time period is), to get their act in gear. If they need reasons, explain it will be easier and more affordable for them to clean up without having so many mouths to feed and so many people and animals underfoot.
And tell them you are going to be speaking with the rest of the family about your sisters' summer (or whatever time frame) plans, and why they are making them.
If your parents allow it, then I can practically guarantee that they will fail if they make the attempt at all. But they likely will not allow it.
So why am I suggesting this? Because I am afraid you and your aunt and anyone else in your family who cares will be calling CPS over this. Or at least, you should be.
By making the attempt, you will head off reasonable-sounding objections from your parents, which an overworked CPS caseworker might not have the time to check more closely, particularly as your sisters, I take it, are not preschoolers and they are not being beaten.
For overwhelmed CPS caseworkers, those circumstances would come first. So you want to get past that initial "wait and see" nonsense.
I am also suggesting this because your parents have to be outed. This is not to shame them-- they probably both need psychiatric treatment (I am not a doctor)-- it's to tip off your aunt and the rest of your family that something is not right.
Your parents have been able to hide things for, as you say, seven years. Things are not going to get any better. Your sisters, most likely, need to be removed from the household.
Get rid of the pets.
I have seen how fast animals can completely f--k over a clean home if the owners cannot keep up with them. ....
I bet this is it - your parents could not keep up with the destructive forces of all the pets (and kids) and slowly they have compromised and compromised until one day, you got what you got today.
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