I fell in love with a separated man.

Hi  everyone, I just came here to seek for advice. I have already read a lot of articles about this situation and a lot of forums discussing this certain topic and it still fascinates me to know more about other people’s experiences since I’m new to this kind of situation. There will always be people with much more experience than me so I try to find answers from people all over the world who have had experienced what I am going through right now. So I have this boyfriend of mine living overseas, specifically he is from the US, mainly in Virginia. I’m from the Philippines and obviously we’re in a long distance relationship. I’m 26 and he’s 37. We met each other on a dating site, and we fell in love. He courted me for like a month or so and it didn’t last longer than what I expected. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes to him right away. What made me fall in love with him is we are so alike. We Share the same interests, he is romantic as well like me, he is very passionate that it comes to a point that he consistently messages me each and every day with words of love. As for a man it is a good sign that he is very interested in me. Some men after months of being in a relationship tend to be less expressive or should I say they’re less communicative. But for him he still is consistent in making me feel important each day. It’s almost our 11th month being together. Almost a year of fair share of love and commitment. So the problem is that I’m having doubts if I will ever continue our relationship as of now, not because we are in a long distance relationship but because I feel like an option. He is a married man still but he told me that he is separated from his ex-wife. But what bugs me is that he still lives in the same house with her but in a different room. He told me that he is limited as of the moment to somehow get his own place since it would take some time for him to be able to save and be financially stable. And adding up to that is he has 2 kids living with him with her ex-wife. The house is conjugal and he told me that kids are involved in this kind of situation, he is asking me to wait for him until he can be able to do what he has to do in time. And what makes me have doubts is that he told me that her ex-wife has major mental issues and is controlling. What makes me uncomfortable is he is still living with her and still pisses him off because the woman argues with him every time. The thought of him being around that woman is way too much for me to handle. He gives child support for their kids which is ok for me since it is his obligation and it is his responsibility, but he told me that the woman asks for too much money and the thing is he still supports her financially because she doesn’t work at all which really pisses me off and makes me so uncomfortable. I have told him that he needs to take his one foot forward to be able to move on. To start at least trying to get out of that situation but I know it doesn’t happen over night. But at least he has to have an action plan right? A concrete one to be able to get out of that kind of situation. Ok let me take you back to what has happened before, I remember  what he told me before when we were still on our 3 months mark in our relationship. He told me that her ex-wife has got out of Jail for physically assaulting him and just got back to their house. And then he moved out of the house and temporarily stayed at his friend’s house Shawn which I believed him for I love him so much. I always put in mind that trust is vital in every relationship. And I remember when he told me that he would come and visit me way back in August, but it never happened and never gotten a reason why he wasn’t able to come. I let it pass because I just assumed that he was not capable of doing so because of financial matters. Which is quite understandable. And also he had a very rough time last year since her mom just passed away. I was there to comfort him. And tried to forget his promise to me of visiting me last year since he was grieving for the loss o her mom. So time passed by and he have been telling me how he wanted to see me, to feel me in his touch and how he longs to touch me badly. Then weeks came by and me waiting with uncertainty in my heart became months. What I like about him is that he always send me voice clips, video messages saying how much he loves me and how much important I am to him. And receiving video messages from him makes me feel loved and appreciated, I love that about him, him sending gestures of love. Him having time to make me feel wonderful and making me feel that somewhere out there, someone cares for me even if we’re oceans apart. It’s his language of love, his words of love makes me the happiest woman in the world. Hoping that someday we will be together and won’t be waking up in a bubble of dreams and lies which sometimes I come to think of if when will be that day. When will the agony of us being together end. Then going back to what happened, It was the month of December and I still clearly remember that it was Christmas day on my end and it’s the  new year’s eve on his if I’m not mistaken since we have crazy time zones.  I just noticed that the background in his videos that he sent me were kind of the same. And I started to wonder and questioned myself if he’s telling the truth that he’s staying at his friend’s house and moved out of his own house for his ex-wife just got back from jail. And I got cold towards him for like a week and he noticed that. And he tried to ask me why I was kinda cold to him. Then I asked him if he still stays at his own house with his ex-wife, he then told me that he still stays at their house but they sleep  in separate rooms, which got me devastated. He knows what I have been through in the past and he knows that I have been cheated and lied on and used in the past by my previous ex-boyfriend that’s why even the slightest deception is hard for me to tolerate. And he asked for forgiveness, his excuse was he didn’t tell me because he knows that sooner or later he will be getting out of the house if he already has the resources to do so, and he told me that it would take some time for him to save up money to start the divorce process since his ex-wife agreed on getting divorced. He asked me to give him up until the end of winter which is up until April, that’s according to him. I asked for space and had my time to be alone to think it over. He begged me to stay, to talk to him to fix everything with him. I didn’t respond to him. Then I remember getting a message from him on facebook after 5 days, he promised me to do something about it, finalizing his divorce and start the process by April. I believed him again for he sounded genuine and sincere with his words. He is good at always making it up to me with his words of love and promises. It’s all we ever have as of now, the words and flowery promises that sound compelling and believable. I tried to go on with the flow, there’s a part of me that wants to believe in him but still the doubt remains. And right now I’m sitting on a chair at my dining area trying to write this using my laptop letting it all out, it feels good to have an outlet which is by writing what I have been holding back inside me for quite a long time. 11 months being in a long distance relationship is no joke, specially if you have doubts and fears because of the situation that comes along with being in a long distance relationship, most likely being with a separated man. Uncertainties start to bug you at night…even days get longer with you overthinking stuff like this you know. Having neverending doubts if he will ever commit or not. Being in a relationship is a commitment but it is a different story when you are battling the thought of you being with a guy with an extra baggage. Overthinking if you should wait for him and give him some time to finalize the divorce or end it before it gets to a point where you can no longer let go of him since you fell deeply in love with him. Hope but never expect…that’s what they say but it is your right to expect something in return, a good out come out of this situation since you are the girlfriend. Since you believed him from the start that he will never hurt you. And Just a few days ago during the weekend. The woman striked again, he told me that the woman stole his money from his console in his car for $1500. How great is that? I just don’t know if when it will ever be over, her disrespecting him. I believe him but there is a part of me that doubts if it is true because he once lied to me and he said that he will make up for it for the rest of our lives. But I still try to be expressive towards him , to still make him feel my love. But it is hard to talk to him the way that I have been talking to him thinking that we are in a situation like this. Knowing that he still lives with that woman, not knowing if he will prove himself to me by starting the divorce process this coming April. I don’t know if I should wait until April ends to see whether he will make a move or not just to have a solid proof if he is doing something about it. It is hard you know. It is a risk. I’m stuck between waiting him out even if April ends or if it reaches up until May I would call it off and let him do what he has to do. Still have a month or so to wait and see if he would have started something about the divorce process before April ends. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking.