My husband lies and crosses the line

Hello,

Last week I found out my husband purchased flowers for a coworker. He states he was just being supportive because she hosted a networking influencer event and it turned out to be successful. The reason this really upset and hurt me is because we are tight on money and the week before he was on my case for buying toys for our 3 kids.

There is also pretty bad history revolving this coworker. Last year, he hung out with her at her apartment till 10 pm after work and it was hurtful because he lied and said he was hanging out with his buddy. Also, on that specific day that he hung out with her at her place, my therapist had called him to discuss the severity of my post partum depression. He stated they are friends and she knows about me and the kids and they just watched the game with other coworkers. A few days later there were issues where he bought her an expensive gift for her birthday ($200 dollar shoes) behind my back and also another instance where he went to her place again to help her on her project and I only found out because my car got totaled. When we had to file a claim for insurance, I got the location where the accident took place which was near her house and not at the location he had previously told me he was at.
Anyways even through all that we were working on our marriage. I knew I wasn’t able to control him so I stopped asking him to stop speaking to her since they work together. I just asked if he can please not spend money on this girl. Fast forward to now and he spent 100 bucks on sending flowers to her place. I’m crushed. I know at this point I have to just move on because he is not stopping this behavior. I’m at stay at home mom and working on my resume to get back to being independent. Any tips on how to move forward and stick to my guns with my decision? When all this went down, he refused to take any accountability and I found myself again telling him to stop doing this and stop speaking to her when in reality, I am not going to be able to trust him and I also know I can’t control him. He has yet to apologize or bring me any sort of comfort to make me feel safe again. He doesn’t see anything wrong with what he did and says he lies and keeps things from me because I freak out. He was also upset because I had to tell my family and share what happened to my closest friends who are like sisters to me. I have been staying at my moms place with the kids and I feel like he is going to try to ease his way back and I’m scared to fall because I’m so tired of being hurt like this again. Sometimes I feel like maybe I am overreacting cause he always makes it seem like this is just an issue with him having a friend that’s a girl, but this has never been an issue with any of his other female friendships. I feel like I’m going crazy and so scared to make any decisions. Any tips on letting go of this fear?

Thank you