FOR KICKYCAN ONLY (private election memo)

<Ahem>,,,,I have noticed that this PRIVATE memo has been viewed 20 times so far.

If you are not Kickycan, please desist.

Outrageous !

PS...However, if you are thinking of voting for Mr Ratzenhofer, please leave a message of support.

All campaign contributions (min $50 in used, unmarked bills) gladly accepted.
Please send to:-
Lord Ellpus
Droitwich Manor
Letsbee Avenue
Wallop-under-Bottom
England

I tested a thread and put the heading 'ignore'.That didnt work either.
You know what were like.

Mr K, where is our beloved leader, he should be here by now. Didnt he say that he would finish arranging the < censored> by midday out there?

I also think that it's time to activate Big Lou and the boys. Farmerman is getting too many votes and has to be <censored>.

Tsk, tsk, tsk... Slush funds, gangsters and "leaning on" the opposition? How low will you go? And to think, I always thought the British aristocracy was rather noble. What a disappointment.

I'm afraid Kicky is a bit incapacitated at the moment and can't reply. The head wound, you know. Heavy medication and all.....

Let us raise our glasses

Ours is the orbit

Vote for party of masses

Eva, Dag, and Wabbit

Bella Dea, Cee Jay

Each is proud and royal

All wimmins round the world say:

U all rock, hey y'all!

Truth we do represent

You know else you'd resent!

Folks, have you seen this? Do you really want to elect a President who's celebrated by religious extremists?!

NO! We want LOVE and BEAUTY!!

I might consider voting for you Dag if you get that stupid chick off the hood of my car.

the car is yours, cj. if you wish, i'll send the girl away. she's already been paid. if not, you can keep her...

Ooohh a bribe!

No no no no no. We are simply walking away from the car... and the girl. No longer want it. Up for grabs. First come first serve... You're first.

One need look no further than the posts of outsiders in this thread to see that we need a man like Gus to take care of this site, and to rid it of these pretenders...I mean, look at Nimh, putting up that piece, trying to divide the people by stirring up ethno-religious prejudices...that organization is completely above-board, and in fact, an organization above reproach!

But of course, if you want to go with the party that spreads hate and distrust, you can vote for that Farmerman bunch.

And that LoveAndBeauty group? One word. Cult.

Ellpus, I really loved your ideas, and consider you a true asset to the ticket. As for your remuneration...

1. Aston Martin DB7...We have it on order.

2. Consultants fee of £40k per annum...No problem.

3. Golf club membership at Gleneagles...We are working on this, but the club bigwigs have given us a bit of a problem. It seems you have been there before, and there was an incident involving the burning down of the clubhouse which they seem to feel was somehow caused by you. We will continue to work with them on this.

4. One Capybara per month for the freezer...Of course.

5. One crate of Corn Whiskey per month...Not a problem at all. Gus has connections, my friend. Good connections. A new crate just arrived, as a matter of fact. You don't mind if I have a little taste out of your stock later this evening, do you?

6. 5% of cash offerings from Church services (England only)...Perfectly wonderful. I'll have my boys get to work on that immediately.

We interrupt this programme for a special bulletin.

<threatening music, grainy pictures of men in alleyways, grinning at the CCTV with lighter in hand. Voiceover.>

Once more, the choice we face this year is as starkly outlined as one ever was. The campaign for A2K Presidency has barely kicked off, but already sleaze has flooded our TV screens, the billboards in our cities. Look at what we've seen. The election race has escalated. <camera pans to billboards with half-naked women bending over fast cars>. It has been unpleasant, unsavory and unfortunately - unsurprising.

On the one hand <camera pans to footage of Kickycan consulting with advisers in an office hall>, we have the Kickycan candidacies. Gustav Ratzenhofer. <unflattering close-up of poster>. Lord Ellpus <image of LE wagging his finger at a gardener>. Kickycan himself. <camera pans back as Kicky jovially slaps a suited man's shoulders>. The Big Money Party.

They lack public support, so instead they rely on shady financers. On outright intimidation of voters and candidates.

<Earnest man appears on screen, speaking to the viewer>. There is something of the night about Gus and his crew.

On the other hand <camera shot of street scene, with Dagmaraka gesturing at half-naked girl on car>, we have the cheap thrills of the Love and Beauty Party. Relying ever more on external consultants <close-up of Dagmaraka>, it has now become the Sex and Bribes Party.

But graphical excess can not cloak a lack of original ideas and sincere intentions. <close-up of lurid poster, with fast cars and naked chicks>.

Is this really what you want our community to be about?

<ordinary-looking, fourty-year old woman appears on screen>

My name is Amy Brown. I'm a working mother. I want a better life for my family. No more empty promises. No more campaign stunts. Amidst the grime and groping of the Big Money Party and the Sex and Bribes Party, I see only one alternative. Clean hands. The people's choice. <camera pans to Soz and Farmerman, hand in hand at a campaign rally, then at the masses cheering them>

It's your community - It's your choice. This May; vote with compassion. Vote for Sozobe. Vote for Farmerman. You know it makes sense.

<image of sheep happily bleating in a landscape of hilly meadows>
-------------------------------------------

Those sheep are starting to worry me....

Alas for civilization.

The proper term is "corn liquor". Corn whiskey is not a term used by serious drinking men.

I cannot help but correct you on this matter. Gus sells his "licquor" to tourists, or stripping paint from barn doors, but keeps the good stuff for bribing people.

Loud music from a loudspeaker (duh, as there could go quiet music from a loudspeaker): Loooove, looooove, looooove.....