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Tue 19 Apr, 2005 11:48 am
I just heard it on the radio.
The Catholic Church has a new Pope.
And -correct me if I'm wrong- but it's none other than our own Gustav Ratzenhofer!
I'm so very proud!
Indeed that is a splendid news item.
I've done a little searh and found the following pearls of thought by Ratzenhofer:
On Bible reading:
"Isn't there a passage in Leviticus that reads...."And the asseth runneth througheth the desert for 40 days and 40 nights untilith it was too damn tired to moveth any moreth"?"
On whacked up Western Catholics:
"They have issues that would cause a monk to become a heroin addict".
On meditation:
"I'm leaving now. I must seek darkness and silence."
On inspiration:
"I'm going to use a picture of the pope for a bookmark.... "
On the future of Catholicism:
farmerman wrote:
"The Catholic Church doesnt generally screw with trying to "set back the worlds clock" a few millenia like the Fundamentalist Christians or ....."
gustavratzenhofer replied:
"Or in the case of some of the current whack-jobs, only back to the fifties".
Way Coool!
And this is a great sample of humbleness:
gustavratzenhofer wrote:I recently stumbled across a thread where Joe Nation is scrambling to get into Time magazine as one of the 100 most influential people in the world. I laughed. Joe is surely above that list of miscreants. Joe doesn't belong with mere presidents, inventors, authors, and billionaires. Joe deserves to stand high on a pedestal with a really cool high-pointed hat on his head and wave to the adoring masses as he leans on his gilded scepter.
Forget this Time magazine nonsense.
I have seen the future.... and its name is Pope Joe.
That might explain why Gustav had been absent lately. So modest, he is. Who knew?
Sic transit gloria swampi.
Does this mean Joe Nation is to be appointed Cardinal and probable heir to the Throne of St. Peter?
Well, better Joe than Gus, I say.
No need to appoint him. Joe is already a cardinal fellow.
Oxford American Desk Dictionary:
cardinal, adj. chief; fundamental; on which something hinges.
cardinal virtues, chief moral attributes: justice, prudence, temperance, and fortitude.
Joe has all the moral issues nailed except perhaps temperance. But then, at least we could count on Joe to share the wine. Gus would make us all buy it from him.
Why that could be considered simony!
Gus is pope?
wow!
So what'aya gonna do with the swamp? Is that now holy land?
Will pilgrams spend thier entire lives walking across the country to stand on your porch and let your basset hound nibble on thier ankles?
In the midst of wild sex , will people start calling Oh GUS OH GUS instead of OH GOD OH GOD?
Are you going to allow the statues of the Virgin Mary to be as scantily clad as the statues of Jesus? You know, he only wore a white robe. On a rainy day I bet that thing is see through...
Now he's the shepard of a really, really big flock.
Couldn't have made a better choice.
The Church is on its way out...to the greater good of humanity. It's leaving will grease the boards for the others.
Boniface will help.
Ticomaya wrote:Now he's the shepard of a really, really big flock.
That is one of the single most frightening things I have ever read.
He'll need a really big crook. Maybe he could appoint Rumsfeld as vice Pope.
Tico made me laugh, and Dlowan sobered me up. Ellpus has a handle on it, and Frank is right about increasing decline... in certain lands.
Funny! I heard 'pope ratzenhofer' all afternoon, too.
Here's the Pope speaking about .... about...... sloth?
Quote:...."And the asseth runneth througheth the desert for 40 days and 40 nights untilith it was too damn tired to moveth any moreth"
That was always one of my favotire passages.
I'm happy for Gus, couldn't have happened to a better guy. But I refuse to address him as "Your Holiness." Nosir. Gotta draw the line somewhere. "Your Sloppiness" maybe, or...or..."Your Swampiness."
Probably needs waterproof red robe...
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