should I suicide or not yet ?

You should see a doctor, depression is treatable, get it treated.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Please get help. There are many more things to achieve in life. Dissatisfaction today shouldn't mean the end of your tomorrows.

How would she feel if you did that?
Go to my page.
Click on the avatar to the right.
Read her post. ("Only you...")

There are plenty of people who feel the same and I, even now, am sometimes one of them. I actually attempted what you are contemplating and thank God, I failed.

What I imagine you are looking for is a way to stop feeling so bad, and not really death.

There are ways to stop feeling so bad without ending your life.

I'm not going to lie to you; they are not miraculous. Taking the right meds can produce results that will make you feel much much better, but usually, they become ineffective over time. That time could be anywhere from one to twenty years. You just can't become complacent and must continuously, but not obsessively, remain mindful of how you feel and talk to your doctor when things start to become troublesome (not horrible).

It's well worth a shot. Suicide will always be there if nothing works, but having been where you are I can tell you it can get better, a lot better.

You can do it.

You can PM me with your email if you would like.

I'll be more than happy to talk to you.

Just be aware, I'll be traveling for the next five days and may not have access to this site.

I echo what Finn and others wrote. You never wrote here about your having seen a therapist so why not give it a try? If you need a referral, I’m sure you can get one. After all, in searching online, you found this site, right?

Having success in your professional (or personal) is but one step towards feeling fulfilled. Sometimes it takes a lot more. Many of us weren’t brought up in a way that teaches how to easily feel happiness. Some times it is a learned process. However, it is reachable.

You wrote that you have a woman interested in you - in fact, you describe her as your girlfriend. Why would you want victimize her and bring her such sadness? I know a friend who became a victim and that loss of her b/f affects her every day of her life. Depression is curable - even yours. Time heals all wounds.

That was never about failure but success

You are a fake

The truly suicidal are very rarely so glib.

I do not know how you can say that when we repeatedly hear all the stories where friends and family had no idea someone was close to suicide when it happened? Some people manage to hide incomprehensible darkness under that smile you see on the surface.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rinoNgGTjY

I can because I've corresponded with the gentleman.

Ok, I did not realize corresponding with someone is the final word on gaining certainty about that person.
I was only talking about the family and friends actually living side by side with them every day, growing up with them, working with them, crying and laughing with them and still having no clue suicide was just around the corner.