My boyfriend earns more than me.

I am sorry to hear about your husband.

If I were available (I am currently in a relationship that I care very much about) I don't think I would ever turn down a drink assuming the person offering weren't annoying.

An invitation for a drink is a social interaction. When someone wants to buy me a drink it means they want to get to know me and they are taking a risk by initiating with me. I don't see any reason not to accept a drink, especially if I am open to the possibility of a new relationship.

Rules that limit human interaction don't seem logical to me.

Thank you. He was the best.

If someone wants wants to merely "interact"..they just have to say "Hi, I've had a shitty day and want to vent to someone", or something along those lines. I observe currently and HAVE observed in my younger life, the women who are "on the take". I have friends who walk into a bar and get drinks by whatever it is they do to get drinks off of strangers so they don't have to pay to have fun. Not me. Never have, never will. Then there are the men who think if they by "that one" a drink maybe she will spread her legs for me. Nope.....

If a woman wants a relationship... whether it is a fairly short sexual encounter (i.e. "a man to spread his legs for her") or something with the possibility for a longer term meaningful relationship... what would you suggest she do?

Asking someone you find sexually attractive "can I buy you a drink?" is part of our culture, it is a ritual part of flirting which may or may not lead to sex. It is probably preferable to just asking someone "do you want to have sex?" (at least I have found that the former is more likely to lead to a sexual encounter). Generally casual sex starts with flirting, there is a game that is played by both sides, and then it ends up with sex that is desired and hopefully enjoyed by both people.

There are long term relationships too that start with a "can I buy you a drink". Buying a drink doesn't mean anything other than possibility. The way forward is then negotiated by both people and many time it just ends with a drink. But refusing a drink generally shuts down any possibility of any interaction.

I assume that you agree that sometimes sex, even casual sex, is a good thing for many of us. For people who don't want this... of course refusing any interaction is reasonable.

Many of us like sex.

"But refusing a drink generally shuts down any possibility of any interaction. "
So you DO get it......

Yes, thank you very much.... I get it quite often. That's why I keep buying drinks for women.

Are you implying that women don't want to have sex with men they meet in a bar? The number of women who choose to have sex with men they met in a bar proves you wrong about this. Contrary to what feminists want you to believe... there are women who enjoy sex.

Good for them. I am speaking solely for myself.

If you wanted to have sex (and you weren't currently in an intimate relationship) what would you do?

Either you would need to initiate a sexual encounter with someone, or they would have to initiate an encounter with you... someone has to make the first move. For a woman, going to a bar and waiting for men to initiate is a reasonable course of action... as long as men are initiating. If no one initiates, then no one will have sex. That seems sad. Asking to buy a woman a drink is a reasonable way to initiate a sexual encounter... a woman can also offer to buy a man a drink, but that is far less common.

When I was not in a relationship, I would from time to time offer to buy drinks for women I found attractive. I would flirt in other ways as well. Sometimes the women weren't interested at all, sometimes they were receptive, and sometimes it led to a sexual relationship.

This is all part of normal adult life.

Contrary to what you believe 'feminists' think, women (feminist/whatever) do enjoy sex....... they just might not find the allure of a complete stranger attractive or trustworthy enough to be alone with them. It can be dangerous to wander off with some stranger just because they smiled and bought you a drink.

Once again you are comparing apples and oranges. I hope you are not implying any woman who ever turned you down did so because she didn't like sex? It's entirely possible she may just have found you off-putting. It doesn't mean you are not boinkable, it just means that particular woman finds you unboinkable. It's not a character flaw to not find every man you meet to be desirable.

My only point is that there is nothing wrong with a man or a woman offering to buy someone a drink at a bar with the hopes of a sexual relationship. And, there is nothing wrong with the other person rejecting or accepting the offer.

I agree with what you are saying.

Thank you.

You're welcome. Can I buy you a drink?