Where can I get a good massage in London?

Good question! For the best legal and good massages of London, you'll want to start at the East End near Coventry Bridge. Then keep massaging in the direction of the Broadmoor subway line until you hit the big pawn shop on Lexington. There, grab Willisdon Green by the kabuchis really really hard.

You do a massage of London as I instruct and you'll fell much, much better.

Get on a homemade raft in the river Thames and...

Better than Yelp.com.

Find a chiropractor, they normally employ a professional masseuse.