I met a really interesting and delightful couple the other day. Marissa and Melvin.
A few of the pools here have reopened with limited hours and other restrictions.
I was waiting in line to get in when they do the every 2 hour turnover, and as it happens got to talking to them. They were behind me with their 2 daughters, maybe 6 and 8 or 9.
They had moved here from Costa Rica about 9 months ago. It was interesting to hear Marissa tell how the cost of living was actually higher there, and comparing and contrasting living in both places. Melvin stayed pretty quiet, just saying a few words for clarification or expansion.
After getting in the water, at some point we 3 adults continued our conversation. They moved here because of his job. Something about the technology system in the VA.
She had been a doctor, an anesthesiologist, which I thought was facinating.
She said she probably wasn't going to go back to it any time soon, between the kids, the credentialing, and just needing to take a break.
She said that the being around the frequent death and emergencies had started to wear on her. Understandable.
That indirectly led to me mentioning my husbands death, and they both asked about that. In part I said that one of the worst parts, as I've said here, was the people, who although they (at least they thought) meant well, just had this agenda of "wanting to help" and want you to "feel better", not necessarily (or ususally) because of the circumstances, but because they personally felt comfortable being around at a time where they had no control over the situation.
Marissa nodded and said "I know, it's awful" Then she said that even in the short time she's been in the states she's seen how uncomfortable people are around others grieving, as compared to CR. She more or less said "Americans are always trying to DO something"
Then Melvin said that he was Jewish, and that in his religion when someone dies, in the first days before the burial the dead person is not brought up. It's the time for the deepest grieving that cannot be expressed or comforted. Then he continued that the grieving period is supposed to last a full year. Allowing time to be able to continue life.
I listened to him and said "Those are such wise words Melvin"
Marissa said "My husband doesn't talk much, but when he does, you should listen"