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What is up with Friend Groups?

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Linkat
 
Reply Thu 20 Dec, 2018 01:06 pm
In school now kids have friend groups. I just remember having friends - it was not classified as friend groups. But problem I see about these friend groups is now there is always drama surrounding them.

See now you have a group of friends - if you do something with just one or two of your friends within a friend group - there is drama. If you have a falling our or disagreement with one of your friends within a friend group typically all the other friends within the friend group then side with one and the other is left out and made to feel bad -more drama. It is tough to join a new friend group and it is tough to be friends with someone you might like the resides in another friend group.

So is this just middle school stuff or high school stuff - nope - I found out this is also college age stuff.

My high schooler is constantly having friend group drama to the point she is often left out or other "friends" are downright mean. Visits to guidance are not uncommon as a result. I asked my college daughter about this and she said in high school she was not a part of a friend group - she had friends but was not in a friend group. She now is in college and says there is always drama within her friend group.

What the heck - why don't we simply have friends?

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tsarstepan
 
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Reply Thu 20 Dec, 2018 01:09 pm
@Linkat,
Cliques AKA friend groups have existed for decades. Many a high school movie has depicted friend groups and clashes between friends that crossover differing large and small sized groupings.
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Dec, 2018 02:06 pm
@tsarstepan,
I guess my understanding (which could be wrong) was cliques were more exclusive - in other words cliques are the "popular" kids. I know my daughters still speak of cliques differently than the do of friend groups.

I guess maybe friend groups are cliques for the "normal" kids.

Its weird - it almost like the cliques are mean to everyone that is not part of the clique and the friend groups are just mean to those within their circle when there is something a "friend" does they don't like.
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Thu 20 Dec, 2018 02:14 pm
Yeah I looked this up - I guess I was right on track about friend groups vs. cliques:

"Sometimes a group of friends is actually a clique. Typically, kids in these groups make it clear to outsiders that not just anyone can join and be part of their group. Another determining factor is that cliques often focus on maintaining their popularity or status. They accomplish this by making those on the outside feel like they are less important than those inside the clique. What's more, people in cliques are notorious for using their perceived power as a way to hurt or bully others. They often exclude, ostracize and leave out others on purpose."

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tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Dec, 2018 02:39 pm
@Linkat,
Linkat wrote:

Its weird - it almost like the cliques are mean to everyone that is not part of the clique and the friend groups are just mean to those within their circle when there is something a "friend" does they don't like.

I think the crossover of friend groups you describe is generally associated with Millenials and Gen Zers. They're more accessible and loosely defined.
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