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Should I tell my husband I cheated?

 
 
Reply Sun 21 Oct, 2018 10:20 pm
My husband and I are early 30’s with no kids. We’ve been together since we were 18. We’re happy & very much in love, but life often gets in the way. He has a very demanding job & often this interferes with ‘us’ as a couple. I recently travelled overseas for a family wedding - due to work commitments my husband couldn’t come. The best man who I’ve know for many years was also travelling without his girlfriend. We were sharing the same holiday house & as we were the only couples there without our partners we seemed to spend a lot of time together. I picked up on his discreet flirting during the holiday and I enjoyed the attention but didn’t really act on it. The night of the wedding we were the last 2 standing at the ‘after party’ in our holiday home. He invited me to continue drinking in his bedroom so not to wake the other house guests - I was very drunk and so I went with him. Eventually we ended up kissing - completely instigated by him! For around 2 hours we passionately kissed and played. He made me feel good about myself and my ability to turn him on - something I’ve not had from my husband in a long time. Sex has become routine. I didn’t let him play with me and nor did we sleep together as my conscious got the better of me but I enjoyed being intimate with him & the way he made me feel so special. I returned to my own room & he was fine with that. He’s the only person in 15 years I’ve been intimate with other than my husband & as guilty as I feel for what I’ve done e I did enjoy it, a lot! The following day we all travelled home - the guy & I to different cities. It was awkward & we didn’t really speak: mainly due to my guilt. I feel so guilty I wonder should I tell my husband? Or should I perhaps be concerned at how much I enjoyed what happened & questioning my marriage? I can’t stop thinking about it & the way he made me feel. My husband doesn’t make me feel that way any more. Please help or share similar experiences.
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Mon 22 Oct, 2018 04:53 am
You're fine. But seek out counseling and tell an impartial professional what you wrote here. Talk to them about how to liven up your marriage.
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Alwaysonmymind
 
  2  
Reply Mon 22 Oct, 2018 02:38 pm
@blondssweetie,
Neither of us are ready for kids yet & after what I did I’m not sure it’s the best thing for us right now
laughoutlood
 
  1  
Reply Mon 22 Oct, 2018 06:37 pm
@Alwaysonmymind,
Never, ever say anything to your husband about the minor dalliance.

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Stevep64
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Oct, 2018 05:36 am
@jespah,
You cheated: Therefore, your husband has the right to know.....This happened to me in my first marriage, and let me tell you, it's the most devastating, hurtful news you can get.
Stevep64
 
  0  
Reply Wed 24 Oct, 2018 05:38 am
@Stevep64,
"MINOR' dalliance: what a crock. cheating is cheating, whether you think it is or not.
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Finn dAbuzz
 
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Reply Wed 24 Oct, 2018 03:29 pm
@Alwaysonmymind,
Alwaysonmymind wrote:

Neither of us are ready for kids yet & after what I did I’m not sure it’s the best thing for us right now


Very smart of you!

Kid don't solve marital problems.
0 Replies
 
Finn dAbuzz
 
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Reply Wed 24 Oct, 2018 03:33 pm
@Alwaysonmymind,
Unburdening your guilt is a selfish motivation for telling your husband and more than likely connected to a hope that it will end the marriage that you don't have the courage to end.

Make up your mind (although I think you have). If you no longer want to be married then tell your husband in a way that minimizes his pain.

If you do, then keep your mouth shut, live with your guilt and work to make things right.
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