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Sun 21 Oct, 2018 07:42 am
Hi guys!
I'm 27 years old and my boyfriend is 26 years old we seeing each other on and off for two years but he keep complains saying the bellow, he Said is an explanation(don't know what he is trying to explain) but it dosen't look like it to me so i will copy and paste the conversation we had and please let me know what do you think because I'm really confused.
On a side note just to let you know I'm a single Mum and work full time but I never complained about spending time with him or needing time for myself but he always tells me he has his own life, his own goals and conplains he spends hours with me( but I also do the same so sounds like he is doing me a favor?)
The other day he got Angry and wanted to brake up with me but I begged him not to leave me so when he calm down he said that he loves me and he wants to be with me.
My Boyfriend:" I spend my evenings and nights messaging you every single day."
"Why you make goodnight and good morning into a permanent ritual.
Why you have to say goodnight, Sweet dreams, Sleep well, Goodnight etc... Kiss, kiss, kkss. You made it into a ******* ritual."
"After seeing you for hours and as soon as I get Home. I message you get ready for bed and then for another few hours I am messaging you all night."
ME: Well after you Complaining you spend too much time with me, not msg me all day on many many occasions, saying you don't gives a **** about me being upset, taking revange on me etc" what's the point.
"I did thought about it and if you complained about something I think the healthiest way is to stop doing it." What I'm doing now Is if he texts good Morning I say sorry but I don't want to say good morning because you might complain I make it into a permanent ritual so I won't say it anymore.
My boyfriend: I STARTED ALL OF THIS. YOU ******* ****, YOU SEE NOW INIT. YOU KEEP THIS ATTITUDE WE WILL BE LIKE THIS FOREVER!
I just stoped doing the things he complained about it Like msg him, ask to meet up etc and he said:
My boyfriend: "Don't come moaning to me that our relationship is dead."
His attitude towards me is I quote him "Dropping bombs and **** and thinking nothing going to happen. What planet you live on ?" so I thought I will do the same as him because he always claims that is clever.
Please let me know what is your honest opinion about this situation.
@cristina 134,
I wouldn't stay with someone who called me a ****. Ever.
The rest of it is commentary.
@jespah,
I agree with Jespah. This relationship is over. Get out, cut off contact and don't look back.
@jespah,
I love him and I don't want to leave him.
Is him complaining from his comments or tying to explain something?
@maxdancona,
I love him and I don't want to leave him but what do you think is he complaining in his comments?
@cristina 134,
cristina 134 wrote:
I love him and I don't want to leave him but what do you think is he complaining in his comments?
From your post, this relationship sounds like a complete disaster. It sounds like you are the one who is having trouble letting it go.
If this is the type of relationship you want, then don't complain about it. If it isn't, then you should let it go. You got two choices, pick one.
@maxdancona,
But what do you think is he complaining or he just don't care and he dosen't see a future with me?
this guy is purely narcissistic trash to be avoided completely
@bunnyhabit ,
But what do yo think? Is he complaining or trying to explain something but I don't understand?
@cristina 134,
People here are going to take your side automatically, because you are a woman... and we are supposed to believe women. But, it sounds like you are the one pushing things here. He wants to leave, why not let him?
On the other hand, maybe you ought to stay with him. If you two are together, you both will be miserable. But it is better to have two miserable people, rather than four.
@cristina 134,
This is about one sentence only and I think it is the part you keep asking about and don't understand. When he said "I spend my evenings and nights messaging you every single day.", I don't think he was complaining about it. I think he was explaining that he does that because he does care about you and chooses to spend time with you. From there, I think it just turned into misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
@Ponderer,
Well what about the fact he is complaining saying he will never achieve his goals because of me and he has his own life etc.
He said quote: "After seeing you for hours and as soon as I get Home. I message you get ready for bed and then for another few hours I am messaging you all night" why would you even bring it up if you enjoy doing thouse things I never in my life even thought about it because I do it out of love even if is really hard because I'm a single Mum and work full time also.
@cristina 134,
I don't know what your boyfriend is thinking, but I find you exhausting. I am not trying to be insulting, but geezzzz, give the guy some space. It sounds like you are in constant contact and maybe that's because you think it expresses how much you care for him You see it as an expression of love and warmth, I bet he sees it as smothering, at least I would. You really should back off, give him some room and find things to do that keep you busy, spend more quality time with your children. I'm not suggesting you are neglecting your children, but it sounds as if communication between the two of you is a 24/7 job. Try to relax and see if things improved.
@cristina 134,
I don't think he should blame you for not achieving his goals. I don't know. Overworked? Lack of sleep? Needs "me time"? If he is sorry for taking his aggression out on you, he will tell you. If he doesn't realize it, you might ask him what you did wrong. If he has an answer, then go from there.
@Ponderer,
Thank you! That makes sense.
@cristina 134,
You're welcome. I think I'll ask for a raise now. Really, it's good to hear.
Thank you.
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