Would cops investigate child verbal abuse ?

We don't know where you live, so it is unlikely that anyone can give you a cogent answer to that part of your question. As for verbal abuse, that can seriously harm a child's self-esteem, and have negative consequences on them for the rest of their lives. You need to make sure that this does not happen to your children, and you need to make sure that they understand that they are worth-while people and that they don't deserve to be verbally abused.

That's why my husband had agreed to take anger management classes and work on his issue, he is not that kind of person coming home start drinking and abusing the kids verbally. I'm in CA. Overall he is a good father and he just need to work on his issues. Realistically we all get mad, angry , yell sometimes, he just needs to learn not to let his anger to control him. For CPS try to get involved in this situation I really think it's unfair to my husband. What does CPS do when there is no physical abuse involved ? CPS would just give us some information about taking mental health classes? which he already start doing it. This whole thing is just totally ridiculous

1. Talk to a family lawyer.
2. You want to make sure that he isn't on a searchable datbase. This is the biggest consequence and can cause problems in the future.
3. The CPS is not on your side. Anything you say to them can and will be used against you...
4. There are ways to appeal, the most important thing is to get off any registry.
5. Repeated because it is important... Talk to a family lawyer, you can pay $100 or so for a consultation, it is worth the money. Free advice is barely worth the price.

You don’t seem to understand that verbal abuse is the same as physical abuse.

Your husband gets out of control, then terrorizes little chldren. Yet you justify his actions and minimize them.

He needs to go to parenting classes and anger management classes. Anger is a sign of depression, so get that checked out, too.

Put the welfare of your children first.

Punkey's own biases are getting in the way.

1. Verbal abuse is not the same as physical abuse. That is simply a ridiculous thing to say. And yelling in anger is not verbal abuse. There is nothing in the OP that says that the children are "terrorized". This is Punkey's own imagination.

2. There are many cases where CPS overreacts. There is no evidence that this isn't one of those cases. That is why this family should get a lawyer that will represent the interests of the family.

3. This mother is in a perfect position to judge for herself what is best for her children and her family. For strangers on the internet to judge her as weak with no evidence of the actual situation is ridiculous. It is far better for everyone involved to have family therapy if both spouses agree it is beneficial than to have CPS involved.

If this mother feels that therapy is necessary, or that she needs help, she is perfectly capable of doing this without the judgement of strangers.

A lawyer will defend her rights. Lot's of families give up their rights when CPS gets involved because they don't know any better. That is why you need to talk to a lawyer.

Biased in that she thinks it's wrong to abuse children. As opposed to what? That it's OK. Is that your bias?

Izzy, you shown to use basic logic skills, in the past, when it suits you.

It is wrong to abuse children. No one has said otherwise.

We don't know what sort of "inappropriate" things he said - what he yelled about. It is tough for us to make a judgement call if this is really verbal abuse unless you know specifically what he said.

I think pretty much every parent has yelled at their child - to be really abusive it depends what he is yelling, how often and to what to extreme. If he were to yell pick up your damn clothes off the ground - that isn't abuse whereas crossing line is - you are a complete dumb f** - you are stupid and so worthless you can't clean up after yourself. Or if he were yelling threatening things.

Even if not abusive yelling - yelling rarely will get the results you want from your child so if you think it is out of control and extreme he should get help with how to handle these stressful situations - kids can cause many a level headed person to "lose it" so if you do have a hard time keeping your cool in these situations it might be worth talking to someone (I am not saying this is the situation).

As far as the other side - certain professionals are required by law to report a situation if they think it could be abusive. That is probably why your clinician did so. I would be careful what you say - unless of course this is really abuse then you should report it so your children are not harmed.

Whatever happened to "Believe women"? I think you all owe BlueSky more respect. You people aren't treating her like an intelligent woman able to make her own judgement. You are treating her like a scared little girl.

The issue is CPS. And it is a real issue.

CPS is a government agency with an important job and a big stick. They have the power to do two things.

1) Take away people's children.
2) Threaten parents to take away their children if they don't do something important.

There are cases where children need CPS to take them away, and there are situations when drastic intervention is appropriate and necessary. In these cases it is a damn good thing that we have CPS around to take people's children away.

There are many other cases where CPS does more harm than good. In these cases there are other agencies or community resources that can provide services, counseling with wielding a big stick or threats.

This mother is afraid of CPS, and given the experiences of other families she has reason to be nervous.

The answer is to get a lawyer to deal with CPS and to look for other resources to meet the needs of her family. It sounds like the latter need is already being met.

Re- read her post:

She went to the clinician to talk about the conflict in the home.

He yells and screams and says inappropriate things to the kids.

CPS will recommend anger management and/ or parenting classes, if needed. The Parents can get in front of the inquiry by enrolling in these classes without being court ordered.

I stand by my opinion that verbal abuse is equal to physical abuse. It’s not seen on the body, but does just as much harm.

It’s not OK to have a bad day at work and come home and kick the dog - or the kids, wife, or the door.

You didn't specify the exact conversation you had with your clinician. But it scared that person enough to escalate the situation to an outside party, CPS. You even argued with the person's supervisor, who also felt your situation needs escalated.

We don't know what prompted you to seek help in the first place. I would have to imagine it's pretty bad if you were brave enough to seek someone out about it. This isn't normal, you recognized it and took steps to fix it. For that, you are to be commended.

What may be what you thought would to be sent home with some pamphlets of smiling kids and parents playing in the back yard has now turned into an investigation of possible child abuse. That's pretty scary. A real eye opener.

Now it seems you're backtracking. You come to the defense of your husband saying he isn't all THAT bad, and besides, he's getting counselling. What you are NOT saying, is what help are you getting your children to help them through this.

CPS usually calls you and makes an appointment for an office visit interview to ascertain some information. After that, they may find it necessary to bring the children in for an interview. Those accounts from you, your husband and the children may necessitate a home visit. No, cops aren't going to come in your house. But yes, if CPS does have enough suspicion to warrant a home inspection, they have a legal right to do so. They'll check your children's school records for absenteeism and grades. Day care records if there is any. Some times they check with employers for absenteeism or any signs of physical or mental abuse signs.

CPS will ask your neighbors if they've seen or known about the yelling and how the kids seem to respond. That, you should be the most interested in, viewing your situation from a 3rd party of of view. Above all this, really see what your children are going through.

You wanted help. It's not coming in the form you expected. It's a sign that things ARE that bad and it's time to understand your children are being harmed.

Deep down you know that.

Look at how disrespectful this is. Ohhh.. poor woman, she doesn't really know what she wants and needs CPS to take care of her. "Deep down" this woman "wants" to be taken care of because she can't make decisions for herself. How can feminists be so patronizing.

I can fix this really easy by reversing the genders. Imagine if a man complained about his wife "yelling at the children". Neptune and Punkey would have the opposite reaction... because feminism.

We don't know what really happened. We have trust BlueSky, because she is the only one who knows. You guys are assuming that she isn't smart enough to know what she wants.

When CPS overreacts, it is bad for families. They come in, they make threats, they pressure parents, they add they disrupt families. They are a government agency with little oversight where a few people in a bureaucracy make mandates on families.

When CPS is needed, it is a very good thing they are around. There are truly abusive parents, kids getting physically hurt or treated cruelly. In this case you need CPS to investigate, take legal action, and remove kids from horrible situations.

But in other cases, a clinician hears the word "husband" and "yell" in the same sentence and triggers some righteous sense of duty, they call CPS who comes predisposed to find abuse... and a ball starts rolling that ends up doing damage to a family. In these cases the CPS does far more harm than good.

Talk to a lawyer.

You are such a bloody hypocrite, you never take the word of a woman over a man except where it comes to possibly covering up/excusing abuse. It's well documented that those with abusive partners often make excuses for their abusive. Abusive people don't tends to stop with the kids, it's controlling behaviour often made to make the victim feel they're to blame.

This thread is being taken over by outraged feminists.

My point on this thread is clear; if you feel that CPS is interfering in your family in a way that is not helpful, talk to a lawyer.

Max

You talk out of both sides of your mouth. Plus you ASSume things, too.

What was the therapist supposed to do with the information this woman shared? By law, that person reported it to an agency that is supposed to oversee the welfare of children. This man’s behavior must have been that severe.

The most horrific stories I hear about are when CPS wasn’t assertive enough, i e multiple visits to the home and the children still left in harms way.

This made me chuckle.

It is pretty simple really

1. Sometimes CPS is needed.

2. Other times CPS causes more harm then good when a caregiver overreacts and CPS has trouble stopping once they get the ball going.

3. This poster has rights since she feels that CPS is overreacting.

4. The poster wasn't asking for you to judge her, she was asking how she could protect herself and her family from CPS.

5. She should contact a lawyer to find out what her options are.

This is your bias showing. We're in poor Max territory again.

We don't have the CPS over here, most child safety concerns are taken up by a charity the NSPCC. And when the kid was very tiny a neighbour malicious accusation about me. The caseworker initially thought he'd got the wrong house, and after spending a short time talking to all three of us he dismissed it as malicious. My kids are very confident and outgoing, they're not scared of anyone, and don't shy away. Professionals can tell stuff like that, it's their bloody job.