HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT DEATH?

I have thought of that too, Lash, but whoeeeeh.

I know how husker felt going in there and I want to hear what he thinks now.

Would that we had laptop fingertips.

Oh, and oh.

Someone mentioned how short life seems by contemplating death.

My father died recently; and the deepest experience that came from the event was envisioning his life from beginning to end.

That is, I know, for the most part, he had a crappy childhood (abusive father, the whole thing); got kicked out of the house when he was 16; met my mother at 18; army service; married; had a couple daughters; led a "make ends meet" (and alcoholic) sort of domestic life; and then I came along.

So then there's the 20-some years of his life that I know personally ... short, not complicated but not happy ... and then he died.

That's an entire life. I'm skipping some details, obviously; but the point is that I can "see" the whole thing, and it's just so damn short.

Not looking at posts before or after this last one, Neitzsche,
all I can say is you're right, it's short.

Lots of us here on a2k would want to talk more with you, no matter what it seems at first as you try to get into threads.

Just post here, for example, and keep talking.

I don't think I've ever been afraid of my own death. Many years ago (when I was still single) while driving on hwy 101 south of San Francisco, the traffic in front of me stopped, so I stopped. As I looked at my rear-view mirror, I saw this car coming at me at full speed. I thought to myself, "I guess this is it." His car crashed in the whole rear end of my car, and my car hit the car in front of mine, and that car hit the car in front of him/her. While this was happening, the cars on the other side of the freeway started to have a chain reaction accident as people were not paying attention to their own driving. The freeway that day was a mess, and it took hours before I was taken to the police station. I don't even remember I got home that day. ** fast forward to now ** I try to live a relatively healthy life by walking three miles every day and eating a balanced meal - most of the time. I guess I fear poor health and becoming a burden to my family more than anything. I told my wife when I die to have my body cremated and the ashes tossed into the Pacific Ocean without a funeral. I told her to have a wake for all our family and friends to celebrate my (lucky and happy) life.

nods to you and your lovely wife, CI.

j

Thanks. I'm not going anywhere.

It stills gets to me when I think about death... I am only 20 years old and I hope to live for a long time but you never know... I remember when to of my friends died... one was 17, that was in 2001... he had staph infection and his lungs just collapsed on him.... the other was a year ago in June.. he was 19... he died in a car accident.. no speeding, no drugs or alcohol... nothing... for some reason he just went into the other lane... you could see his house from where he died.... I hadn't seen him in six years....

Anyways like I said I don't like to think about it... it scares me alot... not that fact that I am going to die but the fact that I don't know what it is like and if anything happens after? Does it really matter though.. it is inevitable!

My mom passed away last fall. Her last words were "I'm tired, I've had a full life...I just want to sleep."
I hope I am so lucky.

Awesome.

My brother died in a car crash. It was quick; he didn't suffer much if at all. But it weakened my mother. She began a decline that lasted several years and then died. I am unable to sort out which death caused the most pain. I think, equal. In both cases I never got the chance to tell them good-bye.

Yeah, lion tamer, I admire your mother's last words. It says she had a full life and was ready to call it a day.

We all wanted her to outlive my dad and have a few years of "mom" time, but she outsmarted us.

Edgar, that is a sad story. Do you think she died of a broken heart ?

Sure. She began to fail within a month of my brother's death.

I've often heard that there is no greater loss than for a parent to lose a child. I just can't imagine.

My parents went through that 3 years ago. Losing my sister and of course, I lost my best friend at the time as well. It was a horrible year for me regarding death. During that same 12 month period, I lost 16 friends and relatives and attended 10 of their funerals. They ranged in age from 16 to 92. Some hadn't even had a chance to live life and some had lived a long and wonderful life.

So in answer to your question, yes...I have most definitely thought about death...more than I cared to. I am not the least bit afraid of my own demise. It's more the heartache and the void left behind for the living.

It's strange to read these posts and realize the frailty of our existence. So many stories of near death. We see the calm facades with no evidence of the traumas many have experienced. Mine happened in my thirties (now 65). The wife and I had Chinese that night and when I went to bed I suddenly had difficulty breathing. It was an allergic reaction to msg (monosodium glutamate). I tried different positions, got up and walked around, picked up a book, anything to try to relax. The impression I had while trying to breathe was of trying to pour water into a full glass. The lungs just wouldn't take it. Back to bed and shifting again. Solveig, my ex, woke up and saw what was happening. I explained and she asked if we should go to an emergency room. I said yes. She'd never heard that from me before and we were there in no time.
I was admitted and taken into a room with beds separated by hanging sheets. Then left alone. Although sweat was on my forehead from exertion I felt very calm. Finally a doctor showed up and questioned me. I could tell from the way he spoke he thought it was an emotional reaction. It wasn't and he soon relized it. He explained he would be right back and left.
Shortly afterward another patient was brought in and left there. Maybe 15 minutes later he went into convulsions. We were alone so I got up and in my hospital robe (open in the back) barely able to breathe walked out to admitting and told the woman at the desk what had happened. She pressed a button and people came running. I walked back and got back intto bed. They were working on the guy and someone yelled asking how long he'd been like that. I yelled back saying about eight minutes. They finally got him stabilized.
About an hour later my doctor returned and said they were releasing me. No treatment. No medicine. No oxygen. No advice. I left there fully expecting to die. Odd thoughts of never seeing the morning come crossed my mind. Still having a problem breathing I nevertheless finally fell asleep.
I woke in the morning surprised I had survived. Breathing felt normal. Since that time perhaps two or three times a year I have panic attacks. These are all emotional and I believe caused by the body remembering that night. The first took me by surprise but I learned how to calm myself and consequently the panic attacks abated. There's no more fear of them. As a matter of fact there's no more fear of death. I feel I should have died that night. Since then every day, month, year is a bonus. And I love life.

bobsmy, I also "And I love life" even though I do not fear death. At 69 going on 70 this July, I've had a pretty full and happy life. I know for sure I'm lucky and one of the many exceptions on this planet.

c. i., my pal, I would expect nothing less from you. Here's to us. (lifts a heavy mug and savors the brew)

Husker posted very shortly here just about as he was going to go to the hospital and I think his thoughts of death were extremely immediate. None of us answered.

I didn't answer since when I noticed the post I already knew the circumstances, by then he was already going to the hospital. He did make a cry in this thread.

Husker and I are very different in our views on religion and after death denouement. But, man, I am paying attention to his feelings in the here and now.

osso, I admire people that can recognize cryptic messages; I'm a total dodo at it. I didn't react to husker's message on this forum; I just thought it was just a short reply to the previous post, and couldn't figure out what you did.