Tran sexuality/Transgender

What part of being a guy attracts you?

Guys can have long hair. Girls can have short hair. Hair doesn't determine sexuality. As Punkey asked, what is it that appeals to you about being a guy? No periods? No bra? An attraction to girls? Wanting to be alone yet safe when you walk in the dark? You can have all of those things and still be female. Is it because you perceive that boys are treated better than girls? That's no illusion; in lots of places, that's still the case. You can be female and work to change that. Or male. There are places where guys aren't treated so well, too.

The reason I'm being discouraging is that the transmen I know, they knew they were men from a very young age. They went through (and still do) hormonal treatments for years. These treatments are giving one of them terrible acne and oily hair, and the other one is going bald. You know, just like someone born with the XY chromosome combination.

Also, trans means, as you have perceived, a lot of changes. And right now your body is going through puberty changes.

My advice? Go through your changes as you are, at least for now. There is a lot that goes into the hormone therapy for trans. I doubt any doctor would start to treat you now, anyway. So give it a year and see how you feel. See how you feel about what it would mean to come out to your parents, your friends, etc. If you still want to go through with it, then a year of feeling this way would show a lot more of a commitment to an exercise that takes decades.

One thing to point out you are 13. You are young and it is perfectly normal to question your sexuality and almost everything else about yourself at this age. There are so many changes going on that I am surprised more young teens do not question this.

This is not to say you are one way or another. I think just being more open about your feelings could help you sort things out.

In the mean time - enjoy what you like about being a girl and/or boy. I don't think you need to make a decision now. I would certainly not change your body at this young age - especially where you are questioning.

Most high schools and middle schools have counselors available - I know my daughter's has even an adjustments counselor. You could ask to speak with such a counselor to help you sort yourself or just to help you feel better about yourself.

My daughter and I did - when she was first adjusting to high school as she was having so much difficulty that she did not want to go to school. The counselor helped her to the point where she now enjoys going (well at least the social side) again.

The more important thing is to feel comfortable and safe where you are - you have years to discover your true sexuality. Bring 13 is still pretty young to determine such a major change. This is a time to discover who you are and what in enjoy in all aspects of your life.

But to feel less confused and better about yourself - realize that all teens your age have questions about various aspects of growing up. However, if it does bother you I highly suggest talking with a counselor it certainly helped my daughter adjust and feel happy socially at school again.