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How can one keep a clever child from roaming into porn etc.?

 
 
ddlowan
 
Reply Tue 27 Mar, 2018 10:56 pm
I am seeking advice about monitoring internet use by a computer savvy 10 year old.

I cannot say anything about why, except that we really need this kid not to be accessing porn or R, M material or doing/being exposed to inappropriate stuff in chat rooms.

Really.

Really really.

He is smart enough to delete his history and may know how to browse incognito, we aren't sure.

Are there any browsers that are terrible at deleting history and don't have a way of avoiding leaving a history?

The kid has to be able to access the net for school and we have to begin giving him some trust back but we need to know he can handle it.

Any constructive ideas welcomed.

 
Setanta
 
  2  
Reply Wed 28 Mar, 2018 03:48 am
I don not possess the savvy to give you exact technical advise, but I do know that you can set the security levels for browsing very high. This is done by the person who logs onto the home computer as the administrator, and is only one capable of logging on as the administrator. That means a password comprised of letters and numbers and which is not intuitive. Also, certain browsers are better than others. Firefox is very good about blocking material, and even sad old windows will warn you of pages containing malicious content--although that is more likely to be warnings about pages which contain malware, rather than inappropriate content. Your browser security settings can be set up to block inappropriate content. You might send a PM to McGentrix or Hingehead, either of whom will know more than I do. These are areas in which the child's slick skills won't be able to overcome the blocks, so long as the child doesn't know and can't figure out the administrators password.
0 Replies
 
oralloy
 
  1  
Reply Wed 28 Mar, 2018 04:13 am
Does he connect through a router?

If so, set the router to use a porn-blocking DNS server, and lock down the router settings with a password.

http://support.opendns.com/hc/en-us/articles/228006487-FamilyShield-Router-Configuration-Instructions
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Wed 28 Mar, 2018 04:31 am
@ddlowan,
First of all, realize that a clever child will be seeing porn. You are setting limits and sending a message. Unless you lock him or her in a cellar without electronics, you aren't going to completely stop what is ubiquitous in the 21st century (although 10 seems a little young).

Disney Circle is the best I have seen and allows a great amount of flexibility on what you filter out, as well as bedtime schedules. It is pretty easy to set up and pretty difficult to circumvent.

There are several other prominent web filtering products. I imagine all of them work fairly well.

maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Wed 28 Mar, 2018 04:37 am
@maxdancona,
If all you want to see is what websites he or she is visiting (using incognito), your router may be able to log this. You should check the manual for your internet router.

Logging the internet traffic at this level means that deleting history and incognito mode are irrelevant (since the information has already been logged). There are ways to defeat this (i.e. proxies and tor) but it seems unlikely any 10 year old has this level of sophistication.

I think a filter is a better idea. Then you are stopping the possibility of porn use on your computer, rather than setting up an uncomfortable confrontation.


0 Replies
 
rosborne979
 
  2  
Reply Wed 28 Mar, 2018 04:42 am
@ddlowan,
Smart and determined people, even children, can circumvent almost any restriction. They are very creative.

A lot of parents say that the only option is to keep the computer in a non-private location and only allow access when adults are around. Either that or sit with him and have teachers sit with him whenever he uses it. But he’ll probably get around that by using his friends equipment.

No matter what you do on home equipment he will just use friends as resources.

Your best hope is probably just to help him deal with what he will inevitably see.

Good luck. This is a tough one.
najmelliw
 
  2  
Reply Wed 28 Mar, 2018 07:34 am
@ddlowan,
Given the way you phrase this, there are more reasons for restricting access to porn then just the age related one, valid as it may be.

However, I concur with the others: It's going to be very hard to prevent it. My advice is to religiously check on his computer usage after he's done. If he deletes his browsing history (a sure sign in itself he's been hiding something), use tools such as Recuva to recover it. Then confront him about his behavior afterwards.

By just restricting access to certain material, you elevate it to the status of 'forbidden fruit'. He'll try to outsmart your restrictions if he can, and he probably will. However, if you can catch him at this a couple of times, without ever explaining how, and he receives punishment for it, he'll probably be discouraged.

I'd also advice you to install all monitoring and recovery software as administrator, and probably to change the administrator password regularly, especially if it might be easy to guess.
tsarstepan
 
  2  
Reply Wed 28 Mar, 2018 07:38 am
@najmelliw,
najmelliw wrote:

I'd also advice you to install all monitoring and recovery software as administrator, and probably to change the administrator password regularly, especially if it might be easy to guess.


This^. Also? Move the computer out of his bedroom and into a common room with decent foot traffic.
0 Replies
 
mark noble
 
  -2  
Reply Wed 28 Mar, 2018 09:12 am
@ddlowan,
If the child is integrated into society - It will function accordingly - It will be drawn to (The shite and the might) in equal measure - Without your approval.

The moment you assume 'you' are the predominant influence on/over your child is - a nice little program, called 'Typical parenting assumptions'.

How can ANYONE, ANYWHERE control what is being introduced into a sentient mind?
And... should this BE controllable?

Funny, in a way - The Parent is ever accountable for its offspring's actions - Yet not necessarily responsible for 'their' origin/s.

'Gerbilled if you do, Gerbilled if you don't.'

centrox
 
  2  
Reply Wed 28 Mar, 2018 11:38 am
@maxdancona,
maxdancona wrote:
First of all, realize that a clever child will be seeing porn. You are setting limits and sending a message. Unless you lock him or her in a cellar without electronics, you aren't going to completely stop what is ubiquitous in the 21st century (although 10 seems a little young).

It seems a shame that you got voted down for telling the truth. I was 10 in 1962 when I found the unexpurgated copy of Lady Chatterley's Lover that my parents had thought was safely hidden in a drawer. I think Lawrence's turgid prose probably did me more harm than the sexual content. Also a little later my school pals provided me with all the print-media porn I could want. An intelligent child will be curious about many things, including sex.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  7  
Reply Wed 28 Mar, 2018 11:48 am
@mark noble,
It's not a parenting question.

It's not a question by a parent.

It's not about what the OP approves of.

It's a technology question asked to try and help a young person who needs support and assistance.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Wed 28 Mar, 2018 11:51 am
@ddlowan,
ddlowan wrote:
The kid has to be able to access the net for school and we have to begin giving him some trust back but we need to know he can handle it.


is his computer access at home/in a setting where adults can monitor him?
rosborne979
 
  1  
Reply Wed 28 Mar, 2018 02:34 pm
@rosborne979,
rosborne979 wrote:
A lot of parents say that the only option is to keep the computer in a non-private location and only allow access when adults are around. Either that or sit with him and have teachers sit with him whenever he uses it. But he’ll probably get around that by using his friends equipment.
I mentioned this in my earlier post. Just put his computer and/or devices in a "public" location in the house and he probably won't visit porn sites using those devices. Just be aware that he's probably going to find a way to get to this stuff no matter what you do. So be prepared.
0 Replies
 
ddlowan
 
  3  
Reply Wed 28 Mar, 2018 06:08 pm
Thanks for the ideas all.

I will see if Disney Circle is available here.

Of course, his internet access was always subject to child safe blocks, but sadly he was coached in circumventing these and seems to have managed to set up accounts circumventing previous passwords.

The router idea sounds great...I will see if anyone around him has enough skill to look at that.

Yep, he'll only be accessing the computer in very public places for now.

Yep, I know very well that kids will access porn, but we have to limit that for this kid right now.

Thanks all.

I will check if Firefox can be used. thought it was defunct?

engineer
 
  3  
Reply Wed 28 Mar, 2018 07:54 pm
@ddlowan,
Firefox is going strong but using the router is your best bet. Try this website for help: https://www.groovypost.com/howto/free-parental-control-net-monitoring-netgear/
ddlowan
 
  1  
Reply Wed 28 Mar, 2018 08:55 pm
@engineer,
Thank you!
0 Replies
 
ddlowan
 
  2  
Reply Wed 28 Mar, 2018 08:57 pm
@ehBeth,
They try!! I can't explain the situation in detail, but not all carers are as fast as him. We are limiting which carers he can access net with therefore.
neptuneblue
 
  1  
Reply Wed 28 Mar, 2018 09:01 pm
@ddlowan,
I had a conversation on expectations. At 10, they've most probably had some sort of sex ed in school. I took that opportunity to expand those conversations with my son about sexual conduct and how/what his role should be.

I explained that he will come across some websites that will show explicit material that's not meant for his age level. I told him if he had questions about that, to ask me and we'll talk about it. He then showed me on Wikipedia the definition of "reverse cowgirl" complete with a stick figure diagram.

Parental controls are great but it's things that fly under the radar that really needs addressing. The first time searching under "Kid Rock" can turn up very unexpected results, anywhere from the singer, The Lemonade Song to websites even I was shocked to see.

The best approach I used was to keep the computer in the living room, where I could see what he was doing. He had a strong sense to make sure he was only using sites appropriate while I was around. He never deleted browsing history and I did catch him once or twice.

I still feel that having conversations about certain issues is more beneficial than blocking something he shouldn't see. I let him know it's out there but not meant for him. At 21, he told me that porn is stupid and no one could actually live up to that kind of performance. I think he's a stand up kind of guy.
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 Mar, 2018 05:37 am
@engineer,
The problem with using the router is that a smart kid can get around it by using proxies. A proxy is a website that will relay your request to another (blocked) site. On the plus side, forcing kids to do this might not stop them from viewing pornography, but it will help them develop some pretty impressive computer skills and a knowledge of how networks function.

The opening post in this thread specifically asked for technical solutions rather than behavioral ones.

I went through this issue with all three of my kids (two sons and a now teen aged daughter). I tried blocking with my sons, it was more trouble than it was worth.



ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Thu 29 Mar, 2018 08:21 am
@ddlowan,
ddlowan wrote:
We are limiting which carers he can access net with therefore.


I wonder if you can access any tech-savvy students who need credit hours to tag-team the regular carers. They'd obviously need some specialized training but they might be able to spot things happening with the computer faster than the regular care team.
0 Replies
 
 

 
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