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Tue 27 Mar, 2018 11:31 am
I've liked him for a long time and i alway tried to convince myself to talk to him but i never have because i don't think he wants to talk to me because if he wanted to he would have done it i guess?? Yea but the other day was the last day of school before easter break and on my way out the school i was thinking to myself i could wait another two weeks. Next thing i know. Im home Someone tells me he likes a GIRL. The next day my friend who knew i liked him finally told me he has a girlfriend. Thats Karma. And i don't have anything against her. But shes like really girly and pretty and I'm a tomboy and i'Ve been passing as a guy for a couple of years. But recently ive been growing my hair and dressing a LITTLE bit girlier. Which was horrible. I know I'm crazy for forcing myself to wear **** im not comfortable with. But yeah i tried to tell myself that crush isn't that serious but the more i tried to stop thinking about him the more it increased. And I like the girl but I'm kinda jelly. WHAT DO I DO TO FORGET HIM? i really need to know. Because i don't wanna feel sorry for myself for 2 weeks and then cry in the bathroom when i see them at school. Like im cool with her but i don't wanna see it.
@trecocl,
There's lots to unpack here. In no particular order:
- Don't change yourself to be with someone. Seriously. Never do that. Self-improvement? Sure. But not for someone's approval, attention, or affection. That way lies madness.
- Now you know what happens when you wait for someone to come to you. He's a teenaged boy. He's probably clueless as to your being into him. Which is why the assumption that he would come over to you is a flawed one. It's 2018. You can make the first move.
- Involving your friends in your love life is immature and it can make everything a lot worse. It starts up the gossip train and it adds a public dynamic to your feelings. Don't do this anymore.
- Bravo to you for not hating on his girlfriend! That's very mature of you, and it's also kind. If he has no idea you crush on him, then she has even less of an idea. Good for you for recognizing that she's not trying to hurt you.
- That having been said, a little envy is pretty normal. Don't worry about it.
- Feelings are valid. ALL of them are. So if you do end up, as you said, crying in the bathroom for 2 weeks, then so be it. Crushes can hurt. It's okay if you express that hurt.
- But I think you also see that might be overkill, and you would probably be right. There are no set timetables on these things. You don't feel upset for a specific time frame and then it shuts off. That's not just true of a situation like this; it's true of everything. Maybe you feel upset for 2 weeks. Or 2 days. Or 2 hours. All of those are fine, although I would suggest that if it lingers into over a month, you should see if you can talk to your folks about seeing your doctor and be referred for counseling. At some point in time, feeling sorry for yourself can tip into wallowing in self-pity and then into an obsession, where you keep feeling bad for the sake of feeling bad (I am not a doctor). So when it goes on for a long time, even though everyone's timetable is different, at some point it can be concerning.
- There are other guys, and you will have other crushes. I can practically guarantee that! So take this as a learning experience, that changing yourself was not a good idea, and that waiting around wasn't one, either. Maybe you can change the outcome next time.
And hang in there. Growing up can be hard, and crushes can sometimes make it harder. Most of us who are older have been there, and we can honestly tell you that it gets better.
most guys like giriy girls. i am sure if you doll up he will come after you. many g
Guys think tomboys are lesbian.
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