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Fri 19 Jan, 2018 09:59 am
I know the consensus from my last post was to leave my bf of 5 years. I'm really trying but I'm scared to be alone. Perhaps your advice as to the following development may help me:
He has told me recently he is "paying off all of his credit card debt now" so he can start fresh with me financially. He did make some payments with the trust money but he still owes almost $4,700.00 (which he said was about $4,000 (another lie), but I do believe he is getting the money this month to pay it off from the inheritance BUT I see he has 2 other credit cards which have his name but the account has his mother's name on it as primary. He tells me his mother told him he could use it if he needed or wanted to. He took me to a fancy dinner last night to celebrate his job and he used her card!! and no intention to pay it, really? he has the money in trust coming to him; why wouldn't he charge it to his card and pay it like an adult. She is 90 years old in assisted living and doesn't have a ton of money in case she needs it when her long term care runs out in 3 years. He admitted he won't use his money to pay off her cards, so if she passes, the creditors will be stuck. In any event, it seems to me he takes the easy way out of paying off money and he is damn lucky he inherited money to pay off his cards (or else he'd need to file bankruptcy) and his mother is so out of it, she doesn't know (maybe) that he is using her cards. He says she doesn't care and maybe she doesn't, but isn't it wrong?? Should I FINALLY run away from him and give up an otherwise loving relationship??
@tornandtortured,
https://able2know.org/user/tornandtortured/topics/
https://able2know.org/user/tornbetween2lovers/topics/
The advice ain't changin', no matter how many accounts or topics you make.
Or do you only want to hear what you want to hear?
Then here ya go. Here's your pretty lie.
He'll somehow buckle down although he never has before. He'll never get sick. He'll never become a financial drain. He'll never be sued by his mother's creditors (if he's an authorized user on her card and he is taking advantage of someone who's incompetent, guess who they'll go after? Never mind if they can win or not; creditors and collection agencies will be pounding on your door). He'll never cheat anyone even though he has a history of doing so. He won't max your credit cards. He won't destroy your financial future due to his whims and his abysmal experiences with money. His shitty credit score won't drag yours down. He's not stealing from his mother. He will never get angry at you for questioning his lousy money management 'skills'.
There ya go. Pretty lies R us.
@tornandtortured,
Do as you wish. Clearly no matter what level headed people tell you, you're going to anyway.
And after this mistake, stop being a weak woman.
@tornandtortured,
tornandtortured wrote:He took me to a fancy dinner last night to celebrate his job and he used her card!! and no intention to pay it, really? he has the money in trust coming to him; why wouldn't he charge it to his card and pay it like an adult. She is 90 years old in assisted living and doesn't have a ton of money in case she needs it when her long term care runs out in 3 years.
It's likely only a matter of time before his bills start ending up on
your credit card.
@tornandtortured,
Maybe you should tell him that you are very uncomfortable with the way that he is using his mother's credit card and tell him that you need him to stop doing this (and pay off what he has already put on her card) if your relationship is to continue.
If he really is trying to change, maybe if you communicate your concerns to him he'll improve in those areas.
If he doesn't change even after you talk to him about your discomfort, at least then you'll have a better idea where things stand with him.
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