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Toxic Trio

 
 
Reply Tue 16 Jan, 2018 03:59 pm
I have a bit of a friend crisis. I am in a toxic trio friendship where one girl (we’ll call her Sam) is obsessed with this guy (we’ll call him David) who is friends with both of us. Basically she’s buying his friendship by driving him around everywhere, paying for dinner for them, etc. She plans things without me and doesn’t invite me, and then openly tells me about the fun things were doing together. David doesn’t refuse her though. He still talks to her and hangs out with her without me, but he doesn’t like talking about it, almost like he’s trying to hide it from me.I found out today that she bought the two of them front row tickets to see a Broadway show-without me. She told me about it today, and told me not to tell him because “it’s a surprise.” I hope I’m not overreacting, but I’m pissed because I’ve known her for over a year and a half, and one time I literally talked with her on the phone for four hours when she got deferred from her top college.he’s the new kid and she’s known him for only a few months, but i know she would never invite me to do something like that with me. What’s worse is that they still actively seek me out, almost like they’re using me for some kind of validation. They both compliment me and say I’m beautiful and talented and laugh at my jokes...and then they go off and have dinner over the weekend. They feed off of each other’s toxicity, and sometimes it feels like he’s just using her for a ride (he doesn’t have a license) and she’s using him for validation, and they’re using me to make them feel like good people, and I’m using them to feel better about myself because they always compliment me and are nice to me and stuff. It’s just a cycle of toxicity, and I don’t know how to get out of it because we all go to high school together, sit at lunch together, etc. I don’t want to seem rude, or like the girl who just cut off her friends halfway through senior year. At the same time, I can’t continue to be treated like this. Any advice for this toxic trio?
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Tue 16 Jan, 2018 04:07 pm
@commmediadellarte,
Cut them off anyway.

BTW - I strongly suspect they are dating or are at least dancing around the idea.

Threesomes often don't do well. Someone ends up being the odd person out. Unfortunately, that person is you.

Fortunately, there are more than three people in your class. So make other friends, and be busy when these two come knocking for some validation.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Jan, 2018 02:07 pm
Remember when you were a kid and didn't want to play the game anymore? You just threw your pieces in the middle of the table and announced you were through and going to do sonething else.

That's what you do now.

You are right: they are using you, mainly because they don't realky have a relationship, it's suoerficial and they are using each other. You are a touch point to the side where they go to do a sanity check.

Stop being in this role. Find authentic friends.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Jan, 2018 02:16 pm
@commmediadellarte,
They have a relationship. You're on the outside of it.

Unless you're in tiny tiny tiny school there will be other people for you to spend time with.

Cut back/off your time with them. Spend your lunch/breaks time with others.

__

In the scheme of things, friends you make/break in senior year are a ripple.

__

Get out there and have fun with actual real friends.
0 Replies
 
 

 
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