My boyfriend recently found out about my stripper history

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Ok, so my boyfriend has known our whole relationship I was a stripper. I told him on our first date so it was out in the open and no one could say I lied. At first he didn't mind because the relationship was so new and we were blindly in love. Progressing further into our relationship problems arise and we somehow stay strong and work through it. (The root of all our problems was me stripping at the end of the day) so eventually I quit for the sake of our relationship and my own sanity. I have not stripped since like the beginning of October. Well... I didn't like to talk about work much with him bc I know it bothered him. Since we never talked about it what exactly happened at my job wasn't clear. I mentioned the clients being able to touch my breast the other day and his jaw dropped. The whole time he had no idea they could touch me. Apparently the only clubs he has been to they didn't let you touch the girls but all the clubs I've worked at/been to touching is always included in a lap dance so maybe it became normalized for me. Anyways we had been planning on moving in together and we finished the move today but he is acting weird. He told me it's gonna take him some time to get over the new information. He told me he had no idea the same breast he was touching every night, 20 guys prior to him had been touching too. What's y'alls opions on this/ how can I fix this?

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@Ave123,

He's never gonna get over this.

Get a new guy and don't mention your previous "job" that included men fondling your breasts.

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@Ave123,

That's tough. My thoughts are that the problem is his, not yours. But as you seem to understand, that might be irrelevant as this isn't a contest. If you care for the fellow, I would give it a while to see whether he can get past his present feelings and thoughts. If he cannot, you can make a decision then.

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@Ave123,

This guy is being an idiot. He is going to have to get over it, or he will have to end it. There are many of us men who would get over it. Does he not see the hypocrisy... he has been to strip clubs himself and yet can't deal with it himself?

Tell him to get over it quickly or you will find a man who will.

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Stripper and lap dancer not the same thing?

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@centrox,

Nope nopity nope.

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@Ave123,

Ave123 wrote:

He told me it's gonna take him some time to get over the new information.

What's y'alls opions on this/ how can I fix this?

1. give him some time
2. let him know you're willing to talk to him about it - but the timing can be his
3. be prepared to offer to go to couples counselling with him

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@centrox,

Lots of variants. No touch dancer/strippers. Touchable dancer/strippers. Lap dancers. Dancers/strippers who provide various services.

The range is pretty big. All the way from burlesque through exotic dance through simulated sex to sex.

It can be location/business specific.

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@ehBeth,

I am a little curious (and a little surprised) about EhBeth's expertise in this matter.

I don't believe there is anyone (including our OP) who would describe themselves as a "lap dancer". That is just not a term I have ever heard used (and... yes, I do have some experience in the matter). Someone who gives lap dances professionally is generally called a "stripper" in the colloquial and "exotic dancer" in a slightly more formal setting. (Of course, not all strippers give lap dances).

Any man who goes to a strip club expects to be offered a lap dance... except in places where they are against the law, and even then generally these laws are skirted in the interest of economics.

I don't think anyone considers burlesque dancers (who are far more artistic than erotic) to be the same as strippers. It is a different thing altogether with a completely different purpose.

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I'm gettin' bugs running up and down this same old strip
I gotta find a new patch that the men will tip
My girlfriends and me are getting real well known
Yeah, the boob guys know us and won't leave us alone

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Quote:

how can I fix this?

By finding a different job.

I’d be pretty uncomfortable if my g/f or lover was being mauled by others. There’s a way out by changing jobs.

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@Ave123,

@Ave123

Give him time. But still assure him of what he means to you.

Answer mine
https://able2know.org/topic/436381-1

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@Ave123,

You were upfront. He should have asked questions if he needed to know everything. If he uses this to hang an emotional bag over your head I would say he hasn't been mature enough to see you have given up your occupation for him already. Get a counselor if you want to make it work with him.

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@Ave123,

First, you have to decide what you want more. Would you prefer to keep your job or your boyfriend? I'm supposing, and hoping, that it's your boyfriend. Tell him that if it makes him feel more comfortable and happier, you will quit your job and find a new one. And do just that. Show him that you will go to lengths to keep you two together. That's all the advice I have.

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My boyfriend recently found out about my stripper history

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