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Mon 1 Jan, 2018 01:19 pm
Last month my friend told me she couldnt keep it in anymore and that she had to tell me, she had just broken up with her boyfriend from 10 years and became very lonely. So she spent her time drinking with two of my ex’s (1 called K in this who im still friends with) (1 called M who i spent 6 years of my life being emotionally abused by) and one night showed up already drunk. She knew M liked her, because the week before he had asked her out, (me and him broke up a year ago and ive moved on) now, me and her laughed about it, she said she’d not go near him, because she knew everything he did to me.
That he acted differently with friends than a girlfriend and she wouldn’t want to be that to him. But that week she ended up sleeping with him. Said she couldnt remember much of the whole night but knew she was the one encouraging it.
She told me she felt disgusted, she hurt me, her ex (who is my ex’s Ms best friend also). And M for using him and not going to be his girlfriend like he wants.
My issue is, she keeps going out with him still. Choosing to get drunk knowing he keeps trying. I was happy it was someone we knew and not a stranger that couldve hurt her, but this hurts ? And i cant stop thinking about it. She knows that if she ever caught feelings for him i couldnt be around. And i feel like shes risking our friendship for someone even she claims is an arsehole.
What should i do.
@Vulpix,
Your friend has problems with alcohol. She drinks to a point where she does things which make her feel disgusted and has no memory of his these things occurred (she was in an alcohol induced blackout or the s.o.b. guy put something in her drink, either way it's bad).
try to get her to acknowledge the problem with drinking and to seek help.
@Sturgis,
The first thing i did when she told me was told her had a problem and needed to stop, she told me she knows, she wouldnt drink ever again, not even casually. And she just “hopes” it doesnt happen again, but not even 2 days later did she carry on like it never happened. I told her she has a problem if she cant seem to stop even when she says shes not happy, and she told me to get off of her back, that i shouldn’t be trying to control her.
@Vulpix,
In that case, you either need to back away and just be there for whatever her future holds, including more self-destructive behavior until she gets her act together or you need to let her know that if she continues along this way, you will have to stop associating with her until whatever time she can get sober and stay sober. Offer support, but don't let yourself get trampled and hurt
Sorry about this. Of all the guys in the world she could have drowned her sorrows with - she hooks up with him!
That's a betrayal of your friendship. I wonder why you aren't more angry.
They have a sick relationship. Two alcoholics. Their common sickness is worth more than your feelings, for sure.
Keep your sanity. Time to distance yourself from these two.
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