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Sat 23 Dec, 2017 12:26 am
So a little over a week ago, the college my boyfriend and I attend let out for Christmas break. Well, he slowly stopped answering until it got to the point where it had been three days with no response at all. Of course, I had texted a few times over those three days asking if he was okay and telling him about things that had been happening each day. Well, he finally texts me and is angry, calling me a spoiled brat for “throwing a fit”. How is being upset about being ignored for three days and ditched wrong? Then he continued to be angry, not answering any of the texts I had sent while he was not answering and blaming it on me. Then, he texts me again today and gets angry again that I had texted, even though there were not many at all and they were all important things that I needed to say. He then proceeded to tell me that I need to make a list so when he decides to answer, I can send said list to him. Am I just supposed to not text at all and make a list of everything I want to say? That just seems wrong to me. Am I being crazy here? Should I just accept that he isn’t going to answer days on end, which is not normal for him at all, and make a list if things I would like to talk about when he does answe?
@purplegal,
What you did that annoyed him wouldn't have been noticed by most men. I think it would be best if you decide you never hear from him again. Do not make up any such list.
@roger,
Shouldn’t he be appreciative that I care? I have been with him for 5 years. I have put up with a lot. I bend over backwards for him. And this is what I get. Things are perfectly fine then we get on break and poof. He’s gone
@purplegal,
The way he is acting makes me feel like I am doing something wrong. He keeps threatening to leave me because apparently I texted too much. But I don’t think he realizes not answering for three days causes things to pile up. There weren’t even that many in the first place!
@purplegal,
I don't think you've done a thing to be blamed for. I'm suggesting you get rid of him right now. What he's doing isn't going to get better, and there's no reason for you to spend a couple of years worrying about what you did wrong, when it isn't anything you've done.
@purplegal,
You did nothing wrong.
It sounds like you have been apologizing for him and covering for him and making excuses for him and rationalizing his behavior - for half a decade.
Stop before you waste even more of your time and do it for another half a decade.
@jespah,
Yeah, my friend said something similar. The thing is though I really care for him and I’ve put a lot into this relationship. I’m not really the type of person to socialize and let people to get to know me because I dont trust people easily. It’d be a lot of work to find someone who I can be myself with like I can with him. He’s been a big part of Munich life and the thought of leaving him and starting all over is upsetting :/
@jespah,
I did also try breaking up with him. It was in the summer and he did this exact same thing so I left him and tried saying and in the end we ended up back together. He can be really sweet and caring when he isn’t like this. The problem is he gets upset with his family and he has no outlet for that anger and he takes out on me. When we were in school, things were great. And yeah, I’ve heard of that fallacy before. Quite fitting for my situation
Texts can be very annoying. Agree upon a time for a real phone conversation and stick to it.
@PUNKEY,
Well we can’t talk on the phone because of his family so we can only text unless he comes over. We always have texted and we text each other stuff that is going on. It’s never been an issue before. He’s just angry with his family and he’s finding ways to take it out on me. I barely even texted him when he wasn’t answering for three days. And I did try calling and of course he didn’t answer me.
What are your ages?
He has no cell or can't use the phone for actual talking? That's odd.
@PUNKEY,
No, he hasn’t a phone. His family is very controlling of him (he’s 18 and he won’t stand up to them) and they don’t like it when he gets phone calls. We can only talk on the phone when they aren’t home, which is rare because they usually make him go with them to watch their kids because they can’t manage it
@purplegal,
You've been dating since you were 13?
You've changed. He hasn't.
@jespah,
Yes. And obviously. I mean he’s done the same stuff for 5 years without fail. He says he’ll get better but then he falls right back into the same pattern
@purplegal,
So you're just defending this relationship for what reason, exactly? Because you think it's better than being alone?
You're 18. You probably won't be without male attention for long. And even if you are - spoiler alert - you'll be fine.
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