I'm attracted to my uncle's brother

I think a better question might be whether anyone who's acted on similar feelings has been able to avoid an emotional train wreck. You're just setting the stage for a tragic and totally unnecessary family crisis. I think you need to learn to control these feelings and give more weight to the potential consequences of letting this enfatuation lead to anything more serious.

Isn't your uncle's brother also your uncle? And isn't shagging him illegal?

I guess the lesson to learn from your post is that it doesn't pay people to be nice to you as you take it as a sign of interest.

You've got a crush on someone. Whoop!

Spend time getting to know people who are available to you.

You'll grow out of the crush.

Sure - we all have gotten vibrations from other people. You are becoming aware of attractive men, so that's what's happening. Geez - there's a million of them around.

He's cute. He's friendly. He's around. He's an older dude.

Don't think that those things mean a darn thing. He probably thinks you are a "cute kid."

Big thing: He's unavailable. He's too old. He's married.

I'm 21 he's 47 , if anything I might just b the young chick a dee haha ..it's weird tho growing up I called him uncle but stopped once I started having feelings for him..(he's my uncle thru marriage brother) ..his wife grew suspicious and I haven't been invited over since ..the last incident was the beginning of last month ..she's been cold to me and even confronted my aunt..of corse I denied everything ..played it off like "omg stop of corse not he's basically my uncle ..he's a great guy but he's also married w/ kids and 26 yrs older of corse not" I must of been obviously obvious.. he walked me out to my car ..second we got in the garage I gave him a long hug and big kiss on the cheek than same thing moments later when we approached my car ..he blushed ..he is so sweet and nice ..at get togethers we talk the most to one another and one time I was over he and I were outside til 1 am talking ..he brought out a blanket ..carried my shoes ..my purse ..he's so sweet ..I could be wrong but I don't think him and his wife hav the best marriage ..hate to say ..I wonder what does he look at me as ..like does he like me like that ..I'd say maybe he just wants to fool around ..which hey I'd be for it but he's also genuine ..treats s girl right. I figure if I keep my lik fantasy to myself no one will get hurt ..I would never want to cause pain towards his family ,.if never want it to happen to me ..but if he's not satisfied I wouldn't mind fulfilling him in any way! Is this normal tho ? Age difference / family member ?! ---hate feeling this way!!

I'm not going to Persue him ..I'm gonna let the ball be in his court ..granite I'd really like to b w/ him but it's most likely better this way ..no ones getting hurt

I want to ..a lot ..he and i are not blood related ..he's not even necessarily my uncle eithrr ..it's just out of respect I'd call him my uncle.
I should behave and stay respectful ..haha walked my way into that one

I've met tons of guys but he is such a gentleman ..and a real genuine guy
Hard worker ..and very attractive ..does not look his age !

this will not end well.

just sayin'...

Good for you that you put the brakes on this flirting.

The consequences of doing anything with this guy are tremendous. You realize that.

Maybe his marriage is not so good. His wife is hurting and now you are another reminder. Step back and find yourself an available, hot guy.

The major problem is neither the identity of his, as he is mostly just an uncle in name only, nor his age, but his matrimony status.

I wonder how the relationships among your family members are. What do you think of the relationship between your father and you? Is it possible about Electra Complex?

I understand it would be very difficult for a younger woman who is infatuated, as I assume there is almost no emotional switch for you to close or open at will.

Simply if you want to save your life and the guy's, the best way I can suggest is you need to find someone who is single as an emotional substitute, so that he will be a nice distraction for you. If you prefer the older, then go date one.

My dad and I have an alright relationship, we're not extremely close but we just think differently. I don't discriminate w/ age, if ur attractive, take care of ur self and hav a great personality I like u.. I can do a few wrinkles just no gray hair. Although he looks about 10 yrs younger..I just find older men 40+ men know how to treat a girl right. I'm very old school w/ that ..he's sweet ..compliments me ..great listener..always concerned/ worried about me. It's very nice. I'm not use to that. Like I said ya can't deny chemistry ..he's shown every sign a married man can show w/o cheating. Last time I was over I may of been too obvious..we we're drinking ..I got alil flirty n touchy will I will admit but he didn't mind ..I think he liked it..guess the wife even seen /someone said something. She confronted my aunt ..told her she didn't like how I was dressed (I was in a black cocktail dress n fishnets) but it was a party I didn't see no harm in it. She asked my aunt if I had a crush on him ..when I'm my aunt defensed me his wife tried to laugh it off and say it's not a big deal ..when really it must of been. I have zero intentions on breaking up a happy couple (which means he'd hav to like me) which he may not..he never exactly said he did. I just get the feeling. So she's obviously feeling threatened by me ..all b/c I'm younger tall blonde ..thin and came over dressed like that ..to me I feel like well if u were secure w/ ur self and him then there wouldn't be a problem...I haven't contacted him ..especially considering what if he sees his phone ..yea no thank you ..she'd probably freak.
I'm keeping the way u feel to myself b/c it isn't exactly right ..it's not who I am and it's stupid ..but I look at it like if he contacts me or wants to meet up I will agree to of corse. I'm just not going to risk anything on my side. I don't want his /my family to go on and hate me and think that I'm nothing but a slutty home wrecking whore who's only looking for a sugar daddy. That is notttt me ..I just think he's a really great guy

I'm feeling alil guilty I posted this ..worried he or his wife will see but at the end of the day he never cheated and it's not a crime to have a crush on a girl even if ur married ..it's only really cheating if we actually did something. He's s great guy ..he goes to church and he is a family man as well. but hey he probably enjoyed the attention I gave him ..his wife probably don't even compliment him which sounds like no big deal but especially heading towards the mid life crisis he'd like to feel good about him self like any one else ..but face it if he isn't getting what he needs he will look else where..I want to make him feel good n young again..is it so wrong ?? I just wouldn't want to put his wife and kids threw that ..something like that is hard to forgive / unforgivable. I know those who view my post here probably think I'm all over ..that's b/c I am in torn ..I'm just typing as I think ..I know it's not worded well..I just hav no one to go to. My aunt now never brings him or her up ..ever ..she always would before but I guess she's afraid that I like him ..I didn't give her any details what do so ever ..she'd ask me if I had a lil crush ..I down played it and said of corse not ..he is a great guy and all but he's married w/ kids ...now I just have to keep reminding myself . I can't go to anyone. My one co worker who we agree on like everything says "omg Tiffany of course he likes u and would want to be w/ you ..have a young girl in his arms ..tall blonde thin..but my other co workers said stay away ..not right ..behave ..it's not ok..and my close friend said the same: other than that my lips hav been sealed ..I just wanted to see here if anyone ever liked a family member ..what they did about it ..or if anyone ever liked a guy / woman this much older ..let's face it we are quite far apart in age..I see most posts are girls that like a guy 10 yrs older ..my friends think it's weird to like a man in his late 40s ..to each their own maybe I'll meet a nice guy and it will surpass ,.growing up I was always alil infacuated by him ..never could explain it that I liked liked him until recently ...omg forget to say how funny is this :.when my parents and I moved out of our house we had ..he bought it!!!! My nersery as s Baby was then the nursery for his daughter when she was born haha..crazy ..thankfully his 2 kids are a lot younger ..his youngest really likes me ..guess she likes how glammed up and girly I am ..kinda cute but yea I need to stop beating a dead horse on this subject ..plz feel free to give ur input though!

Hi TiffanyM,

I think I'm able to understand more or less about your situation and emotion, but I'm not quite sure what you are exactly looking for on the forum here, though you are saying you look for advice.

As I know, many women who prefered venting out than looking for a solution when they trapped themselves in some difficult situation. Please don't get me wrong. I'm talking about the psychological tendency of the difference between males and females. I don't judge what it is good or bad. I assume you are not an exception, as I can see the infatuation seems to be going to drive you crazy... You have to find someones who are safe to listen to, and help you sort the thing out.

I believe he is an excellent gentleman. Please don't feel bad about your feeling. It's normal for any person who is attracted to another wonderful person. It is like women would admire a brilliant diamond in a store, though it doesn't belong to them. It's okay you like him and are attracted to him, because he is charming. He should be proud of himself, as well as his wife who is so lucky to have such an attracting husband.

I assume almost every couple experiences the periods that are up and down. Even if he is attracted to you too, that doesn't mean he would forget his commitment to his marriage and responsibilities to his family. For any sake, please do put your emotional brake on him, before it derails, and don't let every passenager from your family to his family get hurt. You know this well too.

I understood you want too, but you just don't know how to put a brake on it, right? The moment your reason tells you should stop, another moment the infatuation are like huge waves engulf, overwhelm you, and you are being lost, being frustrated.

Now, I hope you can focus on the solution, and find a way out.

Here I would offer my suggestion again. Please cut off any contact with him and avoid seeing him at any occasions. Please find a man who is single to date no matter you are really interested in him or not. He could be a nice distraction. If you finally find out that you don't like him, then you can change another man. It's normal you will sorely miss the "Uncle" for at least a few months, but the infatuation is likely diluted bit by bit.

When your emotional tank is empty, it is hard for you to pull yourself out; but when it is full, or half-full. You would feel much better.

It is you who're the driver of your life train. I trust you that you still have the necessary reason to drive it back on the right track. You will have to learn "head over heart". Way to go!

All the best!

Thx for taking ur time and giving me ur input.
I don't like feeling this way ..it's not who I am. Mostly b/c I would never want something like this to happen to me ..
For all I know he may not even think twice about me.
Maybe he does but he is a very respectable guy but just like anything else men ..women find themselves in situations that just happen..
On my end I'm not going to Persue anything .. he / no one has anything to worry about. It's a crush ..it's silly ..it's stupid and face it I may be admitting it here in a forum but just b/c men/ women who are taken won't ever admit it but I'm sure they've had a crush here and there or may of felt lust over someone other than their significant other...n nothing is wrong w/ that ...it's what u do about it ...
If he contacts me / looks for me I'm not going to decline..but it's all on him ..maybe he will ..men in general reach a point ..they become tempted //look for something exciting and new ..I wouldn't mind fulfilling that.
Like I said I'm here to just see if anyone ..man/ or woman ever been head over heels for someone of substantial age difference ../ or a family nrneber/ or someone married. Not sure if this was the correct forum to come to.
Does any one recommend another site ?
Thank you

It's been driving me crazy. I can't stop thinking about him.
He ended up texting me (tbh it was kind of random) guess he was feeling things out b/c hr hadn't heard from me in a month. So he re opened the door. Since then I messaged him. He messages me on fb instead of text .b/c his daughter gets his text on their iPad. So obviously if it wasn't a secret he would simply text me. Anyhow I ended up asking if his wife minded ..he said no of course not. I told him I have 0 intentions. So itleast they're it was in messages that he said it's ok to message him n that has wife don't mind ..and that I had no intentions. (Which I may however I don't want to) but if the oppertubity presents itself I'm not going to hold back or deny it. He said he has a lot of love for me as well.. what exactly does that mean ?? As a father figure / family member or sensually? This weekend their having a get together..he told me about it ...he didn't formally invite me? But does that sound like an invite ?? I can't expect much he can't b obvious. Over text he's not as flirty but in person he is, it's not all him though ..it's me I can be very flirty and touchy w/ him.
So his b day is Friday ,.whuch he told me he's taking it badly followed up by not sure why?? So how do I formally get invited? I know he wants me thete ?!
I can't just show up ! That's so out of line ??! I can't stop thinking n dreaming about him (last thing I need is his wife finding this post) (she's not one to mess w/ but not that he exactly said in so many words but he's not happy ..I can tell. Their just room mates from what I see.
Hoe do I get invited ..I'm not going to repress these feelings b/c he's such s great guy ..like extremely and all I want is to go out on dates n hav alil fun
I don't want them to break up.. I'd typically never settle for this it given everything at skate ..reality wise it's all I want any I can handle and be ok w/ that. I'm not a bad person..I'm very sweet friendly n down to earth!

It's hardly sweet to try as hard as you're trying for the opportunity to screw someone else's husband - and also run a chainsaw through your family.

His wife is no saint. He's the guy if he initiates it ..I'm all his. TBH I never wanted anyone like this. I really want to see him. I fantasize about him ..showing one another what we been missing ..we hav so much chemistry built up. Right now it's just a crush ..he hadn't cheated ..even if he thinks about it (which idk if he does) but it's not cheating. I wouldn't mind being the other woman tho ..think it's kind of hot. That's just me though. If a guy was my age I wouldn't settle for this ..all and all I enjoy our conversation ..his mannerisms and how sexy he is. It's a crush that's all