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Has she lost interest, or am I being paranoid?

 
 
Reply Thu 2 Nov, 2017 11:36 am
So I have been dating this girl for the past two months. We mostly only hangout on weekends as we live 45 minutes apart, but when we do hangout things are always great and we have a great time together. We text all the time and Ive met her friends and she has met mine and we have slept together 5 out of the 7 weeks that we have been seeing eachother. This past weekend, we went out together Friday night and had an amazing time, slept together and parted ways Saturday morning because we both had diff plans with diff friends for that day (this is normal for us). The next day on Sunday, I texted her like I always do and she took forever to respond and was not being as talkative as usual and sending short responses and I had a feeling something was up. I happen to know for a fact that she didn’t sleep with someone that night as she slept at her friends house, but im not ruling out that she may have met someone. Feeling insecure about it on Sunday, I attempted to make plans with her for Tuesday, but she said she was busy which is understandable. On Monday, I couldn’t stop thinking about her and invited her to come to a nba game with me this Friday, which she accepted. As of now I think we are still going. I should have just stopped talking to her there and waited until Friday but on then on Wednesday, she posted a snapchat of herself looking amazing and I couldn’t help myself and dm’d her saying she looked great and that I wanted to see her that night. She said she couldn’t hang because she had a big test to study for (this is believable too, but in the past she has always been available to hangout so twice in one week seemed odd). I told her no worries which she didn’t respond to and haven’t spoken to her since (this was yesterday). Tonight, I have to send a follow up text to remind her about the basketball game tomorrow, and I have a feeling she is going to bail. I could just be acting completely insecure about it and nothing is up at all, but if she is to bail on the Friday game then I think it is safe to assume that she has lost interest and maybe met someone else? If she does, should I completely cut off communication and stop trying? Really like this girl and until Sunday all signs pointed that she really liked me to. Any advice would be appreciated!

 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Thu 2 Nov, 2017 11:55 am
@305inthehouse,
You're being overly clingy.

Send your reminder. Short, sweet, and light. Nothing scolding or parent-like. In fact, don't couch it like a reminder at all (personally, I would hate it if I was being constantly reminded of stuff. I'm a grownup with a brain and I know how to set a calendar reminder). Instead, something like -

"Looking forward to seeing you at the game tomorrow."

Nothing more.

That's her reminder. If she bails, then I would really think long and hard about her, seeing as this is more than just 'hanging out' as bailing means she has cost you money and time. It's not just failing to hang out; it's leaving you holding the bag of a useless ticket.

And also, if she doesn't show, then give her 48 hours to say something. Don't ask her to say anything. Don't push, don't say, "I was waiting for you." or the like.

Anyone with half a brain will be well aware of that.

If the 48 hours elapses and you hear nothing about her not showing, then consider it done and dusted and do your best to accept being ghosted (which is a horribly cowardly thing to do, I might add).

Or maybe it'll all turn out okay and she really is just busy.

Give her enough rope. If she doesn't hang herself, then awesome. And if she does, then you'll be abundantly aware of where you stand.
305inthehouse
 
  2  
Reply Thu 2 Nov, 2017 12:02 pm
@jespah,
Great advice - thanks! If she does bail, should i respond to the text of her bailing?
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Thu 2 Nov, 2017 12:33 pm
@305inthehouse,
Nah.

And hold your head up if that happens - and consider it opening you up for better experiences in the future.
305inthehouse
 
  1  
Reply Fri 3 Nov, 2017 08:58 am
@jespah,
Update - I sent her a text last night at 8pm letting her know i would pick her up at 645 tonight for the game, ZERO response. On top of that I saw her liking pictures on instagram. This one hurts. Should I sent one more or move on?
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Fri 3 Nov, 2017 09:12 am
@305inthehouse,
I wouldn't. You've done plenty.

And I'm sorry. Sigh.

Do something you love until tonight, whether it's binge watching your fave show or hitting the gym or baking cookies (if you do, please send me some chocolate chip kthxbai Wink) and try to take your mind off things.

If she doesn't show, you'll have cookies, and that always beats not having cookies.

Hang in there.
305inthehouse
 
  1  
Reply Fri 3 Nov, 2017 09:21 am
@jespah,
Thx
0 Replies
 
305inthehouse
 
  1  
Reply Fri 3 Nov, 2017 02:11 pm
@jespah,
One more update lol - She texted me this morning confirming she was down to go, and apologized saying that she had forgot to respond last night. Two hours later (I never responded) she texted me again saying "Hey love I am so sorry but I cant go tonight. Sorry for the last minute notice but one of my best friends is in town leaving tomorrow and is staying with me and guilt tripping me hard. Down to hang tomorrow or something, sorryy"

Im assuming i should not respond, correct?
Cycloptichorn
 
  2  
Reply Fri 3 Nov, 2017 02:14 pm
@305inthehouse,
Yup. Done.

If she writes back again, play it cool and see where it goes but make her do the initiatin'. I like to give people second chances, but not third ones.

Cycloptichorn
305inthehouse
 
  1  
Reply Fri 3 Nov, 2017 02:32 pm
@Cycloptichorn,
thx
0 Replies
 
 

 
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