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20 year old guy asking out a 31 year old woman? Is it weird and what will she think about it?

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INTAPF
 
Reply Fri 27 Oct, 2017 08:48 pm
Ok so I am a 20 year old male and I am coworkers with a 31 year old female. She has only worked at the place for a couple of weeks; but the thing is, I want to ask her out. We seem to have a really good connection. For example, Her and I always talk to eachother the entire time we are on the clock and sometimes we even stay after to talk with eachother. I sometimes negelct my work just to talk to her (I know bad habbit). I consider her a friend and shes my favorite coworker as I wake up and always look forward to seeing her and wondering what we will talk about. I know all of this is just crush territory although at the same time I know I like her as I am physically attracted to her and she has one of the most amazing personailties ive even seen. We just seem to like the same things and we even join in with eachothers jokes on another coworker. Point being I like her a lot and I feel as if we have a connection.

However, I’m am 20 and still in college while she is 31 and done with schooling. She also has a 4 year old daughter (I don’t mind children when it comes to dating but I also don’t know how this would affect the relationship or how much responsibility this would take). The thing I am asking is in two parts.

Will she be creeped out if I ask her out? Is she just being nice to me and my inexperiance is just seeing it as a potential relationship? Would ahe even be thinking of a 20 year old as a potential partner?

And what is your guys imput? Should I stray away and just setting wih a friendship and coworker? Or should I persue this and try to start a relationship in risk of losing the way we connect. I really don’t wanna lose her, however I think it’s immature and not healthy to keep feeling bottled up.

Please help me, I am inexperianced and I would appriciate legit feedback.
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Type: Question • Score: 6 • Views: 592 • Replies: 10

 
Blickers
 
  1  
Reply Fri 27 Oct, 2017 08:53 pm
@INTAPF,
If the situation is as you say, I can't imagine she would be put off by you asking her out. Not saying she is going to accept, just that she would not consider it out of line for you to ask.
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glitterbag
 
  3  
Reply Fri 27 Oct, 2017 09:25 pm
@INTAPF,
I think it would be best to remain work friends. You may just be a little infatuated because she talks to you,but many people just like to converse and are naturally friendly. There is nothing wrong with asking her, but she does have a 4 year old.....you're only 20....she needs to support and raise her child.

I know this sounds negative, but you also could be at risk because of the age difference. She may be wonderful and incredibly well adjusted but she could also exploit your youthfulness and (pleas don't be insulted) but the imbalance of your life experience. Very young people never want to hear this, but I'm not implying you are immature...I'm saying the older individual could be immature and that has the potential to tie you in knots in ways you can't imagine.

If you were my brother or sister I would encourage you to mix with people closer to your age. I've always enjoyed people younger and older and the same age. That can be enriching, just be careful to keep a comfortable distance for awhile. She's only worked with you or a few weeks....give it a little more time.

That's just my suggestion.
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Fri 27 Oct, 2017 10:15 pm
@glitterbag,
A good suggestion IMHO.
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Fri 27 Oct, 2017 10:43 pm
@cicerone imposter,
How have you been CI?
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Fri 27 Oct, 2017 10:56 pm
@glitterbag,
Pretty good, gb. The sun still shines petty bright every day, and feel pretty good about almost everything. Looking forward to our Mississippi River cruise next month. How are you doing?
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  3  
Reply Fri 27 Oct, 2017 11:07 pm
When Henry Plantagenet was 19 years old, he married Eleanor of Aquitaine, who was 31. Two years later, he became King Henry II of England. Between them, they claimed about half of what is today France. This lead to 300 years of intermittent warfare, including what we call the Hundred Years War. Who knows, this may be the start of something big!
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Fri 27 Oct, 2017 11:15 pm
@Setanta,
As Chuck Berry would sing ‘It goes to show you never can tell’ 🎶
0 Replies
 
Roberta
 
  6  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2017 01:19 am
I'm less concerned about the age difference than I am about your dating a co-worker. This is NOT a good idea.
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2017 04:21 am
@Roberta,
Exactly. Dating coworkers rarely works out well.
0 Replies
 
Sam560
 
  1  
Reply Fri 3 Nov, 2017 07:46 pm
@INTAPF,
I would have to say I know the feeling. Though coworkers generally aren't seen as good dating material, you never know what might happen. Dating is not only fun, but it helps you make good friends. Wether you two do get into a relationship, or you decide you're both better off as friends, this is a good thing.

If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that anythings possible!

I don't think she'll be "creeped out" as you said. If she likes you she'll let you know. If not, the worst that could happen is she'd say no.

Dating helps you make friends and have lasting relationships. I say go for it.
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