@MRK-MRK,
So you need to try a way to re-create that mood/feeling while you're at home.
Figure out what you and the kids can do to help her feel less stressed/more relaxed at home.
Somehow sort out what will allow her to feel free and relaxed.
Even a few hours or a weekend afternoon at a time could make a difference.
Make sure all the chores are taken care of and then take her away for a dirty afternoon at a hotel. Tell her to go out for a manicure or something and then to meet you at a hotel bar on a Saturday afternoon. Let her know the kids/pets/house will be fine. Let the kids know you're going to be treating their mother to a special afternoon - leave money for them to order pizza/burgers whatever.
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it somehow reads like she feels responsible for so much in her life - whether or not that is true - make it superobvious that you and the kids have her back ... and then arrange for a fun irresponsible afternoon or evening.
It doesn't have to be manicure/bar/hotel. It could be time at a museum/art gallery/movie fest. It could be a picnic. It could be trap-shooting. Just something she doesn't arrange and where she can let loose - and laugh.
