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Tue 24 Oct, 2017 11:48 am
So background on me: I’m in potentially my last year of university and a couple years ago decided to not date while in uni, because my last relationship had a negative effect on my grades. I had also never been in a long distance relationship before.
The situation: Over a year ago I was welcomed into an online D&D group by a bunch of awsome guys. Fast forward 8 months and 1 of them asks me if I want to try out a long distant relationship. He is a nice and sweet guy so I decide, despite my promise to myself I wouldn’t, to give it a go. It’s all good, we work thing out. And then bam, as I should have expected, my grades start to drop from not being able to manage my time properly while dating. I was also finding it very difficult to be in a long distant relationship, for all the normal reasons it’s hard to make a long distant relationship work.
The relationship (for me at least) lasts 4 months, I have the discussion with him that it’s not working out, I need to focus on my school, and I don’t want a long distance relationship.
At this point in time we were still talking weakly for our D&D game, no hostility anywhere but not talking outside the game anymore. Fast forward again almost 6 months to last week and our D&D campaign comes to a natural close. I join a different game scheduled to start tomorrow, which he isn’t in (not because I don’t want anything to do with him, he just happens to not be in this one). He had mentioned last week that he was sad that he wouldn’t be able to have the weekly schedualed time during our last campaign to spend with me anymore, which I thought was sweet but didn’t really read much into.
The issue: he just messaged me essentially asking if we where still dating, saying - I have been wondering, are we alright? I have felt like there might be something wrong with us so I thought I would ask.
And all I can think to reply is - you’re joking right? But I know he isn’t. And we haven’t talked outside of our game in almost 6 months, when I thought I was pretty clear about our relationship having ended. I just don’t know how to handle this with eloquence, and not having him feel like an idiot.
TL;DR
I thought I ended a 4 month relationship 6 months ago pretty clearly. We haven’t talked just the two of us since then. But he seems to think that there is still a relationship. I don’t know how to handle this with eloquence.
You don't need to be "eloquent". This isn't a literary competition. Plain and simple language is called for, especially since it seems a misunderstanding has persisted on his side. Just say "I thought I had ended our dating relationship six months ago. I am surprised that you didn't realise this." You can copy those words if you want. You don't need to dress this up in fancy language. It's not about your pretty turn of phrase, it's about setting him straight.
"You're joking, right?"
That about sums up all this foolishness.
There never was a "relationship" - it was a game.
There never was real "dating."
Tell him that was fun, but now you are moving on to another game, and other game buddies.
BTW- how much time are you spending on gaming? THAT, not a nice young man, is what causes your grades to drop.
@PUNKEY,
People have been playing D&D at university for decades without grades suffering.
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In any case, the question is about the end of the relationship.
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to the OP - take centrox's advice - literally , cut and paste the suggestion
if necessary, block the former relationship guy