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Could someone tell me if I have errors?

 
 
Reply Tue 10 Oct, 2017 01:17 pm
Hello, English is not my first language so I have a difficult time seeing if my sentence are odd or if I have grammar errors. I was wondering if someone could kindly proofread the following:

I graduated with a diploma of social sciences from the Cegep of Thetford in 2002. I also have a bachelor of geography from Université Laval, which I completed in 2005. Both schools are located in the province of Quebec. I also have a certificate in digital media production from Edmonton Digital Arts College which I graduated in 2010. I am always looking to develop new skills. I completed few online certificates after that.

I have accumulated experience throughout the jobs I worked at.
​When I worked for the CRA as a business agent, I performed data entry and responded to inquiries over the phone, in French and English. Having working as a web/graphic designer at Freson Bros, filing files was very important. I have worked with Microsoft software thorough my job experience. I can also query database in order to narrow down information.
 
hightor
 
  3  
Reply Tue 10 Oct, 2017 02:12 pm
@Marie1541,
Here's my take on it:

Quote:
I graduated with a diploma in social sciences from the Cegep of Thetford in 2002. I also have a bachelor of geography from Université Laval, which I completed in 2005. Both schools are located in the province of Quebec. I also have a certificate in digital media production from Edmonton Digital Arts College where I graduated in 2010. I am always looking to develop new skills. I completed a few online certificates after that.

I have accumulated experience in all the jobs where I have worked.
​When I worked for the CRA as a business agent, I performed data entry and responded to inquiries over the phone, in French and English. Having working as a web/graphic designer at Freson Bros, filing was very important. I have worked with Microsoft software through all my job experiences. I can also query database in order to narrow down information.
Sturgis
 
  2  
Reply Tue 10 Oct, 2017 02:20 pm
@Marie1541,
...Diploma of Social Sciences (2002) from the Cegep of Thetford and a Bachelor of Geography degree (2005) from Universite Laval, both of which are in the Province of Québec. Additionally, I have a certificate in digital media production (2010), Edmonton Digital Arts College.

Additionally, I have completed a number of online certificate programs.

( it would be beneficial to you and the reader if you were to list these certificates)


*** move the sentence 'I am always looking to develop new skills...' to near the end of your letter.

Working for the CRA as a Business Agent, I performed data entry and responded to inquiries in both French and English.

While working as a Web/Graphic Designer at Freson, one of my duties, was keeping the filing up to date.

Move your skills to the next section as follows:
Working knowledge of Microsoft software, ability to query a database and narrow down information.

Languages spoken: French, English


***place your comments about looking to develop new skills here, try to be specific which area(s) you are seeking to learn more in.

Marie1541
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 Oct, 2017 02:39 pm
@hightor,
Thank you!
0 Replies
 
Marie1541
 
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Reply Tue 10 Oct, 2017 02:40 pm
@Sturgis,
Thank you, have a wonderful rest of your day!
0 Replies
 
dalehileman
 
  -1  
Reply Tue 10 Oct, 2017 10:34 pm
@Marie1541,
Marie, hope others have come thru with additional paras

Having graduated with a Diploma of Social Sciences from the Cegep of Thetford in 2002, I also have achieved a Bachelor of Geography from Université Laval, completed in 2005, both schools located in Quebec. I also have a Certificate in Digital Media Production from Edmonton Digital Arts College, from which I had graduated in 2010. Always looking to develop new skills, I've subsequently completed a few 'online certificates'

Stur of course, always a god guy w/ good advice
0 Replies
 
 

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Wording - Question by Marie1541
 
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