What to do about controlling adult daughter?

Just my opinion, but I think this is one of those times when direct confrontation is the way to go.

Is she controlling or overly inquisitive?

Do her questions actually cause you to change your behaviour?

Have you talked to her directly and honestly about your feelings about all of her questions?

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It sounds like things aren't going well in her own life and that questioning/interfering in yours may be an effort to feel better. She needs help with that. You probably can't help/fix her but you can certainly let her know how you feel about all the questions. Let her know you don't like it. Refuse to answer or tell the truth - that is your call (my instinct would be to ignore the questions and/or redirect her).

Do you need to talk with her frequently? maybe put a limit on your contacts. block her on any social media you're on so she can't follow you around there.

She really does need to grow up and be more independent.

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If she'd done that to me/date, there would have been a very serious family discussion that evening/the next day.

thanks for the input but she makes me feel so guilty b/c I don't lie - not my style despite her always telling me that I am lying - I hate being accused of something I am not guilty for.

Back off talking to her. Tell her your personal business is NOT her business.

Talk to her once a week for a limited period of time. Lead the discussion - ask her questions. Don't answer hers unless she answers yours.

She really needs to grow up.

Keep in mind you don't have to like your relatives. You can love them but not like them. You dón't choose your relatives but you do choose who you interact with.

If time talking to her makes you feel guilty instead of bringing you joy - talk to her less.

A simple "why do you ask" might do for a start. Her questioning and demand for attention is really about something going on with her.

She seems afraid - maybe of losing you to your new friend. She's unemployed right now. That's also scary.

Was she close to her father? That 5 year mark is difficult for some people. She could have delayed grief.

Head off the questions. Tell her you are going out and won't be ableto talk to her until tomorrow morning.

Encourage counseling. Her actions show her anxiety is beyond appropriate.

Exactly - why are you even answering her if you don't want her to know? That is what I don't get. If she asks what you ate today say it really isn't your business. If she asks what you did last night or who you went with - same answer. Or even better yet - why talk to her? You don't need to talk with her or answer her questions if you don't want to - no reason to lie -- simply don't tell her.

Yeah, I'd be asking her why she's asking all these questions. You don't have to answer to her, you know... you ARE her mother. Tell her to stop it. Tell her it annoys you. She's too intrusive.

Maybe she's going through some issues; happy, well-adjusted people don't do this.