He is a former co-worker. I rang him to talk. He asked about my new boyfriend in an annoyed way- like it pained him to say the word 'bf'. He asked exactly why I was calling and I just mentioned my friend needed a job where he works, he then says that I am just USING him because I only ever talk to him when I have a work question. Then he said he only has got two messages off me- first was a long angry text from me (I was mad at him) and the second was all about my boyfriend (according to him). I started mocking his age how he was almost 40 (in a joke) and going on about his 'generation' but that he still looked young and that I like him anyways- he says angrily 'can we stop talking about my age!'
I asked him why he was so depressed and he says he's sad since I left because he has nobody to talk to in the evenings there. Then he said he's just not used to talking on the phone?
He hinted that he needed to go to the pub so I suggest coming out with me and my friends, he was extremely interested- wanting to know when and where until I said it's far away (45 minute drive). He then says 'let me know when you're in town and I'll go for a drink with you'.
I tried telling him I care about him but he just brushed it off. I saw him then yesterday and he looked different- wearing a jacket exactly like my boyfriend's and had the same hairstyle as him as well which he never had before? He also looked fed up. Opinions PLEASE!??
He feels old, because when he looks at his age, he realizes he isn't in his mid-30s anymore. He's more in his late 30s, so "almost 40" really does fit.
All it took was a year for him to go from "mid-30s" to "almost 40".
Unfortunately, this guy seems to be unable to fully accept that reality. I'm his age, and it doesn't bother me at all when my 28 year-old friends call me grandpa as a joke. But that's partly because I don't consider "old-fashioned" to be a bad thing.
In any case I would never expect a 19 year old to be interested in me. I would find that strange.
Your comment is plain ignorant. You do not even know me so how do you have any right to call me 'silly' and 'boring'? I'm extremely mature, I'm 20 in only a few weeks and no it is not strange to have feelings for an older man. You cannot help how you feel
In any case I would never expect a 19 year old to be interested in me. I would find that strange.
And vice-versa. When you're 40, nineteen-year-olds seem very silly and young, and boring to talk to, and mostly very ignorant.
I don't find them boring in general, but they are ignorant in some ways that get on my nerves. I can see myself having friends who are 20 years younger than i am at some point.
Right now I'm taking a programming class with people just over 20, and man is there a generational disconnect. I feel like Gordon Clark from Halt and Catch Fire, surrounded by the kids from Mutiny.
0 Replies
Kolyo
4
Reply
Sat 16 Sep, 2017 01:31 pm
@Holahaysus12345,
Holahaysus12345 wrote:
You cannot help how you feel
Correct. But people don't have to act on how they feel. Feelings pass.
0 Replies
centrox
3
Reply
Sat 16 Sep, 2017 02:13 pm
@Holahaysus12345,
Holahaysus12345 wrote:
You do not even know me so how do you have any right to call me 'silly' and 'boring'? I'm extremely mature, I'm 20 in only a few weeks
Q.E.D.
0 Replies
chai2
4
Reply
Sat 16 Sep, 2017 02:27 pm
@Holahaysus12345,
Holahaysus12345 wrote:
Your comment is plain ignorant. You do not even know me so how do you have any right to call me 'silly' and 'boring'? I'm extremely mature, I'm 20 in only a few weeks and no it is not strange to have feelings for an older man. You cannot help how you feel
Wow. You hit the trifecta in your 2nd post in this thread.
You don't know me.
It's not strange what I'm doing
You can't help how you feel.
Yet another person who asks for "advice" and objects when it's given.
I don't see where this man has expressed any particular interest in you, and it sounds in the first conversation that he was trying to get you off the phone.
You can indeed "help how you feel" by giving careful consideration to what you are feeling at the moment, and putting it into context.
If you were indeed as mature as you say, I don't think you would be asking complete strangers about this, asking for "honest opinions" and then calling the opinions given ignorant.
I'd like your honest opinion.
Ok, my honest opinion is you're being silly.
You're ignorant
0 Replies
tibbleinparadise
3
Reply
Sat 16 Sep, 2017 07:45 pm
@Holahaysus12345,
It's okay, you'll understand that Centrox is right when you get older.
I'm 38 and would never seriously date a 19-20 year old. The lack of general life experience (by no fault of your own) makes you...well...silly and boring. Casual friends, maybe, but never a serious relationship.
You'll get it some day.
0 Replies
maxdancona
2
Reply
Sat 16 Sep, 2017 09:19 pm
@Holahaysus12345,
Do you know any 10 year olds? Think about how you would connect emotionally, or intellectually with a 10 year old. That is what it is like for a 37 year old and a 19 year old.
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