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Tue 22 Aug, 2017 07:51 am
Ok well I had an affair several years ago. It was an EA for five months online and then turned physical. We met and had sex three times. Now I was so turned on by this guy. But during the sex I never orgasmed. I almost did twice but just never went over the edge. Then it died and I road out the rest of the time not feeling much. I don't understand it. I am multi orgasmic and my H makes me orgasm five or six times. Even if I start out not wanting it. So what went wrong? It was hot! I was ready to eat him alive! And then nothing. No mind blowing orgasms I always heard of. Has anyone else had this happen? Or am I just the odd one out?
@Jon69,
Yeah...it was. He was 6' 3" and I guess about four inches...
@Ganda1969,
Maybe you felt guilty. Maybe it mattered to you that you didn't love the guy.
Wacky, I know.
@jespah,
No I didn't love him. It was the attention. I liked him alot. He was a real charmer. Made me feel special. He kept telling me how good he was in bed. It was at a time when I was depressed alot. I know I was wrong. But at the time I couldn't think straight. It was exciting. But the hype of Ming blowing sex didn't happen. Once we got at it it lasted maybe a minute and died. I don't know. Maybe it was in my head. I don't remember feeling guilty until afterwards.
@Ganda1969,
The reality is that not all people are good sexual matches. Doesn't matter if we want them to be or think they should be. Finding a good sexual match isn't really really difficult but it's definitely not guaranteed.
Your husband is apparently a good sexual match for you. Apparently he's missing something else or you wouldn't have gone out looking around.
@Ganda1969,
He was nothing like my husband. I've never had an orgasm with anyone but him. I guess maybe all his bragging was a disappointment when we finally met. Just wondering if anyone else had this happen. But from what I read it seems that I'm not the norm. I do remember feeling very dirty afterwards. I rushed home and showered. I felt nasty, dirty and used.
@Ganda1969,
It was me. I thought it was him. I told myself it was him. But in therapy I had to admit my childhood sexual abuse. Then at 14 I was sold into the sex trade for a couple of years. Then perimenopause hit me at 44. Depression and mood swings. I was the one who didn't communicate. I never disliked my husband but I pushed him away. I was miserable and I blamed him. Then this guy popped up on Facebook. I fell for it. It was my fault. I had problems and hid it from him. My past, my depression. I hid it. He didn't do anything wrong. He had no idea.
@Ganda1969,
We only met three times. But the affair lasted almost two years. After the third time we met he changed. He damanded more nude photos. He wanted video chat so he could masterbate. Very degrading and humiliating. Ha always started his text messages with a question...how was he in bed. I'd just tell him good. He wasn't the sweet guy from before. The problem was I couldn't say no to him. He would hound me for photos until I gave it. Toward the end I was scared of him. I was scared to end it. But I know for a fact that after the third time we met I wasn't ever going to have sex with him ever again.
@Ganda1969,
Ganda1969 wrote: But from what I read it seems that I'm not the norm.
what?
someone's been telling you that sex with **** buddies is always amazing?
it's not.
look at the research , not the anecdotal stories
@Ganda1969,
Are you still with your husband?
Take him to counselling with you. Talk to him.
@Ganda1969,
But the fact is, I was hooked to him. I was excited before and when he showed up. I was horny and the affair sex I had just plain sucked. Maybe it was me. Maybe it was him. Idk but it was my choice to do it. And I so regret it now. The OM turned into a monster. Shared my pictures and bragged he made me his slut. Humiliated yes but it was my choice.
@Ganda1969,
Yes. My husband found out. He was crushed. But to me it was such a relief to get caught. Not cause I hurt him but to just to be free of this affair. My husband and I have been in MC for almost three years. He not only had to deal with my affair but my past. He has been there for me even tho I don't deserve it. He says he still loves and forgives me. He is a good Christian man. He said through better or worse. I can never say I'm sorry enough. I hurt him and our kids. But he is still here and I love him more than ever. I will never cheat again. It is so not worth it.
@Ganda1969,
You can fantasize all you want but reality always gets in the way.
@PUNKEY,
Yes...that's what an affair is. A fantasy. A selfish fantasy.
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