Am I being a mean wife?

Let me start by saying I love and care about my husband. But we have a lot of problems. We've been married 5 years and it has been rocky since the start. It's my 2nd, his 3rd marriage. He has problems; more than I ever knew when I met him. He hid it well. Looking back, there were tons of warning signs that I ignored because I was so enamored with him. He gets angry at me a lot, loses it about every day. I find myself walking on pins needles around him. He hasn't had a steady job in a year now. He worked as a Project Manager for a construction site but quit over differences with another manager. He has been renovating homes ever since, on his own. The problem is that he cannot manage money at all. He has ruined my credit and has caused me to have judgments against me. I can't complain because he throws fits and gets mad whenever we discuss money. He got paid to do a small remodeling job back in April. The money is spent, and not all on the job. He is trying to finish the job, but of course is using MY paycheck to help fund it. He hasn't had a paycheck since around July. He is now super depressed all the time. He lies a lot-for instance, he has 2 friends that have offered him a great job at a company they work at, all he has to do is complete his resume. He hasn't done it or worked on it in 2 months. But he has lied and stated he already has the job, they just don't need him yet on the job. I know it's a lie. I have tip-toed around, being nice, being supportive, but I am done. I told him yesterday that he needs to get a job. He needs to start setting goals. I told him that he is the man of the house. He needs to start acting like it. If he wants to be a builder, be a builder, but do it right. He gets angry with me, but I am done sugar-coating things. Am I being mean? Am I being harsh with someone who has depression? I offered to go to counseling if need be.