Should I leave my wife

It sounds like you believe what you have been told. If you can't get this sorted out, your main question is a little premature.

Roger is right. This advice is from a long-divorced man. The worst is now in the past. ( as in "for better or worse") It is about admitting that she isn't perfect. Who is? It is about forgiving her for not being perfect. I was so emotionally numb from at least three out of five years of arguing that when I told my wife I wanted to leave, even her on her knees crying and begging me not to go didn't phase me. At least you have the benefit of my memory. IF the day ever comes that you tell her that it's over, I tell you with blurred eyes and quivering lips, base the final decision on her reaction.

If it matters to you, and if it will alleviate your concerns (and a possible obsession forming), then take a paternity test. And maybe for all three of your kids. Not because you suspect your wife of three different infidelities but because it will ease your mind.

And you will also learn that, often, full-blooded siblings can look very different.

These brothers don't look the same:

and neither do these:

and these siblings look different:

and so do these:

and these sisters have differences in their appearances, too:

Genetics is a fascinating topic.

BTW, if your eldest is not your biological child, then I do hope you still accept him as your own. But recognize that his biological father would have rights and should know he exists, if that turns out to be the case.

Ok let's stop right here. Your oldest son is yours (whether or not it was your sperm that conceived him). And if you are any sort of decent person you will be there for your oldest son no matter what happens. That is what parents do.

Being a father is not about DNA, it is about the bond you form with your children; the role you take in his life, and the role he takes in your. You brought him home from the hospital. You played with him, he smiled at you. He said his early words to you. He made you laugh. You teach him things.

Please separate your feelings about your wife from your feelings about your son. Otherwise you will be extreme cruel to three kids that you love (if you think that treating your son as something less won't hurt your other kids who care about their brother, you are wrong).

If you love your kids... if you care about being a father... than you need to understand that your oldest son is you son. This is just true because you are the one father that he knows. Parenting is about love, and sacrifice and caring. It is not about DNA.

I raised two boys; they were the sons of my wife (now ex-wife) from before we married. Their father was out of the picture, I raised them as my own... there is no difference between them and my daughter (who came from my sperm). I cared for them, I taught them, I helped them through the difficult times of growing up, I laughed with them in the fun times of growing up.

Being a father is worth every minute. So, be a father to your three kids.

Man.!!! you need love to love your own kids and more love to love the ones are not yours.!! my admiration to you..!!. your raise those little ones , they belong to you.! dont let them taken you away from their love.
as for hers, be patiente if you still love her. tell her of course w
how you feel.
after that settle for the way it is or break free, cuz the daubt wont let you live,
make a very conscious desistion that if you stay you be at peace for the sake of love of all and the family.
the desicion es yours and you will go to its consequences.