child born out of one night stand

Do the paternity test but don't mail it. Bring it if she lives close enough. I'm serious. Get in the car and do it in person, either at her home or some neutral location.

If your husband is not the father, then you will retain the paternity test and please be civilized and kind about this and wish this woman well. Hopefully that will give her some closure, and if she is looking to scam you, then you will know where she lives or at least the town.

If he is the father, then it's about time he met his child.

The courts don't have to get involved until it's money time, and that is going to be a lot harder for this woman to prove (if that is her intention in contacting you, which it probably is) if the paternity test says no.

Thanks so much I keep going back and forth with what to do .. we found a place to have the paternity test done and we offered to pay and everything she says she is out of town next week which is when we suggested to do it so i guess we just need to get that done then go from there ... Its just complicated because my husband and i have 2 children of out own ..and this is all of a sudden

Well, it's definitely all of a sudden - and she may very well be attempting to scam you. I am suggesting in person because if she is a scammer, she'll weasel out of it any way she can.

And definitely the test. For everyone's peace of mind, plus it's the kind of thing you can bring to court if it comes to that.

I agree with jespah - (she is a smart cookie) - its got to be hard to have this dropped on you two. Breathe, take one step at a time and wait (as hard as this will be) for the final results.

My hubby's best friend had this dropped on him - a child he never knew he had fathered - she pretty much showed up on his door step as a teenager. At the time of his one night stand - he was single. Now married with two kids of his own a teenager he never knew about. It was bumpy but he worked it out and the girl has been living with his family since.

We are all human so these surprises can unfortunately happen. But the last thing is we don't want the child to suffer. It seems you two are responsible adults overall so I trust you will do what is best if this is not a scam. But best to protect yourselves - there are lots of scammers out there and many people willing to take advantage of any situation.