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emotional affair

 
 
Reply Fri 4 Aug, 2017 10:37 am
My husband of 20 years had an emotional affair with a co-worker. He claims it's over, but we are still separated. He left me 5 weeks ago with a text. We have been going out on dates, and we saw a counselor once so far. Next meeting is 8/15/17. I'm having a really hard time understanding why he left. When we are together he tells me he loves me and kisses me. But he won't text me and he won't talk about our problems outside of therapy. Which is fine, but it leaves me to fill in blanks. I want to trust him when he says he loves me and wants to work on our marriage, but when he "ignores" my texts I get upset. I need help in believing him and trusting him again. What can I do?
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Fri 4 Aug, 2017 10:42 am
@cinders2010,
Bring it up in counseling. You need to make it clear that the signals you are getting are confusing and upsetting you, and that you need to know that the person you are texting is as committed to working on your marriage as the guy in the counselor's office.
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ehBeth
 
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Reply Fri 4 Aug, 2017 10:42 am
@cinders2010,
1. stop texting. put the phone down/away. turn it off unless you're a surgeon on call

let things rest

think about what is being said when you go to counselling

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get on with your life - don't wait around for counselling to change your life - it will help but you need to be active in your life - counselling is simply a component of your current life

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You say you don't understand why your husband left - did he not tell you why?
ehBeth
 
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Reply Fri 4 Aug, 2017 10:48 am
@cinders2010,
cinders2010 wrote:
But he won't text me and he won't talk about our problems outside of therapy.


that is as it should be at this stage
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cinders2010
 
  1  
Reply Fri 4 Aug, 2017 11:02 am
@ehBeth,
I have been getting on with my life. I go out with friends, im very active at my gym and walking my dog. It's not like I'm waiting for him to text me, he told me that he would text me, and then doesn't. Then tells me that it wasn't intentional. WTF does that mean? And he only told me that it was trust issues, communication problems. But he won't tell me how he wants us to fix it.
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