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Wed 26 Jul, 2017 10:25 am
I'm a young girl who is married, we have a young child together, about 3 months ago I met a guy who is wayyyyy older then me, married as well with a child, we see each other almost every week at one point we got caught because somebody started texting me to stop the affair, and then my husband got a text to inform him that I'm having an affair. We stopped seeing each other for another month however after that we got in contact again. Recently I found out that his wife pays most of the bills and pretty much takes care of the house, however he has a very good job with a decent income. Never have we ever discussed him leaving his family and being with me and I never told him that I would leave my husband for him. Whenever talk about feelings even though I hint about feelings I feel like I'm totally in love with this guy because I think about him 24/7 we talk on the phone about once a day because since we got caught we're done email or text anymore until now this whole relationship was only all about sex, I haven't gotten any gifts from him or anything like that, I know in my heart that he doesn't treat me right and I have to get out of this destroying affair, And they know that I need to end it before he does it first since it's going to just kill me....i'm in love with this man I can't explain why and I know that he would never leave his wife no matter what. I just need someone advice because my friends already sick of hearing about it, and I would want to hear from somebody who has been in the similar situation. I know that this guy doesn't love me because he never expressed any feelings towards me other than taking me to hotel rooms and occasional dinners which makes me really really sad but even the small thought of ending this affair started getting me depressed. I don't know what to do at this point I'm so in love with this guy and I don't know what to do please help
@Headoverheals,
Get counseling. Figure out why you would risk your marriage and family (and probably your lifestyle - let's not kid ourselves; divorce isn't cheap) for someone who doesn't even treat you well. Get some damned self-respect back.
@jespah,
I did go to a counselor and got pretty much nothing out of it. For 4 months I haven't even gotten flowers sent to my work...nothing, my husband found out I cheated on him, we worked our issues out and the guy appeared again a month later...and I fell back into the same hole
@Headoverheals,
Then get another counselor. I'm serious. They are not all the same.
In the meantime - you expect flowers at work? I sure as hell don't.
But even if you do, understand what your expectations are. If you want to be with your husband, then work with him and block this other guy. If you want to be with the married man, then leave your husband so he has a chance to find someone who actually cares about him. And don't bet the farm on the married man. Most of the time, they don't leave their wives. Why? Because divorce is expensive.
@jespah,
I love how everyone are telling me the same thing and I see it too, he will never leave his wife not because of the kid just because he is comfortable with the lifestyle he has and doesn't want to change it, because it's not his first affair...for me it is tho and it is extremely hard to break things off. I love my husband, my family and everything, however our sex life is terrible, so I got it elsewhere and unfortunately fell for that person
@Headoverheals,
Actually, it's not hard to break it off at all.
These days, blocking is easier than ever before.
So do it.
@Headoverheals,
Have you worked with your husband on the sex thing? Professional help is also available through the doctor, counseling, and therapy.
It might be an awkward conversation to start with your husband, but probably less uncomfortable than being caught cheating. If he catches you in an affair and wants a divorce he could pretty much ruin you financially and get full custody of any children. Judges don't look favorably on cheaters.
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