What to do when husband is having a hard time choosing me or OW

I'm going to try to keep this short. About a year ago my husband cheated we ended up wanting to work things out I forgave him and forgot her but not the situation. Fast foward to now, my husband last week told me he loves me but is not in love with me. He said he likes this girl from work that he wants us both but I did tell him that is unrealistic. He said I have to win him over again cause I haven't made him happy and she does. He said I'm not the same person I was when we first got together but truth is who is? He isn't the same person either, he blames me for every problem in our marriage how I have let myself go, how I don't listen to him or show no care or compassion so he found someone else who gives him those things. I used to give him those things but almost on a daily basis he calls me every name in the book, when I do get dressed up and look good for him he doesn't tell me I look beautiful so yes I stopped trying. Nothing I say gets in his head. I tell him that of course he is happy its new but tell him what about a future with her, she won't be the same person either. Oh I also need to add that he says we are separated but still under the same roof and not legally but he says he can do what he wants and its not cheating, I feel like it is especially if you say you want us to try to work. But he's having a hard time he tells us both he doesn't know what he wants. I don't want to just run from our marriage but what do I do if he decides tomorrow it was her then I am SOL